gladys wrote on Sep 5^th, 2015 at 11:43pm:




I think we may pass on the plate Glad your posts about your date have given me second thoughts...how about you b ring the door prize it was going to be another date with George but I dont somehow think that will work....

I am wondering how you got to see his toe nails...???

I would rather not know thank you  as you have already given me too much information....

I am sure Geo will be the pillar of respectability as santa...he doesnt want to risk a life ban from our club. as long as he doesnt want to do his air guitar impersonations I will be fine with him.. I do have to draw a line sometimes...

Hi pansi glad to see you are alive and well I thought as we hadnt heard from you you may have eloped with Mr Grills..I am so glad you didnt   we cannot afford to lose any members right now...we cannot send more money.. although I would love too you seem to be having so much fun..I had to bail Fran again for mooning its the last time I told her...next time they get to keep her....she is becoming a serial pest..and her name goes up on the board her last warning..name and shame its the only way with some of our girls.

we have a new member margie and she will be doing the cleaning the port-a-loo is self cleaning you will be soooooo happy to know...the old loo collapsed after a couple thought they would see what all the fuss was about in the mile high club..... yes it was before we decided to water down the mead..anyway we had no choice but to have it towed away... rather embarrassing as the tow driver had to untangle the miscreants  first as no one would go near them...it was quite a scandal.  as luck would have it the newspaper chappy was laughing so much he missed the deadline so it never made the news....

the bad news is we may have to increase the membership fees pansi..I know Glad will have a melt down..but I cant see us keeping up the payments on the funeral funds at this rate..it is one of the good old CWA obligations to send each member off in style  and because some of them have lasted a lot longer than expected the premiums keep going up..

we do have such high standards as you know...I will leave you to tell them on your return...

Ex Dame Pansi wrote on Sep 6^th, 2015 at 10:19am:



I dont know about you ,pansi but I am not going anywhere I have already told my lot the bad news.. they will have to kill me with an a... so my farewell is far into the future...but some of the old dolls are really falling apart...you can tell when all they do is whinge just look at glad for instance.. I fix her up with a date...and she complains about toenails..I mean who spends time looking at them at our age....??..

you do have a point about funerals its getting the permit thats the problem...we have so many nit pickers on council these days.. and I am not sure Pankyhurst will approve either....pushing them out to sea isnt that polluting ??..... and imagine HIGH TIDE..it doesnt bare thinking about..

I do remind the girls they cant take it with them...when we are going to ask for more...I mean maud with her pacemaker and all...

and then we have the lads now and I think they should pay more as they keep telling us size does matter.. and they will need a bigger coffin.. or raft as the case may be. after all...

when you return we will bring it all up my dear...we are all raring to go...

Agnes wrote on Sep 6^th, 2015 at 2:26pm:






A great big lorry......goodness me, don't tell me Ilsa's been doing the Sunday roasts again......we all ended up with dysentery last time.

I think we should organise it that no more than three members can pass over in the one year otherwise there will be no one left to party and you know how cods makes up enough mead to last a good six months.

I don't know if the treasurer will let us both go Agnes, we might have to get her to sign that off at the Christmas party.

ladies PLEASE.. you are not taking our situation seriously...here you are talking about Cuba.. where on earth is that?..I think its time you got used to the idea travel is out.. as agnes points out you can get all sort of nasty creepy things overseas.. I do hope you dont drink the water....even in a bottle they fill it from the tap...

anyway I sent Milly down the shopping centre in her moped with a sign round her neck saying an old peoples home was about to close... please donate... she did get a couple of tins of sardines.. so I will have to rephrase that sign  give her her due it poured with rain... and no one thought to put her under the awnings....so poor dear you can only  imagine...so we all sang for shes a jolly good fellow 3 times and she was rapped...we went down to the op shop and bought her a whole new outfit... well what else could we do.. but the girls all kicked in a dollar each which I thought was fantastic...and we had a couple of dollars left over so we have put that in the

Save The CWA Fund...

pansi we do have to be nice to Pankyhurst.. she did after all up your allowance overseas.,.. and we are still waiting for any facts you found....she is waiting for your report dear....please dont mention bear.. she said you would grab the first man you see getting off the plane....and I told her to button her lip.. well not in those words but close....and then thats what you did..in fact some of your emails are R rated....I did let agnes read them... now she wants to go next time...

its not good enough.

