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Neferti
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MY abusive husband, who I walked out on in December 1980, at least paid his child support ... until she was 16, then it automatically stopped. He used a Bank transfer thing which automatically transferred the agreed amount in to my A/c from his A/c on the 1st of each month. It wasn't much and I doubt he missed it. It remained the same amount for 10+ years. I actually didn't "use" it until it built up enough to pay the car Rego or something.
I cut all ties with him and the only thing I demanded was SOLE Custody of our daughter, who has 5 at the time, since I had settled in Canberra when he was in Sydney .... distance, so that he couldn't come banging on my door whenever he wanted to, to abuse me. He was encouraged to have his visiting rights (every long weekend and half school holidays) but he never took that up. He never sent our daughter a birthday card or a present. He visited us once, at Easter in 1981. I used to ring him, initially, to let him know how our daughter was doing at school, etc. However, he cared less. It was NOT his daughter he wanted but Control of ME.
ALL I took was our clothes and the $300 I had saved up (surreptitiously) out of Housekeeping over several months while he was overseas on business. I could have taken ALL he had but I am not like that. I did see a Sydney Divorce Lawyer (female) (before I left) who advised me that I could "get everything". THAT is not my style.
What I own now is ALL ABOUT ME being a strong female who can look after herself without ripping off an ex-husband to get a leg-up in life. I came here with NOTHING. I have never had any desire, whatsoever, to get married again.
So, Herbie, I didn't NAG him ... he nagged me and put me down and if I didn't agree, I got a backhander. One reason I left was because I was getting so that I was about to "kill" the bastard the next time he hit me. Then what would have happened to my little girl? I walked and glad I did.
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