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does Islam equate sex and rape? (Read 78706 times)
True Colours
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #270 - Sep 3rd, 2013 at 12:34pm
 
freediver wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 12:19pm:
According to Falah Islam rejects modern concepts of love, in particular people falling in love prior to getting married, and supports arranged marriage.




Islam teaches that a marriage should be arranged according to a person's inner qualities. The superficial qualities such as outer beauty are considered to be of secondary importance.

Today in the West, it seems to be the other way round with outer beauty being the primary consideration.

Most people in the English-speaking world today seem to confuse the word 'love' with 'lust'. Their idea of love is often confused with sexual attraction.

In the West, we have ridiculous ideas like 'love at first sight'. True love comes from knowing a person's good character. Liking a person's physical appearance is just an attraction of the person's baser animal instincts.
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polite_gandalf
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #271 - Sep 3rd, 2013 at 1:11pm
 
freediver wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 12:19pm:


So the concept of love in marriage did not even exist before Muhammed?

And husbands and wives did not support each other?

What about all the "slaves that you can have sex with"?


I don't know anything about pre-islamic arabia.

Common sense though dictates that love and mutual affection between a man and a woman is a pretty universal innate characteristic of humans - irrespective of what religion they hold.

It was however fairly standard fair (and again I don't know the specifics of pre-islamic arabian culture) for pre-modern societies to institute laws and social norms that culturalised oppression of women, and reduce them to mere objects to be bartered by their fathers and uncles, and then objects of possession for their (chosen) husband. This effectively barred women from finding their own mate and marrying who they choose based on mutual love. We know this was very common throughout history, across cultures.

Islam undeniably acknowledged this culture and sought to change it - introducing the then radical notion that marriage should a) be based on mutual love and agreement between the husband and wife and b) provide a relationship that gives equal rights and responsibilities on both the husband and wife. However much you and moses attempt to smear islam, it doesn't change the fact that these new notions about marriage (I gave a sample in my last post) were a significant change in culture (in a general sense - again not being an expert on the specifics of arabian culture), and they were introduced by islam.

Quote:
According to Falah Islam rejects modern concepts of love, in particular people falling in love prior to getting married, and supports arranged marriage.


Sounds like a typical stick-in-the-mud with no imagination. Fact: the quran intends marriage for people who are already in love and decide themselves they want to live in marriage. How is that possible if you can only marry someone you don't know, and chosen by your parents? It is completely contradictory.

Of course we reject living together and sharing a bed before marriage - which is probably what he was referring to with "modern concepts of love".
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moses
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #272 - Sep 3rd, 2013 at 2:39pm
 
gandalf wrote:
Quote:
quoting 24:6 without quoting the whole passage 24:6-9 again eh moses.

Is that the definition of dishonesty? I mean its not as if you don't know about 24:8 - I pointed it out to you last time.

Quran on amicability in marriage:

And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best.
4:128

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.
30:21

And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best
16:72

It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her.
7:189

They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.
2:187


Well gandalf I think you will find the above are very common thought processes, between man and woman in marriage across all divides.

I'm more interested in the fact that according to islam women are stupid, are liars, cannot be trusted, are the majority of people in hell, their husbands can beat them etc. How do these equate to a show of love and support?
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Baronvonrort
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #273 - Sep 3rd, 2013 at 4:27pm
 
polite_gandalf wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 1:11pm:
Islam undeniably acknowledged this culture and sought to change it - introducing the then radical notion that marriage should a) be based on mutual love and agreement between the husband and wife and b) provide a relationship that gives equal rights and responsibilities on both the husband and wife.


Islam allows polygamy, secular democracy usually outlaws polygamy.

That should be wives and not wife gandalf, so would that be mutual love between a husband and his 4 wives?

Aisha was Mohammad's favoutite wife, i guess the others were not young enough, i thought wives were supposed to be treated equally so explain to us why Mo had a favourite?

Quote:
The prophet used to visit all his wives in a round, during the day and night and there were eleven in number.
We used to say the prophet was given the strength of 30 men.
www.sunnah.com/bukhari/5/21


So why did Mo have 11 wives when muslim men are only allowed to have 4, the quran tells you to follow the example Mo set so can you have more than 4 wives like Mo did?
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Leftists and the Ayatollahs have a lot in common when it comes to criticism of Islam, they don't tolerate it.
 
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #274 - Sep 3rd, 2013 at 4:36pm
 
True Colours wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 12:34pm:
Islam teaches that a marriage should be arranged according to a person's inner qualities.

In the West, we have ridiculous ideas like 'love at first sight'. True love comes from knowing a person's good character.


