AuntieM
Senior Member
  
Offline

Australian Politics
Posts: 444
Gender:
|
16 January 2007 Phallicmush
The not-so-lowly mushroom PEACHREE, GA - The mushroom, it turns out, according to research conducted by the Vegetables Are Good For You Group, is among the brightest of the edible vegetables. “Most people don’t want to think of vegetables as being intelligent,” Dill Q. Cumber, a spokesman for the group said, “because they’d rather eat something that’s not too brainy, like cauliflower.” The mushroom scored 165 on the Vege I. Q. scale, which equates to 160 on the Stanford-Bidet scale, making mushrooms vegetable geniuses in the same category as such notably bright humans as Bill Gates (I. Q. 165), Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf (I. Q. 165), and Hugh Hefner (I. Q. 156) and “way smarter than both Donald Trump (I. Q. 147) and Rosie O’Donnell (I. Q. 19),” Cumber said. Among vegetables, intelligence is measured according to the defensive mechanisms they have developed over the millennia, and how many roots and tubers they possess. Some defenses include tasting bad or being poisonous to potential predators; being equipped with thorns; and being able to hog sunlight, rain, and soil nutrients while choking out competitive plants. Points are awarded for ghastly appearances, too
|