Karoline Leavitt Prepared For Motherhood After Spending Last Two Years Answering Millions Of Stupid Questions
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has announced that she will be leaving her post in order to be a full-time mom, having prepared herself over the past two years by answering millions of dumb questions.
Family experts predict the transition will be seamless as Leavitt goes from answering ignorant unnecessary questions all day to answering ignorant, unnecessary questions all day.
Karoline will hardly notice a difference," said family friend Janice Wilkerson. "All the shouting over one another, nonsensical statements, the constant stream of inane queries. Being a toddler mom will be just like any other day. Except, I suppose with a bit more vomit. There will be more of that."
Leavitt stated that in just her first day as a full-time mom, she was amazed at how her last two years of training kicked in. "Almost immediately, I was called upon to explain an incredibly simple concept over and over and over," reported Leavitt. "I could not have been more ready. I was able to keep at it, smiling the entire time, never changing my cheerful demeanor. It's been a very smooth shift."
At publishing time, Leavitt experienced déjà vu after listening both of her kids screaming whilst throwing simultaneous tantrums. Whoopsadaisy. The old boy just said it.
Ah.
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