Frank wrote on May 4
th, 2026 at 11:12am:
U.S. — The growing rift between the political right and left in the country became even more evident this week, as a new poll showed that a majority of Democrats believe the Lincoln assassination was staged.
Though long held to be a historical fact, a plurality of Democratic voters went on record in a research study to confirm that they now suspect that President Abraham Lincoln was never actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, and that the entire incident was simply an elaborate hoax.
"That whole situation was suspicious," lifelong Democrat Dean Stinson posted on social media. "Sure, the government and the educational system want you to believe that President Lincoln was shot by John Wilkes Booth at Ford's Theater, but let's be honest here, things don't add up. First of all, do you know what John Wilkes Booth did for a living? That's right — he was an actor. Actors literally spend their time playing roles and pretending. Sounds like just the guy you'd want to pull off a staged assassination, am I right?"
A majority of those who participated in the poll agreed. "It all just worked out a little too perfectly, didn't it?" said Andrew Huff, another Democrat. "You mean to tell me Booth supposedly shot Lincoln, stabbed another guy, jumped out of the theater box, ‘broke his leg,' and still managed to get away and hide for 12 days before he was captured? Please. Something doesn't seem right. The vibes aren't vibing. My gut tells me this has been a conspiracy all along."
At publishing time, a follow-up poll also indicated that a majority of Democrats believe former President John F. Kennedy is likely alive today and living somewhere in the Florida Keys.
No, the rift between the political right and left in the country is being bridged by
you-know-who.
Trump achieved majority disapproval on his management of every issue measured, including Americans disapproved of his handling of that war by 66% to 32%, while a staggering 76% disapproved and only 23% approved of his handling of the cost of living. Two-thirds of Americans now feel the country is headed in the wrong direction.
The poll found Trump’s overall approval now stands at 37%, which isn’t much movement from 39% in February. But his disapproval rose to 62%, a record high across his two terms in office.
Predictably, among the Republican party faithful, Trump’s approval held steady at 85%, buoying his overall rating. But the share of Republicans who strongly approve of Trump has dropped, with 45% saying they strongly approve, down from 53%. And his ratings among Republican-leaning independents reached a new low of 56%.
Among independents overall, he lost ground, with his approval rating slipping to 25%.How about that, eh? DL's gone from his appearances on the Nelk Boys and handing out empty paper bags at Maccas to tariffing penguins, demanding Greenland, starting endless wars and bringing on the biggest stagflation crisis since covid.
Just think, all those disgruntled voters that chucked him out in 2020 are lining up with their baseball bats to do it in the mid-terms. Your DL's going to lose the House, the Senate and the Supreme Court's already gone. After November, he'll be completely defanged, with any prospect of a Republican candidate running in 2028,
doomed.
He'll face investigations, impeachments and indictments. From January 2027, your DL will be just another bare bot in the showers. And from that point on, he won't even be your DL anymore.
After all, you'll disapprove too. You just won't be able to say it. You'll be stuttering away with your Flacid Pakis, your Repulsive Creeps and your so Not Satires, but you'll want to see the back of him too.
How could you not? It's hardly worth a new endless war and a global recession to cheer on a handful of tinted deportations, now is it? You and your ilk are feeling it already.
How does it feeeeeeel?
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