Sprintcyclist wrote on Jul 5
th, 2007 at 9:26pm:
Freediver, as far as I am aware it was in Aussie, I could be wrong.
oceans, I put that posting in to show that marriage is somewhat different than a social contract.
It is a very official document. A marriage document can be proof for all sorts of things.
The possibilities you outlined are why marriage for me the 2nd time is so much harder than the 1st.
A guy at work agreed with me too. hes's been married twice.
If your marriage is not legally binding it is not a marriage.
I look at my 1st marriage as being a 14 year success, or a successful 23 year relationship.
If it was a failure, what/when would it have been a success?
What is your pass mark ?
my pass mark is that the couple involved do not expect their mate to conform to or oppress theyre true natures,loves and beliefs to conform to the will of the other. But this rarely happens. We fall in love with someone and the minute we have thenm its presto chango.
This is dishonest and deceitful and totally unfair to the partner who thought he/she was being loved for themselves, the living a lie starts right here.
Marriage Im afraid is about oppressing ones true self to conform to or please your partner..to say this is not true is living to an non existamt ideal or we/you are not basing your expectataions in reality.
We show the best of ourselves until the 'CONTRACT' is signed and then out come the claws.
I shudder at the deceit and ill intent inherent in these pple.
The only way we can escape this is to leave out the legal bit. Because the contract is what does the damage..'AHA I have you now..you will fall into line or suffer the consequences and this could mean quite a hefty settlement to a wife/ husband who has not contributed.,or snatching away the kids..the worst kind of betrayal.
"The moment we got married he/she changed".how many times have we heard that?
Motives for marriage are rarely revealed until after. Legal contractual agreenments in marriage take away from the spirit of what marriage is supposed to be about, love and lifelong caring with ones soulmate.