The Most Surprising Postcard Ever?

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he promised that he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but she asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discreet, he advised her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about nine months later, he came home to his confused wife.

Honey, she said, "You received a very strange postcard today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he replied.

The wife obeyed, and watched her husband as he read the card. He turned white and fainted.

On the card was written:

"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs. Two without."

Doctor's Advice to Woman re Her Husband's Libido

An elderly Irish woman of advanced age visited her doctor to ask his advice on reviving her husband's lagging libido.
'What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.
"Not a chance," she said... "He won't even take an aspirin."
"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra."
"What's this Irish Viagra?" she asked.
"You drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

A week later she called the doctor, who asked her about the results.

"Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah!" she exclaimed. "T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was immediate.
He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye! With one swoop of his arm, he sent cups and tablecloth flying, then ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean it wasn't good?"

"It was the best I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"

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