I can nev er forget that SBS program on 'domestic violence' - during which some poor bloke who did not come from an abusive background and was essentially non-violent - had a wife who did come from such a background, and she picked fights all the time (learned behaviour and expectation of the same violent response) until the husband responded in some way - at which point he got all the blame.
You see one hell of a lot of that - any man who has lived with a woman who 'feels' oppressed etc or who has had a harsh background, can tell you she causes all or most of the problems - and he wears it over and over. Even cops these days are on to that one - pretty much - though some retain the same old prejudices and utter willingness to bash an undefending man to make themselves feel superior somehow. In NSW the police force steadily weeded those out, but some still manage to sneak through, often imagining that a job in the country is somehow more than a phone call away from HQ.
Glen Innes was cleared out of a nest of such rogue cops, starting with the sergeant who ran the place - who was replaced by an educated and fair-minded commissioned Superintendent.
Anyway - my advice to all young men is to avoid such women - you will NEVER alter or 'heal' their damaged psyches, not matter how meaningful and decent you are.... and they will bring you down.
That is one clear reason why so many young men simply avoid entanglements these days.... at the first sign of imbalance they are off like a shot from a gun... and good on them. Imagine wasting your life's work on such beings - as I did......
The oddest thing about such women can be - not always - is that they (and many embattled men) actually take on the characteristics of their own 'oppressor' - even to timbre of voice.... it's like they are possessed by the spirit of the often now-deceased 'oppressor' parent or whatever - the Eld Gel here - the ex for whom I am carer now - when entering her self-created combats with me - actually lowers the timbre of her voice about two octaves!!!
She is unconsciously imitating HER 'oppressor' - her father the violent and abusive town drunk. I, coming from a hugely abusive background myself - have seen my own brother take on the same characteristics - even using the same phrases with his kids and others - that our hugely abusive drunk 'father' used, PLUS certain behaviours and manners of speech from our own equally insane 'mother'. His kids are all damaged in some ways... they have told me some of it and how they loved the short times they spent with me and my kid's mother at my farm.... but they reach a point where they just shut off.... can't take any more..... my kids and grand-kids, by contrast, are pretty balanced, smart and getting on well in the world without all that trouble.
It breaks my heart to see this with children - and when I view such things as Alice Springs and what I can clearly see is behind all that - it can move me to tears, so I avoid news of it unless researching to wake youse dopes up a little.
This is walking a tight rope every day of your life for any sane person.... watching yourself for any sign of falling into that abyss... becoming the monster you chose years ago to avoid ever being. Even harder when you need to watch your 'partner' at the same time for the same things. No wonder I often go to bed at night locked up rock hard in tension.
I'd far rather be with Clancy out there on the Overflow.... or somewhere deep in the country on my own..... or just once, in this old lifetime, with a decent woman with whom - as Billy Joel said - I can just talk and be comfortable.... not all passion is spent when you age... but you appreciate the better things more.
Adios -
**puts roadside rock aside, checks fire, and turns in for the night - fireside chat finished for now**