Australian Politics Forum

Jovial Monk Gold Member Offline Dogs not cats! Posts: 51474 Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #30 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 11:05am Yup, communication about neutral subjects is fine, says “we are here for you when you are ready.” Trying to talk about what is troubling her will just get the daughter to clam up.
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cods

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Re: any advice..
Reply #31 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 11:09am

the daughter being punished adores her nephews and likewise they adore her....so far it hasnt come to that.. but after blocking her on f.b.. I am wondering whats next...where do we go from here.......

being only 4 of us after their dad died I guess I have been like a mother duck keeping her brood together...and to have this split at this stage of their lives.. is hard to believe....but I will do my best I have been doing what angry daughter wants and butting out....but when I see her heading down this route I dont know??...as I said she is drinking each night and we know from experience she gets really nasty when she has had two or three......

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Jovial Monk Gold Member Offline Dogs not cats! Posts: 51474 Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #32 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 11:30am You can’t help her until she wants to be helped.
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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: any advice.. Reply #33 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 11:34am Jovial Monk wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 11:30am: You can’t help her until she wants to be helped. exactly.. I was hoping maybe someone had an idea on how to get her to see reason and instead of pushing us all away hear what we have to say rather than dream up everyone is against her we are all judging her...which isnt true..
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Redmond Neck Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 23166 ACT Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #34 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 12:00pm You could try the Redneck approach! A severe tongue lashing including telling her to grow up! Sometimes works.
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Jovial Monk Gold Member Offline Dogs not cats! Posts: 51474 Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #35 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 12:22pm Yeah, bit like my business partner when reactive depression hit me: Day 1: Take all the time, we are here for you Day 2: Can’t you snap out of it? Ah well, he is dead now, died late 2007. Weird, he was younger and fitter than me, never smoked, abstemious with alcohol and still died at age just 53 and here I am about to turn 70!
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cods

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Re: any advice..
Reply #36 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 12:45pm

Redmond Neck wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 12:00pm:

You could try the Redneck approach!

A severe tongue lashing including telling her to grow up!

Sometimes works.

ooooooooooo dont tempt me....my worry is the boys I wouldnt do anything to hurt them if I could I would land one on her....and the way she is right now she will take it all out on keeping the boys away.....which would hurt them as much as us..

so thats where it is.. I sent her a long email asking if we could meet and I could try to explain ourselves and let her know our concerns and worry for her.. no reply.

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Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 41483 Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #37 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 1:12pm Sprintcyclist wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 9:49am: Advice :- all the problems come from females. Ignore them, side 100% with the men. The females are crazed. It is pointless to try to 'make friends' with crazed people. Where are all the problems coming from? men, or women?
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Redmond Neck

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Re: any advice..
Reply #38 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 1:42pm

cods wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 12:45pm:

Redmond Neck wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 12:00pm:

You could try the Redneck approach!

A severe tongue lashing including telling her to grow up!

Sometimes works.

ooooooooooo dont tempt me....my worry is the boys I wouldnt do anything to hurt them if I could I would land one on her....and the way she is right now she will take it all out on keeping the boys away.....which would hurt them as much as us..

so thats where it is.. I sent her a long email asking if we could meet and I could try to explain ourselves and let her know our concerns and worry for her.. no reply.

Yeah proceed with caution then dont let her keep the kids away from you out of spite!

What started the fued with her sister may I ask?

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Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 41483 Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #39 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 2:17pm Quote: .................What started the fued with her sister may I ask?.................... probably women talking rubbish.
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Jovial Monk Gold Member Offline Dogs not cats! Posts: 51474 Gender:	Re: any advice.. Reply #40 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 2:25pm If you can’t help don’t bloody hinder, OK Sprint? Bog off in other words.
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cods

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Re: any advice..
Reply #41 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 2:50pm

Redmond Neck wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 1:42pm:

cods wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 12:45pm:

Redmond Neck wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 12:00pm:

You could try the Redneck approach!

A severe tongue lashing including telling her to grow up!

Sometimes works.

ooooooooooo dont tempt me....my worry is the boys I wouldnt do anything to hurt them if I could I would land one on her....and the way she is right now she will take it all out on keeping the boys away.....which would hurt them as much as us..

so thats where it is.. I sent her a long email asking if we could meet and I could try to explain ourselves and let her know our concerns and worry for her.. no reply.

Yeah proceed with caution then dont let her keep the kids away from you out of spite!

What started the fued with her sister may I ask?

look it would take too long angry sister went with her family o/seas.. me and daughter took them to the airport angry daughter was very angry with husband before we left home and angry daughter was drinking...they caught the redeye to Singapore..so it was late.. airport almost empty very frosty all round..
during the course of their week away we were of course extemely worried angry daughter was using some not nice language and saying not nice things...anyway daughter thought she was picking them up on their returen. so she wrote to her sister and with the best will io the world she brought up the drinking issus.. we had not heard from them while away so had no idea what things were like.. but my daughter thought she was being helpful but instead she lit another fire which of course her husband caught the full brunt of.. I have said my piece on the text. Roll Eyes

..she was not allowed to pick them up on their return and no contact since...which was the weekend before schools went back.. i did insist on daughter sending a sorry text saying she was out of line and just worried about her... but to no avail...

I am afraid while she is like this nothing will get through to her....and I always say whatever you do leaves scars you cant undo anything

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cods

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Re: any advice..
Reply #42 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 2:55pm

red we have been walking on eggshells for a while but we wer able to go there and talk and now my daughter is having a 50th birthday dinner fro all the family all paid for.. and shes not going... and the following week we are all going on a winery tour in Canberra for all her friends again all paid for but shes not going....

angry daughter and myself have organised the cake...we were going to pay half each its around the $275 mark but I will pick that bill up...so the ripple effect will rebound on her from what I can see.. an empty chair is always pretty obvious.... what she is doing wont ever be forgotten will it..

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Redmond Neck

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Re: any advice..
Reply #43 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 3:36pm

cods wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 2:55pm:

red we have been walking on eggshells for a while but we wer able to go there and talk and now my daughter is having a 50th birthday dinner fro all the family all paid for.. and shes not going... and the following week we are all going on a winery tour in Canberra for all her friends again all paid for but shes not going....

angry daughter and myself have organised the cake...we were going to pay half each its around the $275 mark but I will pick that bill up...so the ripple effect will rebound on her from what I can see.. an empty chair is always pretty obvious.... what she is doing wont ever be forgotten will it..

Certainly not a good situation.

So its the nice daughter who is turning 50 that isnt going to her own party? Not the angry one ?

Very sad!

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« Last Edit: Apr 30^th, 2017 at 3:41pm by Redmond Neck »

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Sprintcyclist

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Re: any advice..
Reply #44 - Apr 30^th, 2017 at 4:21pm

cods wrote on Apr 30^th, 2017 at 2:55pm:

red we have been walking on eggshells for a while but we wer able to go there and talk and now my daughter is having a 50th birthday dinner fro all the family all paid for.. and shes not going... and the following week we are all going on a winery tour in Canberra for all her friends again all paid for but shes not going....

angry daughter and myself have organised the cake...we were going to pay half each its around the $275 mark but I will pick that bill up...so the ripple effect will rebound on her from what I can see.. an empty chair is always pretty obvious.... what she is doing wont ever be forgotten will it..

Much better off without her.

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