Mohammad married a few widowed Jewish women on the same day he attacked their tribes, these women were widows because muslims killed their husbands, the Quran tells you to follow Mohammad's example.

Quote:
The messenger of Allah made a raid upon the Banu Mustaliq while they were unaware and their cattle were having a drink at the water,he killed those who tried to defend themselves and imprisoned others.

On that very day he captured Juwairiya bint al Harith.
www.sunnah.com/muslim/32/1


So what did Mo think of Aisha's character when he married her when she was 6 years old?
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #275 - Sep 3rd, 2013 at 10:11pm
 
Quote:
Common sense though dictates that love and mutual affection between a man and a woman is a pretty universal innate characteristic of humans - irrespective of what religion they hold.


Are you backing away from this claim?

Quote:
Probably not. Hence the whole (new) concept of marriage being about mutual support and love introduced by Muhammad and the quran.


Quote:
Sounds like a typical stick-in-the-mud with no imagination. Fact: the quran intends marriage for people who are already in love and decide themselves they want to live in marriage. How is that possible if you can only marry someone you don't know, and chosen by your parents? It is completely contradictory.


Yes it is, but you are the first muslim to offer me an alternative explanation.

Quote:
Of course we reject living together and sharing a bed before marriage - which is probably what he was referring to with "modern concepts of love".


I'm pretty sure he meant arranged marriage.

Quote:
Islam undeniably acknowledged this culture and sought to change it - introducing the then radical notion that marriage should a) be based on mutual love and agreement between the husband and wife


If it is so undeniable, why do so many Muslims deny it?

Quote:
and b) provide a relationship that gives equal rights and responsibilities on both the husband and wife.


How does your explanation apply to "slaves that you can have sex with"? Aren't they supposed to be treated like wives? How can a slave have equal rights? Your explanation seems completely at odds with slavery, and also with the permissibility of wife beating, and all the other derogatory stuff Islam says about women. In practice Islam seems to not change a thing compared to the "bad old days" you attempt to distinguish it from.

Is there anywhere in the Koran where Muhammed explains that people should not be arranging marriages any more and should let their children fall in love with and marry whoever they choose? Or is this like your claims about spousal rape and rape of sex slaves and women caught in battle - that Islam acknowledged the problem and "undeniably" seeks to change it, without ever actually mentioning it, achieving it or even doing anything about it?

Was Muhammed in love with Aisha when she was six years old? Was she in love with him? Is there any kind of description of the courtship, other than the negotiation Muhammed had with Aisha's father to cancel the contract of sale to another man so Muhammed could get her instead?

Did Muhammed fall in love with the other women he married or took as sex slaves, after chopping their husband's heads off in mass executions? Did they fall in love with him?

OK, maybe I am being a bit harsh. Let's start with something simpler. Seeing as you obviously cannot find a single passage in the Koran that uses the word rape in the context of wives and sex slaves, perhaps you could point out a passage that uses the word love in this context?
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polite_gandalf
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #276 - Sep 4th, 2013 at 12:24pm
 
freediver wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 10:11pm:
Are you backing away from this claim?


not at all.

freediver wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 10:11pm:
If it is so undeniable, why do so many Muslims deny it?


define "so many".

I could equally say "so many" muslims accept it - and it would be just as useful as your claim.

freediver wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 10:11pm:
How does your explanation apply to "slaves that you can have sex with"? Aren't they supposed to be treated like wives? How can a slave have equal rights? Your explanation seems completely at odds with slavery, and also with the permissibility of wife beating, and all the other derogatory stuff Islam says about women. In practice Islam seems to not change a thing compared to the "bad old days" you attempt to distinguish it from.


I don't accept that sex with slaves is permissible - unless you marry them - at which point they stop being slaves.

freediver wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 10:11pm:
Is there anywhere in the Koran where Muhammed explains that people should not be arranging marriages any more and should let their children fall in love with and marry whoever they choose?


Sure - the part(s) that say marriage should be based on mutual love and free choice.

freediver wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 10:11pm:
Or is this like your claims about spousal rape and rape of sex slaves and women caught in battle - that Islam acknowledged the problem and "undeniably" seeks to change it, without ever actually mentioning it, achieving it or even doing anything about it?


And yet it is mentioned. I believe there is about 20 pages worth of discussion on the relevant hadith.

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A resident Islam critic who claims to represent western values said:
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Outlawing the enemy's uniform - hijab, islamic beard - is not depriving one's own people of their freedoms.
 
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #277 - Sep 4th, 2013 at 12:47pm
 
Quote:
Sure - the part(s) that say marriage should be based on mutual love and free choice.


