Tucker Carlson
Megyn Kelly
Dave Smith
Joe Rogan
Piers Morgan
Alex Jones
Nick Fuentes
Candice Owens
Some are calling for the 25th, others want impeachment, if not assassination. All are hissing, frothing and nashing away, copping the clicks, counting the eyeballs and raking in the rev, but do you know?
Not one of them has fessed up and said sorry, smarties, you warned us all along. If it wasn't for us, he wouldn't be there in the first place. We'd have a normal American prez, a fabbo economy and a fun, happy country everybody wants to come to.
In fact, America would still be number one, a respectable global hegemon, everybody's friend and ally. But no, thanks to them, Americans voted for a genocidal maniac - a DL who swears on Easter Sunday, in all-caps, threatening crimes against humanity.
I don't know about you, leftards, but there's no coming back from this one. Not even a sanctimonious lecture on Christian virtues by Tucker, or a handwringing man-splain by Joe Rogan, not even Alex Jones crying in his car.
Not even Piers, giving up his phony both-sides schtick for a minute to lay down the facts and set the record straight. We haven't seen Piers this energised since Harry and Megan went on Oprah.
Betrayal, it would seem, releases a powerful primal instinct, one that invokes clarity and anger in equal measure. They've repressed the cognitive dissonance for so long, it is now being released as catharsis. But unlike the mindless hysteria that brought the cult into existence in the first place - the xenophobia, the political hatred and violence, the attacks on factchecked media, the rule of law and, on Jan 6, the political system itself - we're seeing a strange return to reason.
Those who deliberately deceived their audiences to vote for DL are now returning to reality with a vengeance, one arguably stronger than the grift that drove them in the first place.
Sure, it is hard to imagine someone like Tucker, the guy who sold us the merits of Putin's Russia and the economic benefits of authoritarianism, suddenly coming clean. Or Marjorie Taylor Greene, who pushed secret, Rothschild-funded space lasers starting Californian wildfires, telling it like it is.
The one thing that united all these disparate voices was DL. In layman's terms, that means ambition. Alone, Trump stands for nothing. There's no consistent message or ideology, other than being a complete and utter bastard.
That explains how the Bible belt could come on board so easily. For shape-shifting preppies like Tucker, however, it required a little contortion. It wasn't easy, he explained, apologising for some of his histrionic behaviour behind the scenes at Fox. He hated DL with a passion, he said. How would you feel if you had to go on air five nights a week and lie?
For Marjorie, it was a little more complicated. Marjorie was pure of heart, but driven with a vengeance. She wanted the cabal of kiddie fiddlers at the centre of global power rounded up, arrested and executed. Marjorie's priority was taking down Hunter Biden.
Then there's the True Believers, self-confessed Nazis like Nick Fuentes. Nick rallied the far-right extremists, the skinheads, Aryan Nation affiliates and would-be members of the KKK. We say would-be, because most of them were gamers who never left the house. None of them had ever voted before. Nick brought them all over to Trump.
Nick was introduced to Trump by Kanye West, a black singer/songwriter. Like Nick, Ye thinks Hitler was cool too. A black Nazi?
Sure. Ye, being in showbiz and everything, hates Jews. He gave up his surname West, describing it as a "slave name". Ye helped bring the black anti-Semites over to Trump, the same candidate who took $280 mil from the Zionist megadonor, Miriam Adelson. So no, of course it doesn't make any sense, it just happens to be true.
The anti-Semitic influencer Candice Owens also swallowed her "principles" to back DL. There's no way she could endorse a politician like Karmala Harris, she said, it wouldn't be right. If there's one thing black Nazis hate more than Jews, it's black politicians.
As you can see, the MAGA fault-lines and grievances had to come to a head eventually, but the one thing they all counted on was this: they all thought DL would do absolutely nothing, just like his first term.
Yes, despite DL saying he'd do lots of brave, bold things like destroy the US government, hand out cash to himself and his friends the billionaires, kill illegals, deport US citizens, start lots of new endless wars, tariff the entire world and be a dictator on day one, nobody thought he'd actually do it.
Shurely shome mishtake, eh? Deep down, I'm sure they feel really bad.
You?