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The fun-police state (Read 3822 times)
freediver
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The fun-police state
Mar 30th, 2020 at 6:24am
 
The fun-police state

http://www.ozpolitic.com/articles/fun-police-state-coronoavirus.html

I am becoming increasingly concerned that this nation is losing its perspective in the face of the Coronavirus. The PM has unleashed an army of jealous wowsers, curtain twitchers and hall monitors to dictate how their neighbours live. We are banned from heading out and being seen to have fun or do something frivolous. Yet we are literally forced to go out and engage in high risk activities so long as it is our least favourite thing to do.

What does this say about our values? I can understand peopleís fear of Australia turning into another Italy. And just to be clear, I think we should keep the ban on men hugging men when this is all over (unless they want to have sex with each other). Also, wildly gesticulating while you are talking on your mobile phone. You could poke an old ladyís eye out. Pay attention when you gesticulate in public. But we seem to have decided that the virus is Godís retribution on the Italians for the crime of being happy and having more fun than us.


Case in point, children are being forced to attend school until they actually come down with the virus or kill their grandmother, in which case they might be lucky enough to get a rare funeral invite. The apparent reason is that school is both important and urgent, even though the benefit might be more than ten years away. Also, it might stop parents doing something equally miserable - going to work. The real reason is threefold. First, children are less likely to shoot you if you force them to do something they hate (though I acknowledge the land of liberty making inroads here). Second, our country is obsessed with the petty achievements of our children, and this extends way beyond celebrating their first wet dump. We are so obsessed that we are forcing the babysitters at the childcare centres to get a PhD in education so they can invent creative ways to get children to remember things their brains are not yet ready to absorb. We have proof that this Ďworksí, because these kids do better than their less fortunate peers in grade 1, which is some kind of end in itself. We even invented the most absurd, convoluted way of doing long division (a key life skill if ever there was one), so that children can now be better than their parents at something, even if they lack the mental capacity to figure out what half a dozen means without a pen, paper and ten minutes to spare. Donít get distracted, the lesson is not finished yet. Thirdly, there is a good chance they will get bullied at school and have a miserable time. Maybe the little runs will even tease them about their sick grandmother. So sending kids to school is our top priority.

Contrast this to my plight. The Prime Minister appears to have announced that I am not allowed to play tennis or even go fishing. I could be a kilometre offshore, by myself, ten meters underwater, and more likely to get eaten by a shark (by the way, whatís up with all the sharks lately?) than to catch or spread a virus. But someone is going to be pissed off with me for doing the wrong thing. Especially if I catch a big Spanish Mackerel and post a photo on facebook.

Another case in point: We are allowed five people at a wedding and ten at a funeral. This is Australian values distilled down to cold, hard mathematics. But even this understates our wowserness. The minimum requirement for a funeral is 1 person (not counting the guy who fills in the hole afterwards). And this is just a technicality, not a legal requirement. But you actually need 5 people for a legal wedding. One man, one woman (as God/Nature/The Government intended). Two witnesses. And someone official to tell you that you are married. There has never been a legal requirement for witnesses to make sure someone is actually dead before you bury them, which in my opinion is far more important. I now pronounce you legally dead. You may bury the corpse. Please sign here. And you, sign here. Getting back to the maths lesson, you can have ten times the minimum requirement of people at a funeral, but only one times the minimum requirement at a wedding. So thatís actually a 10:1 ratio, not a 2:1 ratio.

I have a better idea. Letís ban funerals altogether. This is not some kind of macabre weekend at Bernieís thing, though the jury is still out on how infectious a corpse is. Think about this: we have a lot of unused ice skating rinks, because ice skating is fun, even solo. In fact it is the most fun of all when you are by yourself, because you arenít going to lose a finger if you end up sprawled on the ice. So letís put the bodies there. Throw a tarp over the top to keep the cold air in. When summer comes around again, or someone invents a vaccine, or everyone has caught the virus, we can thaw them out (or not) and bury them. We could be as collectively miserable as we want. Maybe then we could have a few extra people at weddings.

A lot of us are getting a six month holiday for the first time in our life. Those of us still working are very concerned about this. You are not allowed to enjoy the holiday, because unemployed people are meant to line up at Centrelink and frown (but not scowl in case that intimidates the bureaucrat and he feels bullied). Sneezing is also acceptable, so long as you use your magic elbow to kill the virus.
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freediver
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #1 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 6:25am
 
The Prime Minister has given his wowser army a sneaky trick in the fight against good times. He has granted them unlimited leeway to interpret what a gathering is. So how do you tell if people are gathering illegally? Look deep inside yourself and ask, do I feel jealous? If the answer is yes, it is a gathering. People queuing at Centrelink? Not a gathering. People stuck in traffic? Not a gathering. But how dare you sit on the beach and enjoy the sun and fresh air when you should be sitting in a windowless office next to sneezy George. If I put my camera down at my ankles I can even take a photo of you smiling with at least 100 other people stretched out in the distant background along the white, sandy gathering.
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #2 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 6:33am
 

"Case in point, children are being forced to attend school ..."