Would you mind quoting it? I don't recall ever seeing the word love used by Muhammed, at least not applied to women. The only "precondition" I have seen applied to Islamic marriage is that the child bride does not openly object to it.

Quote:
I don't accept that sex with slaves is permissible - unless you marry them - at which point they stop being slaves.


Didn't Muhammed have sex with his slaves as well as the dozen or so wives? Are you inventing your own religion?

Quote:
And yet it is mentioned. I believe there is about 20 pages worth of discussion on the relevant hadith.


20 pages of your deflections and pretending not to understand the question. The word rape is never uttered in the context of wives, sex slaves and women caught in battle.
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #278 - Sep 4th, 2013 at 1:29pm
 
freediver wrote on Sep 4th, 2013 at 12:47pm:
Quote:
Sure - the part(s) that say marriage should be based on mutual love and free choice.


Would you mind quoting it? I don't recall ever seeing the word love used by Muhammed, at least not applied to women.




Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner."
- Quran al-Baqarah, v.232


A marriage is considered invalid in Islam if groom and bride do not both consent to it.



"The widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until their order is obtained, and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is obtained."
- Bukhari

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice.
- Abu Dawood

The Quran also mentions the importance of love in marriage:

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect."
the Quran, ar-Rum, v.21



freediver wrote on Sep 4th, 2013 at 12:47pm:
Quote:
I don't accept that sex with slaves is permissible - unless you marry them - at which point they stop being slaves.


Didn't Muhammed have sex with his slaves as well as the dozen or so wives?


The Prophet remained in a monogamous marriage to an older woman for more than a quarter of a century. When she passed away, he married other women - all but one of them were either widows or divorcees. He married women from different tribes and this helped to break down the tribal barriers of the Arabs who had been very divided along tribal lines. THe prophet freed some slave women and then married them. For example, he freed an Israeli princess named Safiyyah, and then gave her the option to marry him. She decided to marry him, and she became one of the great scholars of Islam who was consulted by many people for her opinion and religious verdicts.



freediver wrote on Sep 4th, 2013 at 12:47pm:
Quote:
And yet it is mentioned. I believe there is about 20 pages worth of discussion on the relevant hadith.


20 pages of your deflections and pretending not to understand the question. The word rape is never uttered in the context of wives, sex slaves and women caught in battle.


WHat you seem to ignore or not be able to get through your thick head is that in Islamic law a ruling is general. If there is exemption to a ruling it has to be spelled out.
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #279 - Sep 4th, 2013 at 2:26pm
 
what is the evidence for:

1. muslims being allowed to have sex with their slaves

2. Muhammad having sex with his slaves?

I seem to recall one hadith that said something along the lines of if you really don't think you can resist having sex with your slave, then marry her.

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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #280 - Sep 5th, 2013 at 12:34pm
 
Quote:
A marriage is considered invalid in Islam if groom and bride do not both consent to it.


Consent and love are not the same thing TC. Consent of both parties is what you should require before selling your camel. Only one of the verses you quoted mentions love, and not as a pre-requisite to marriage.

Quote:
He married women from different tribes and this helped to break down the tribal barriers of the Arabs who had been very divided along tribal lines.


I see. So after he finished chopping the heads off 800 Jews, he took the best looking from among the wives as his sex slave as a peace offering to all the headless men?

Quote:
What you seem to ignore or not be able to get through your thick head is that in Islamic law a ruling is general. If there is exemption to a ruling it has to be spelled out.


Of course. I have already conceded that it is a general ban on rape where Islam recognises rape. Are you suggesting you can change Islamic law by altering the meaning of a word?

Quote:
muslims being allowed to have sex with their slaves


Would you like me quoting Muslims saying this?

Quote:
I seem to recall one hadith that said something along the lines of if you really don't think you can resist having sex with your slave, then marry her.


I guess that settles it then. I think you have also quoted verses saying that "slaves you can have sex with" should be treated similarly to wives.
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #281 - Sep 5th, 2013 at 12:55pm
 
Gandalf, would this be a fair description of your position:

Muhammed invented love, but couldn't bring himself to utter the word in case they thought he was acting gay, like Jesus.

Muhammed introduced bold new legislation outlawing spousal rape and the rape of sex slaves and women caught in battle. Again, he didn't tell his followers about it in case they refused to slaughter Jews and Pagans for him - as taking the women home was part of the deal. After Muhammed's 12 wives and many sex slaves, and up to four wives plus sex slaves for other leaders and wealthy men, there were not many women left, so capturing women in battle was a strong incentive to get poor and young Muslims men off to war.

