mothra wrote on Dec 26^th, 2015 at 2:07pm:


Ah I see.  The CSA will be after his sorry arse, and so, via that authority, she is leeching into his wallet.

Don't misunderstand me.  The kids ought not suffer any more than is inevitable when the parents split.

And well done Neferti. I'm sorry that you lived through that but you clearly are a success story. What you and your daughter have is irreplaceable.

MY abusive husband, who I walked out on in December 1980, at least paid his child support ... until she was 16, then it automatically stopped. He used a Bank transfer thing which automatically transferred the agreed amount in to my A/c from his A/c on the 1st of each month. It wasn't much and I doubt he missed it. It remained the same amount for 10+ years. I actually didn't "use" it until it built up enough to pay the car Rego or something.

I cut all ties with him and the only thing I demanded was SOLE Custody of our daughter, who has 5 at the time, since I had settled in Canberra when he was in Sydney .... distance, so that he couldn't come banging on my door whenever he wanted to, to abuse me. He was encouraged to have his visiting rights (every long weekend and half school holidays) but he never took that up.  He never sent our daughter a birthday card or a present.  He visited us once, at Easter in 1981.  I used to ring him, initially, to let him know how our daughter was doing at school, etc. However, he cared less. It was NOT his daughter he wanted but Control of ME.

ALL I took was our clothes and the $300 I had saved up (surreptitiously) out of Housekeeping over several months while he was overseas on business.  I could have taken ALL he had but I am not like that. I did see a Sydney Divorce Lawyer (female) (before I left) who advised me that I could "get everything".  THAT is not my style.

What I own now is ALL ABOUT ME being a strong female who can look after herself without ripping off an ex-husband to get a leg-up in life. I came here with NOTHING.  I have never had any desire, whatsoever, to get married again.

So, Herbie, I didn't NAG him ... he nagged me and put me down and if I didn't agree, I got a backhander.  One reason I left was because I was getting so that I was about to "kill" the bastard the next time he hit me. Then what would have happened to my little girl?  I walked and glad I did.

mothra wrote on Dec 26^th, 2015 at 2:08pm:


Thank you, Mothra.

I have mentioned all this before in a previous DV thread. However, I do understand, very well, why women remain in DV situations.

It begins with "verbal" ... you are just like your f***ing mother ... to being put down for whatever reason ... then,  the slap. Then you, fight back. I know I did. However, I come from a long line of Strong Women and I am nobody's slave.

I had put up with verbal abuse for years (I stopped work when I got pregnant) and he was a very good provider, we didn't lack anything.  I actually controlled the MONEY ... his salary went into  a joint account and I wrote the cheques.  I could have ripped him off, but that is NOT my style. In the last few months before I left ... I drew the usual amount for Housekeeping, each week, but put away $50 or so for ME. My Mother had told me to "have a joint account but ALSO have a savings account.  The amounts might sound pathetic but this was 1980 ........ a fully furnished (with TV) 3 b-room house in Weetangera, ACT was only $60 a week. An unfurnished flat was $120 in Sydney.  I did do some "research" before I drove down to Melbourne for Christmas and I told him to come down later. Sneaky, I know, BUT had I told him I was leaving, I doubt I would be still alive.

Aussie wrote on Dec 26^th, 2015 at 3:02pm:


A Piscean with a Sagittarius rising will do a Gemini EVERY time. 

In other words, what the f**k are you on about this time Mr trolling Arsie?

Neferti wrote on Dec 26^th, 2015 at 3:11pm:


Seeing as how you asked.  How about you tell everyone about the lawyer who was your ex and the daughter who became an ophthalmologist?  They were cool stories, (all told here by yourself) as well 'bro.' 

Oooops....I was so, so wrong.  Sorry Neferti.  I forgot.  You were the ophthalmologist.  Your daughter is a medical specialist.  Pediatrician.  Abject apologies.

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