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Joke of the Day (Read 7985 times)
Neferti
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Joke of the Day
Nov 5th, 2014 at 3:04pm
 
The Blue Pigeon

The mayor of London was very worried about a plague of pigeons in the City Centre He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of London was full of pigeon poop, the people of London could not walk on the pavements, or drive on the roads.

It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and pavements clean.

One day a man came to the Town Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.


'I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions.


Or, you can pay me one million pounds to ask one question.'


The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.


The next day the man climbed to the top of the Nelson's Column, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue London sky.


All the pigeons in London saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the bird. The London pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew eastwards out of the city.


The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man on top of Nelson's Column


The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous service to rid London of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million pounds and told the man that indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.


The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.


The mayor asked:

'Do you have a blue Paki ??
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Neferti
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #1 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 3:06pm
 
Condom Use on an Aircraft

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight.

They start eyeing each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing.

He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.

Rear toilet? He suggests.

Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. 

He waits five minutes, then goes and slips in there with her. “Right, get that condom on” she says. 

Soon, they are both sighing with pleasure.

But a sharp eyed stewardess has noticed them, and realized what they are up to. 

So, she humiliates them by making an announcement over the PA system. 

"To the lady and gentleman in the rear toilet, we know what you are doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations.

Now, please put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector."





And what were you thinking?

I worry about you sometimes!



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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #2 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 3:31pm
 
Bloody hell!

Link.
Link.
Link.
Link.

Just to mention a few!
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #3 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 3:34pm
 
I also don't 'get' the blue Paki one.  Can you explain it?

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« Last Edit: Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:22pm by Aussie »  
 
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Phemanderac
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #4 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 3:51pm
 
A quite elderly man enters the sperm bank.

Nurse behind the desk, surprised asks the man why he is there.

"To make a deposit of course..." the old bloke replied.

The nurse gives the man a jar and leads him to a cubicle. She explains to him that he can leave his "deposit" in the jar and to call her when he is done.

Fifteen minutes goes by, the nurse considers checking in, but thinks better of it.

Half an hour goes by and the nurse begins to consider if the old bloke is ok still.

After five more minutes her concern for the old bloke possibly having a heart attack outweighs all other issues.

She goes to his cubicle and calls out that she is checking in on him. As she looks in, he is seated on the bed looking very worried.

He sees her and says, "I just don't get it...."

"I have tried with my right hand...."



"I have tried with my left hand...."


"Hell, I even had a go with both hands for a good few minutes and I still can't get the damned lid of this jar...."
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On the 26th of January you are all invited to celebrate little white penal day...

"They're not rules as such, more like guidelines" Pirates of the Caribbean..
 
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #5 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:23pm
 
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 3:34pm:
I also don't 'get' the blue Paki one.  Can you explain it?



Neferti?
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Redmond Neck
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #6 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:26pm
 
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:23pm:
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 3:34pm:
I also don't 'get' the blue Paki one.  Can you explain it?



Neferti?


Hint Aussie.....Pakis are the guys that come from Pakistan and there are large numbers in London.

I am suprised a legal eagle like yourself couldnt figure that one out!
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BAN ALL THESE ABO SITES RECOGNITIONS.

ALL AUSTRALIA IS FOR ALL AUSTRALIANS!
 
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #7 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:27pm
 
Redmond Neck wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:26pm:
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:23pm:
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 3:34pm:
I also don't 'get' the blue Paki one.  Can you explain it?



Neferti?


Hint Aussie.....Pakis are the guys that come from Pakistan and there are large numbers in London.

I am suprised a legal eagle like yourself couldnt figure that one out!


Oh.....and they sh1t in streets and on statues?  Is that the funny bit?
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Neferti
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #8 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:35pm
 
.
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« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2014 at 8:34am by Neferti »  
 
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Redmond Neck
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #9 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:37pm
 
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:35pm:
If I changed the BRITISH joke to Indians rather than Pakis, would you get it then? Wink


Would that include Cowboys?
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BAN ALL THESE ABO SITES RECOGNITIONS.

ALL AUSTRALIA IS FOR ALL AUSTRALIANS!
 
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Neferti
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #10 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:38pm
 
.
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« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2014 at 8:35am by Neferti »  
 
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #11 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:41pm
 
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:35pm:
If I changed the BRITISH joke to Indians rather than Pakis, would you get it then? Wink 

It is fairly subtle ... you with your so-called inquiring mind might miss the whole point though ...... and argue incessantly for months to come.

Still ..... it WAS a very clever joke.



Oh......hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!  It is the Indians who sh!t in streets and on statues in London!  So.....if the bloke got the Mayor a blue Indian, all the Indians would leave London.  Gee, that is so funny and ever so clevah........really.  I expect nothing but non racist excellence from you Neferti, and you never fail to let me down, not even once.
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« Last Edit: Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:54pm by Aussie »  
 
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Neferti
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #12 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:53pm
 
.
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« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2014 at 8:35am by Neferti »  
 
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Aussie
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #13 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:58pm
 
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:53pm:
Aussie wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:41pm:
Neferti wrote on Nov 5th, 2014 at 5:35pm:
If I changed the BRITISH joke to Indians rather than Pakis, would you get it then? Wink 

It is fairly subtle ... you with your so-called inquiring mind might miss the whole point though ...... and argue incessantly for months to come.

Still ..... it WAS a very clever joke.



Oh......hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!  It is the Indians who sh!t in streets and on statues in London!  So.....if the bloke got the Mayor a blue Indian, all the Indians would leave London.  Gee, that is so funny and ever so clevah........really.  I expect nothing but non racist excellence from you Neferti, and you never fail to let me down, not even once.


You REALLY DO NOT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR, do you. Aussie?


The JOKE had nothing to do with what you perceive to be a "racist" comment.

It is a matter of HOW MANY INDIANS & PAKIS, etc now roam the streets of London. Most of the Poms have now accepted those people as British.  However, the next wave are the MUSLIMS .... perhaps if I had changed the "joke" to Muslim rather than Paki ... you may have been less aggravated and smacking irritating and rude to me.


Ooops.  Did I misunderstand?  Wasn't the funny bit about ridding London of all the resident Indians who are publicly sh1tting all over the place including statues by a really clevah blue Indian?

Which part is the funny part?  The core racism?  Was that the funny bit, Neferti?
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Sprintcyclist
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reply #14 - Nov 5th, 2014 at 6:12pm
 


         ...

poor chooks
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Modern Classic Right Wing
 
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