Curiously, Muhammed could not bring himself to utter the word rape either. The one time he did punish someone for rape in the conventional context, he used the word intercourse and gave the same punishment as unlawful intercourse.

Instead of telling Muslims about the ban on rape, Muhammed went for a "phased approach":

Phase 1) Set the ground rules: sex is a man's right. Sex is a woman's obligation. Do not beat your wives "excessively" like you beat your sex slaves, or they will be permitted to beat you in return. Cover them up, and do not leave bruises that will be visible in public. Never ask a man why he beats his wife, as he is obviously a poor communicator.

Phase 2) A 21st century wizard attempts to convince non-Muslims (who have already adopted the standard of their own volition) that Islam has the same standards. After this challenge is completed, move on to the next phase.

Phase 3) Convince Muslims that Islam bans the rape of wives, sex slaves, women caught in battle etc.

Phase 5) Actually change the law and punish rapists.

You may have noticed I left out phase 4. This is not to trick anyone, but an Islamic principle of never presenting information in the obvious order. Phase 4 is the wholesale abandonment of Islamic law by Muslims.

Muhammed also wanted to stop arranged marraiges. Again, he forgot to mention it.

After beheading 800 Jews, Muhammed looked over the women and children who were left behind. He fell madly in love with the best looking one and they lived happily ever after. Their marriage brought peace between Muslims and Jews. Muhammed also fell in love with his neighbour's six year old daughter. She was already betrothed to another man, but Muhammed negotiated the annulment of that contract. The child bride's father also became Muhammed's right hand man.

Everything Muhammed said should be interpreted however you feel like. You may choose between two opposite but non-contradictory principles in making your interpretation:

* Do not forbid what Allah has permitted for you. Everything is legal, unless specifically forbidden.
* Interpret any ruling or precedent in the broadest possible sense, discarding common sense and context. Project 21st century standards and meanings (or whatever standards you think the audience wants to hear) onto events that happened 1400 years ago.
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #282 - Sep 5th, 2013 at 2:58pm
 
freediver wrote on Sep 5th, 2013 at 12:34pm:
Would you like me quoting Muslims saying this?


Yes please  Roll Eyes You give me your paraphrasing of what falah and/or Abu allegedly said - which is almost certainly inaccurate as it usually is - and I'll give you a wide selection of learned muslims' actual quotes arguing why sex with slaves is not allowed - and even that slavery itself is not allowed.

But no, I meant islamic text. There are arguments for and against regarding sex with slaves, but the as far as I can tell, the claim that the prophet had sex with slaves is completely baseless.

freediver wrote on Sep 5th, 2013 at 12:55pm:
Muhammed invented love


I'm sorry you had to waste all that time composing that rather lengthy post. But when it begins with this little gem, why would you expect me to read on?
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A resident Islam critic who claims to represent western values said:
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Outlawing the enemy's uniform - hijab, islamic beard - is not depriving one's own people of their freedoms.
 
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #283 - Sep 6th, 2013 at 8:20am
 
That's not fair Gandalf. I kept reading after you posted this:

polite_gandalf wrote on Sep 3rd, 2013 at 8:35am:
freediver wrote on Sep 2nd, 2013 at 9:47pm:
Do you expect people to believe that Arabs have considered spousal rape and the rape of slaves to be the same as rape in other contexts since before Muhammed's time?


Probably not. Hence the whole (new) concept of marriage being about mutual support and love introduced by Muhammad and the quran.


Muhammed had sex with his slaves, like this one that he took for himself after beheading 800 Jews:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banu_Qurayza

As part of his share of the spoils, Muhammad selected one of the women, Rayhana, for himself and took her as part of his booty.[66] Muhammad offered to free and marry her and according to some sources she accepted his proposal, while according to others she rejected it and remained the Prophet's slave and concubine.
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Re: does Islam equate sex and rape?
Reply #284 - Sep 6th, 2013 at 12:31pm
 
freediver wrote on Sep 6th, 2013 at 8:20am:
That's not fair Gandalf. I kept reading after you posted this:


Yes, and your failure to recognise the difference between the existence of a human instinct, and the ways that culture and institutions in society deal with that instinct - is duly noted.

freediver wrote on Sep 6th, 2013 at 8:20am:
Muhammed had sex with his slaves, like this one that he took for himself after beheading 800 Jews:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banu_Qurayza


Complete rubbish. There is no evidence for such a claim in the article you linked, or anywhere else. If you think I'm wrong, show me the evidence.
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A resident Islam critic who claims to represent western values said:
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Outlawing the enemy's uniform - hijab, islamic beard - is not depriving one's own people of their freedoms.
 
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