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Joke of the Day (Read 8021 times)
Raven
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #15 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:31pm
 
A huge storm strikes the city and at about 4am a huge tree is uprooted and crushes Joe Swanson's car. Luckily Joe has insurance against "Acts of God" and promptly makes a claim.

Now being an insurance company they don't want to pay, and like most insurance companies they have a direct line to God.

The following is the conversation with the assessor and God.

(Phone Rings)

"Hello?"

"Yes this is an assessor with Eternal Insurance can I speak to God please?"

"Speaking"

"Hi I was wondering do you make the weather?"

"Well I'm God it's kinda what I do"

"Oh ok, so did you make the storm that crushed Joe's car a couple nights ago?"

"You'll have to be more specific, There are a lot of Joes in the world"

"Joe Swanson 1 Burden Place Milner 4am 2nd November"

"Let me see Joe Swanson" (Flipping through appointment book)

"Nope that wasn't me, I was in Africa giving AIDS to babies"
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Quoth the Raven "Nevermore"

Raven would rather ask questions that may never be answered, then accept answers which must never be questioned.
 
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Neferti
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #16 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:33pm
 
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« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2014 at 8:36am by Neferti »  
 
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #17 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:38pm
 
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:33pm:
Mixed marriages are still not really accepted. They tend to produce children who are "coloured". That causes problems.

PS The only people who call RACIST are the coloured ones. Whiteys care less about colour. Grin


Oh......ooops!  Was there really no racism (rid London of Indians who are all sh1tting in the streets and on statues) at the very essence of your really, really funny joke.....????
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #18 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:40pm
 
Another ripper joke of the day from Neferti:

Quote:
Mixed marriages are still not really accepted. They tend to produce children who are "coloured". That causes problems.


Bloody hilarious, Neferti.  We all enjoy a jolly good laugh.

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Neferti
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #19 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:49pm
 
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« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2014 at 8:36am by Neferti »  
 
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Raven
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #20 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:54pm
 
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:49pm:
You are the one with the Indian Bride and darkie kids and grandkids, not me.

I care less about YOU and YOURS.  You are not my neighbour.  Wink


Is that intended to be an insult because if so that's very bad form.

Insult the person you are arguing with all you want but you lose respect and your arguments lose credibility when you target families of posters
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Quoth the Raven "Nevermore"

Raven would rather ask questions that may never be answered, then accept answers which must never be questioned.
 
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Neferti
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #21 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:02pm
 
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« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2014 at 8:36am by Neferti »  
 
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MumboJumbo
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #22 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:07pm
 
This thread in a nutshell:
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:35pm:
Joke about indians 


Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:58pm:
Makes sarcastic reply


Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:53pm:
Lols about touchiness



Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:58pm:
Slings narky rejoinder


Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:53pm:
Insults Oz's family


Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:40pm:
Ventures once more into the fray


Raven wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:54pm:
Chimes in to stir the pot



Now now children, play nicely

...

Yours truly,

SC
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See Profile For Update wrote on Jan 3rd, 2015 at 2:58pm:
Why the bugger did I get stuck on a planet chalked full of imbeciles?
 
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Neferti
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #23 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:25pm
 
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« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2014 at 8:37am by Neferti »  
 
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MumboJumbo
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #24 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:29pm
 
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:25pm:
For F@uck sake. This thread was all about the JOKE OF THE DAY and had nothing to do with Indians until our resident Indian Taxi Driver took offence because I use the word PAKI ........

NOBODY gives a f@uck what colour you are, UNTIL you ramble on about it on a Forum. Then you deserve whatever flack you get.



And you just became the Troll-bait of the day. Points to Aussie for masterful thread derailment, but N's got a point. Time to return to the topic.
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See Profile For Update wrote on Jan 3rd, 2015 at 2:58pm:
Why the bugger did I get stuck on a planet chalked full of imbeciles?
 
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #25 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:51pm
 
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:25pm:
For F@uck sake. This thread was all about the JOKE OF THE DAY and had nothing to do with Indians until our resident Indian Taxi Driver took offence because I use the word PAKI ........

NOBODY gives a f@uck what colour you are, UNTIL you ramble on about it on a Forum. Then you deserve whatever flack you get.



Sooo......where is the funny bit in your London joke?  Did the word "Paki/Indian" just slip in by accident?  Did you really mean some other race?  I clearly must have misunderstood.  So, Neferti.....yeas, let's get back to your really funny funnies.  Please tell me where the non racist funny joke is to be found?
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MumboJumbo
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #26 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:55pm
 
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:51pm:
Sooo......where is the funny bit in your London joke?  Did the word "Paki/Indian" just slip in by accident?  Did you really mean some other race?  I clearly must have misunderstood.  So, Neferti.....yeas, let's get back to your really funny funnies.  Please tell me where the non racist funny joke is to be found?


...
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See Profile For Update wrote on Jan 3rd, 2015 at 2:58pm:
Why the bugger did I get stuck on a planet chalked full of imbeciles?
 
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #27 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 8:11pm
 
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:51pm:
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 7:25pm:
For F@uck sake. This thread was all about the JOKE OF THE DAY and had nothing to do with Indians until our resident Indian Taxi Driver took offence because I use the word PAKI ........

NOBODY gives a f@uck what colour you are, UNTIL you ramble on about it on a Forum. Then you deserve whatever flack you get.



Sooo......where is the funny bit in your London joke?  Did the word "Paki/Indian" just slip in by accident?  Did you really mean some other race?  I clearly must have misunderstood.  So, Neferti.....yeas, let's get back to your really funny funnies.  Please tell me where the non racist funny joke is to be found?


Soooo....here is the deal Neferti.  Apart from totally incorrect personal stuff you are posting about me......there is a Rule here:

Quote:
Racism
Discussion of racism and race related political issues is encouraged. However, politically correct language should be used when making criticism of racial policies or groups. Racism will be judged in a similar way to pornography – that is, is the criticism necessary to get a point of view across, or is it a gratuitous attack on a racial group? Note that race is treated differently from religion, which is a matter of choice and is open to the same criticism as political ideology.


I'm not prepared to just meekly accept what is prima facie a racist 'joke' ~ and in potentially worse abuse of the Rules here ~ followed up with what you think is personal information about me and my Family.   I'm quite happy for you to tell me where the funny non racist part of the joke is.............but if you don't, I'll formally report it as a complaint.
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MumboJumbo
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #28 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 8:40pm
 
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 8:11pm:
personal information about me and my Family family.

Quote:
This includes the contents of personal messages and emails, photos, names, IP addresses, phone numbers, locations etc.

Which genus does your marital status fall into?

Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 8:11pm:
I'm not prepared to just meekly accept what is prima facie a racist 'joke'

How exciting.
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 8:11pm:
and in potentially worse abuse of the Rules here
ooh, how wicked.

Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 8:11pm:
I'll formally report it as a complaint.


... I'm sure he/she is terrified. Please don't do it, A, don't do it, Noooooooooo!
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See Profile For Update wrote on Jan 3rd, 2015 at 2:58pm:
Why the bugger did I get stuck on a planet chalked full of imbeciles?
 
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Phemanderac
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #29 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 8:42pm
 
Well this is all well and good, but I have to say, I am very disappointed, the bullshit has taken the focus of my sperm bank joke....

That was a cracker and has been trampled all over by a rubbish spat....

Lighten up and have a laugh ffs.

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the bulb, seventy others to fail to notice they're in the dark and to argue about their lack of vision...
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On the 26th of January you are all invited to celebrate little white penal day...

"They're not rules as such, more like guidelines" Pirates of the Caribbean..
 
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