Forced?
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #3 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 6:39am
 
Dead right , Scomo could at least offer the cancer cases at Bondi a free seat on cruise ship sun-deck with violin players for the iceberg club.
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #4 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 6:53am
 
Dear FD,
Big Brother loves you very much and
he's only doing what's good for you.
One day you will learn to love Big Brother.

Bobby.
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #5 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 6:59am
 
Quite right freediver

The mediocre man thinks to himself that he is virtuously protecting the 95 year-old in the nursing home
But it is not love of the unfortunate that drives him
It is hatred of the happy and successful

I have to admit that I went fishing yesterday
And you are correct that if pictures had been posted on social media
The mediocre
Jealous scalds would have come out to play

I also did not vote in the council election on Saturday
And I shall not be paying the fine

As Alexander soljenitsin said
It is on each individual in society
To not engage with the tyrannical nature of those who are reprehensible

I really felt I had a moral duty not to vote
I really felt I had a moral duty to take the sun fishing and show him that real Australians do not melt in the face of adversity

To show him that cowering in the corner like a frightened prey animal is never a good idea
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #6 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 7:06am
 
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NorthOfNorth
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #7 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 7:24am
 
freediver wrote on Mar 30th, 2020 at 6:25am:
The Prime Minister has given his wowser army a sneaky trick in the fight against good times. He has granted them unlimited leeway to interpret what a gathering is. So how do you tell if people are gathering illegally? Look deep inside yourself and ask, do I feel jealous? If the answer is yes, it is a gathering. People queuing at Centrelink? Not a gathering. People stuck in traffic? Not a gathering. But how dare you sit on the beach and enjoy the sun and fresh air when you should be sitting in a windowless office next to sneezy George. If I put my camera down at my ankles I can even take a photo of you smiling with at least 100 other people stretched out in the distant background along the white, sandy gathering.

Ahh yes, that old chestnut...

When is a pile a heap? When is a hill a mountain? When does casual sex become a commitment to a monogamous relationship?

And... finally.... how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 

Plato, Plato, wherefore art thou, Plato?
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Gnads
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #8 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 7:28am
 
freediver wrote on Mar 30th, 2020 at 7:06am:


So what your saying is the most populous regions/continents & sub-continents are still breeding like flies as they have always done?

People gathering at a beach in numbers can still be affected by a carrier.

How they arrive at the beach is another concern .... not all would drive their own vehicles.

We were supposed to travel an hour north on Wednesday to babysit our grandkids whilst Dad takes Mum to a medical appointment. Dad is a front line respondent being a copper. We are now staying home as directed.

Everybody should be staying home in an effort to slow or stop this virus spreading.

What I'm critical of Morrison for is for making a set of guidlines for isolation & closures of business then reneging on them because people whinged.

i.e. increasing the time for customers to go to the hairdresser & barber ...... the virus doesn't tell time. And in the current crisis with isolations who gives a phuc what your hair looks like? The fashion parade has been put on hold!

Keeping schools open as baby sitting venues for kids whose both parents work. It has been seen that the virus does attack children & younger adults........ & that all the propaganda that children were safe from it was complete BS.

With all the money being dished out ... instead of doubling the dole for long term unemployed the should be paying one parent to stay at home with the kids.

And with the first near 300 ex cruise ship passengers quarantined to a hotel in Sydney the whinging from them has already started. The idiots need to shut up & get on with it. They can't all be trusted to self isolate... that's already been proven.

There are another 7 cruise ships full of self centred idiots due to dock in Sydney this week.

Imagine all of them being allowed to out into the community & trusted to "go straight home & isolate" for 2 weeks?

These ships have been vectors of infection/disease for ages.

As far as the title of "fun Police State" - what other suggestions do you have for tackling this virus outbreak?

People made sacrifices to liberties during times of war ....... this is just another type of war.

Do your bit & stop whinging about it ....

no one is happy about the restrictions.


https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/coronavirus-arrivals-to...
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« Last Edit: Mar 30th, 2020 at 8:24am by Gnads »  

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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #9 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 7:44am
 
in qld back in the joh days i remember ppl being arrested for illegal gatherings. Actually it was called "conspiracy". If more than 2 ppl stopped to talk in the street it was considered a conspiracy.

Spot
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freediver
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #10 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 7:46am
 
Yes, but Joh knew how to have a good time. I remember riding my horse over the top of a crowd of hippies.
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #11 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 7:58am
 
3 people at the toilet roll shelf gets a $1000 fine.
58 people there is the end.
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #12 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 8:03am
 
freediver wrote on Mar 30th, 2020 at 7:46am:
Yes, but Joh knew how to have a good time. I remember riding my horse over the top of a crowd of hippies.

A winged horse?
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freediver
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #13 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 8:06am
 
They were lying down, like a child throwing a tantrum. Except the screeming was much louder.
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Re: The fun-police state
Reply #14 - Mar 30th, 2020 at 8:10am
 
freediver wrote on Mar 30th, 2020 at 8:06am:
They were lying down, like a child throwing a tantrum. Except the screeming was much louder.

They were lying down, your Honour, like a child throwing a tantrum. Except the screeming was much louder.
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