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Dad Jokes (Read 4080 times)
Gordon
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #15 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:11am
 
What language does a Jewish Samoan speak?
He Bru
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IBI
 
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Gnads
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #16 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:29am
 
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again.
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"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." ~ Ricky Gervais
 
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Gnads
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #17 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:30am
 
"My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, 'How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?' He winked at me and said, 'I'm off duty in ten minutes — meet me in the car park.'
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"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." ~ Ricky Gervais
 
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Gnads
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #18 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:32am
 
"I asked my wife 'So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty?' And you know what she said? 'Please for the love of God, could you stop wearing my bras!'"
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"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." ~ Ricky Gervais
 
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Gnads
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #19 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:33am
 
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
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"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." ~ Ricky Gervais
 
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Jovial Monk
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #20 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:33am
 
LOL!
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Get the vaxx! 💉💉

If you don’t like abortions ignore them like you do school shootings.
 
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Gnads
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #21 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:34am
 
"Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...you need to let that mango."
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"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." ~ Ricky Gervais
 
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philperth2010
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #22 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:43am
 
It was show and tell day at the local Primary School.
The teacher asks the class if they have anything to share.
Little Johnny shoots his hand up "I have a good story to tell teacher".
The teacher asked Johnny to share his story with the class.
"Well on the way to school today I saw a flat dog".
"That's terrible Little Johnny" exclaimed the teacher.
"It's all right there is a happy ending" replied Johnny.
"Another dog was pumping it up".

Wink Wink Wink

Credit to Gary Shannon 96fm.
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If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)
 
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Agnes.
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #23 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 7:48pm
 
philperth2010 wrote on Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:43am:
It was show and tell day at the local Primary School.
The teacher asks the class if they have anything to share.
Little Johnny shoots his hand up "I have a good story to tell teacher".
The teacher asked Johnny to share his story with the class.
"Well on the way to school today I saw a flat dog".
"That's terrible Little Johnny" exclaimed the teacher.
"It's all right there is a happy ending" replied Johnny.
"Another dog was pumping it up".

Wink Wink Wink

Credit to Gary Shannon 96fm.

Cheesy Cheesy Grin Grin Grin9
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Why Johnny Ringo, you look like someone just walked over your grave ~
 
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Agnes.
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #24 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 7:50pm
 
Gnads wrote on Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:33am:
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"


Grin Grin Grin
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Why Johnny Ringo, you look like someone just walked over your grave ~
 
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Jasin
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #25 - Nov 25th, 2023 at 8:04pm
 
Son: "Dad."
Father: "Yes son?"
Son: "I'm Gay."
Father: "That's ok son. We all make mistakes."
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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.
 
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Gnads
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #26 - Nov 26th, 2023 at 12:27pm
 
Grin
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Picture0023.jpg (55 KB | 10 )
Picture0023.jpg

"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." ~ Ricky Gervais
 
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Gnads
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #27 - Nov 26th, 2023 at 12:38pm
 
Grin Grin
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Picture0024.jpg

"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." ~ Ricky Gervais
 
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philperth2010
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #28 - Nov 26th, 2023 at 4:02pm
 
A bloke is standing at the bar when the bartender asks him what he would like.
The bloke replies "I can't find my glasses"?
The bartender replies "Have you ever thought about contact lenses"?
The bloke replies "Na mate, they don't hold enough beer".

Wink Wink Wink
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If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)
 
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Super Nova
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Re: Dad Jokes
Reply #29 - Nov 26th, 2023 at 5:32pm
 
What do you call a dog with a hair lip?

Mark
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