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cods

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any advice..
Apr 29^th, 2017 at 10:59am

not sure what agnes will think I am bringing this personal problem I have to the tavern as I am not sure anyone give a poo on the rest of the forum.. so prefer to stick close to people who at least I feel have some empathy for myself.. without accusing me of being a VICTIM...

here goes..

I am looking for advice on how to deal with PAYBACK..oh if only I meant money.

I have terribkle situation in my family right now and one is paying back the other by doing some very unkind ... what I consider to be awful things..

I am doing my best to pour oil on troubled waters but not getting very far with the person whos dishing it out....she has now blocked said person on f.book...

it is now getting so out of control I am beginning to lose it...I am beyond sad over this... never ever thought one of mine would go to these lengths....

I can talk to one side but not the other she seems to have shut us all out...

any ideas she has two small boys so no chance of me going over and banging the door down....[lease do n ot discuss this anywhere else.. thank you..

agnes disappear this if you are unhappy with it..

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Redmond Neck

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Re: any advice..
Reply #1 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 11:37am

Mmm not sure if there is any easy way out of it.

My sisters family has a similar problem , large family but one of the daughter in laws hates another DIL's guts.

They even had a large family wedding recently where the son (long time separated from the hated one but still on good terms) was the only member of the main family not invited. Really nice gentle sort of bloke who I am sure would have really been disappointed at being left out.

Can you believe it!

People are crazy!

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« Last Edit: Apr 29^th, 2017 at 11:57am by Redmond Neck »

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Bobby. Gold Member Online Australian Politics Posts: 118441 Melbourne Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #2 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 11:49am Cods, give Mick Gatto a call:
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Alinta

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Re: any advice..
Reply #3 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 12:14pm

Bobby. wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 11:49am:

Cods,
give Mick Gatto a call:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/5224880-3x2-340x227.jpg

http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2009/10/11/1225785/472736-mick-gatto.jpg

I hadn't thought of Mick, but certainly along the lines of counselling/ mediation Cods. The parties may not agree to it, but at the very least, you could seek advice on how best you might influence a positive outcome.

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Bobby. Gold Member Online Australian Politics Posts: 118441 Melbourne Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #4 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 12:45pm Mick Gatto can solve any problem for a fee.
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Agnes

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Re: any advice..
Reply #5 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 12:46pm

I have battled a smiliar things cods..between my sisters. I can only go from my own experience and it was terrible, isolating and I think, cruel.. there was nothing I could do..so I did the only thing I could do..try to ignore. It is obvious that the one causing the unrest feels aggrieved, unloved, jealous etc..so you wont take that away by trying to reason with an angry person intent on getting even..just leave her be and in time she will calm down.

Just concentrate on the one who is taking all the aggro..talk to her support her..be there, call her...but most of all take care of yourself in all this, it can take its toll on you. You wont get her to counselling, she is too angry. In time you might.

Time will sort this... time and taking a few very deep breaths..and ignoring the antagonist. She is hurt and most likely needs a good cry..to release all the tension

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« Last Edit: Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:17pm by Agnes »

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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: any advice.. Reply #6 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:06pm Bobby. wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 12:45pm: Mick Gatto can solve any problem for a fee. bobby I would have posted this in the main forum if I wanted that advice....sorry I am not in the mood for wise cracks.
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Redmond Neck Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 23137 ACT Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #7 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:07pm No disrespect to you girls, but I think this sort of behaviour is more a womans thing than a mans. Men might have a bit of a blue but they don't tend to go on with it with this sort of childish stuff. They may just ignore each other for a bit and then move on!
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Agnes

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Re: any advice..
Reply #8 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:14pm

Redmond Neck wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:07pm:

No disrespect to you girls, but I think this sort of behaviour is more a womans thing than a mans.

Men might have a bit of a blue but they don't tend to go on with it with this sort of childish stuff.

They may just ignore each other for a bit and then move on!

that is not all men btw..what about you know who..A?

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x=^..^= x <o((((>< ~~~ x=^..^=x~~~x=^..^=x<o((((><~~~x=^..^=x

farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic

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Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: any advice.. Reply #9 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:15pm Bobby. wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 11:49am: Cods, give Mick Gatto a call: http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/5224880-3x2-340x227.jpg http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2009/10/11/1225785/472736-mick-gatto.jpg not helpful Bobby..
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cods

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Re: any advice..
Reply #10 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:22pm

my daughter the one doing all the pay back is in dire straights at this time...her marriage is borderline breaking down...she is extremely hurt and reacting as I think most hurt women react...it is now rumbling down onto to everyone...I can only think some of us born without a conscience or for that matter even dignity as what they do does themselves no favors at all...she has now blocked her sister on facebook...I dont even know if shes done the same to me I am afraid to check....I cant believe she is doing this to her good name....we can move on from these insults but we dont forget them....I have been to see daughter who is on the receiving end and she is doing quite well under the circumstances .. I explained to her there is not a thing anyone can do with someone who is so into her pain I can only guess she wants to make the pain worse....why else would you make such a bitch of yourself...

as you said Red just because you fall out with one partner... why lash out at the other what do they get out of it..

similar thing happening at home in family England..Mother and eldest daughter fight.. mother throws daughter out of home...and then turns younger daughter against her sister.

everyone in the family is so scared of the Mother they all in turn ignore the oldest daughter...

my daughter was over there late last year for a family gathering... and tried to get help the situation by telling the daughter to show up at the party...which she planned to do...when mother found out she went balistic...since then she has abused the hell out of my daughter and blocked her also from FB....all m y daughter wanted to do was help mum and daughter be friends.....but... the mother didnt want to know... so at least we know why everyone is scared of her... Sad

I am truly amazed at how many families are fractured today... I only have 3 and they have 2 each. so we are a pretty small group....I just feel the longer it goes on the the worse it will get....at the moment said daughter is in counselling....but god only knows what good that is doing.

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Redmond Neck

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Re: any advice..
Reply #11 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:22pm

Agnes wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:14pm:

Redmond Neck wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:07pm:

No disrespect to you girls, but I think this sort of behaviour is more a womans thing than a mans.

Men might have a bit of a blue but they don't tend to go on with it with this sort of childish stuff.

They may just ignore each other for a bit and then move on!

that is not all men btw..what about you know who..A?

There is always an exception to every rule you reckon! Grin

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cods

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Re: any advice..
Reply #12 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:25pm

Redmond Neck wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:07pm:

No disrespect to you girls, but I think this sort of behaviour is more a womans thing than a mans.

Men might have a bit of a blue but they don't tend to go on with it with this sort of childish stuff.

They may just ignore each other for a bit and then move on!

oh i agree women are unforgiving and in this case appears to not even want to be moving on......

in fact her husband told us he cant even mention moving on without it causing all hell to brake loose...

in this case she is dishing out so much punishment
to say its left me in shock is putting it mildly..

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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: any advice.. Reply #13 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:27pm please guys dont mention that person in this thread I have had what I believe to be a rather mean PM this morning regarding said person...[who wasnt named btw]. but it was about ykh....so please I am in enough of a bad way.. thanks guys...
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Bobby. Gold Member Online Australian Politics Posts: 118441 Melbourne Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #14 - Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:28pm cods wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 1:06pm: Bobby. wrote on Apr 29^th, 2017 at 12:45pm: Mick Gatto can solve any problem for a fee. bobby I would have posted this in the main forum if I wanted that advice....sorry I am not in the mood for wise cracks. Sorry if the truth hurts.
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