austranger
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Kytro wrote on Jun 27 th, 2014 at 12:36pm: austranger wrote on Jun 27 th, 2014 at 11:45am: Excremental Religion:
A slightly more expanded version (including some other ideas): - Taoism: sh!t happens.
- Confucianism: Confucius say, "sh!t happens."
- Buddhism: If sh!t happens, it isn't really sh!t.
- Zen Buddhism: sh!t is, and is not.
- Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of sh!t happening?
- Hinduism: This sh!t has happened before.
- Islam: If sh!t happens, it is the will of Allah.
- Islam #2: If sh!t happens, kill the person responsible.
- Islam #3: If sh!t happens, blame Israel.
- Catholicism: If sh!t happens, you deserve it.
- Protestantism: Let sh!t happen to someone else.
- Presbyterian: This sh!t was bound to happen.
- Episcopalian: It's not so bad if sh!t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
- Methodist: It's not so bad if sh!t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
- Congregationalist: sh!t that happens to one person is just as good as sh!t that happens to another.
- Unitarian: sh!t that happens to one person is just as bad as sh!t that happens to another.
- Lutheran: If sh!t happens, don't talk about it.
- Fundamentalism: If sh!t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
- Fundamentalism #2: If sh!t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
- Fundamentalism #3: sh!t must be born again.
- Judaism: Why does this sh!t always happen to us?
- Calvinism: sh!t happens because you don't work.
- Seventh Day Adventism: No sh!t shall happen on Saturday.
- Creationism: God made all sh!t.
- Secular Humanism: sh!t evolves.
- Christian Science: When sh!t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
- Christian Science #2: sh!t happening is all in your mind.
- Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this sh!t.
- Quakers: Let us not fight over this sh!t.
- Utopianism: This sh!t does not stink.
- Darwinism: This sh!t was once food.
- Capitalism: That's MY sh!t.
- Communism: It's everybody's sh!t.
- Feminism: Men are sh!t.
- Chauvinism: We may be sh!t, but you can't live without us...
- Commercialism: Let's package this sh!t.
- Impressionism: From a distance, sh!t looks like a garden.
- Idolism: Let's bronze this sh!t.
- Existentialism: sh!t doesn't happen; sh!t IS.
- Existentialism #2: What is sh!t, anyway?
- Stoicism: This sh!t is good for me.
- Hedonism: There is nothing like a good sh!t happening!
- Mormonism: God sent us this sh!t.
- Mormonism #2: This sh!t is going to happen again.
- Wiccan: An it harm none, let sh!t happen.
- Scientology: If sh!t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
- Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< sh!t happens.
- Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our sh!t?
- Jehovah's Witnesses #3: sh!t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
- Moonies: Only really happy sh!t happens.
- Hare Krishna: sh!t happens, rama rama.
- Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this sh!t!
- Zoroastrianism: sh!t happens half on the time.
- Church of SubGenius: BoB runs.
- Practical: Deal with sh!t one day at a time.
- Agnostic: sh!t might have happened; then again, maybe not.
- Agnostic #2: Did someone sh!t?
- Agnostic #3: What is this sh!t?
- Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
- Atheism: What sh!t?
- Atheism #2: I can't believe this sh!t!
- Nihilism: No sh!t.
- Narcisism: I am the sh!t!
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