Ex Dame Pansi wrote on Sep 6^th, 2015 at 5:17pm:



I really would like to go I always did have an adventurous spirit~ and it's hard being left out of all the fun.. but I have to live with what the committee decides and be content with that- due to my ongoing corn problem it might be a silly idea anyway- plus which I could never go a day without my hot pink jeggings and yellow boob tube- you should see the looks I get on the high street in that outfit ?

I dont know pansi if you can schedule things like curling up your toes , but if Cods keeps feeding them her choko scones well ... you know , not to mention how she sometimes over ferments her brew and the girls all blow up and well , its touch and go with some of them- not a pretty sight. 

cods wrote on Sep 6^th, 2015 at 8:27am:

   Oh well yes jolly good ,I was only loo cleaning champion in St Mary Mead 1935, cleaning is something I do very well and as I have as I said before impeccable standards when it comes to hygiene. I might have to put up signs in the port a loo s for the men whose aim is not so precise. I could show them ways in which they could improve their aim but I don't think that would be quite right, did I tell you I was also ladies Small Arms Champion of 1930 as well? My aim is very very good.

it a huge plus for our branch to read of all the good worthy skills our members have...all so useful and an awful lot of those skills are dying out...toilet cleaning is not big today with all these pop in the cistern and its all done gizmos  I am just so not in favour of that. we have increased the airfreshener in there girls...its automatic so please close the door quickly as you leave.....

we do have a few complaints and we are trying to deal with them in the best possible way...Glad I am sure you are exaggerating about your date with Geo.M...I do think maybe it was the wrong match so maybe AiA is more your type..he loves wearing shoes I know....and a fancy dancer with remarkable skills.his passion for the dip and glide is just swoonsville...

...he has a roving eye amongst other roving bits. .but I just know you will click...

the sardines were a hit at the lunch yesterday thanks for the tip about the calcium agnes...you are just brilliant at looking out for their health....I am finding it harder to get Ethel away from her X Box..  she is believe it or not getting stronger since you have been giving them weight training....in fact it took two of us last night... and now Molly is hooked on one of these dating sites....I have begged her to cancel her membership but she wont listen...she said they have told her there is a man out there made for her....when she sends her bank account number they will send her his details...all she knows is hes black and six ft tall name Adonis... lucky when her man Boris ran off he didnt leave her any bank details...I told her if its meant to be Adonis will appear on the steps of the CWA.....so please keep an eye out for him...she is now camping in the hall..

I will be so glad when pansi returns she is so good with these lonely hearts problems....

gladys wrote on Sep 7^th, 2015 at 3:27pm:



that is so not true... Glad you really must get your mind back on que...if you keep this up you will start all the girls whingeing they have bowel problems. they think you can catch it...so please decorum at all times....

I just know you are after a date with a handsome man thats all, its the main reason I have encouraged the lads from  the toolshed...I know they stop by but they are shy and afraid to come on in...so if they think we have a hussy in the ranks I am sure a few of them will light up like a lighthouse..and join the club we so need new members  so think how its all in a good cause .

Dont forget if we have square dancing the more lads we have the better..... dosey doe  and all that twirling it will be a hit I know...we need a caller so if anyone is good at it let us know....the pay is lousy but the foods ok...we do have a fiddle player he is the only one that will come back after last years Rio Carnivale we put on..... the rest changed their phone numbers and a couple actually moved away... so we are lucky to have  Tim the fiddler..... he does live in a nursing home so not so easy for him to move away...  we will need to advise Patrick the Policeman we will be partying so please let me have the numbers so he can organise his roster.....I am not sure what that is about...but I am sure many of the lads will want to work that shift...so we need to give him plenty of notice..

I am sure pansi will be back by then.lets hope she isnt too worn out from all this travel..... did I  mention I was going to make big fancy skirts to twirl around in...just like you see on those hillbilly videos...so I can make to order I have this beautiful check lycra..all shiny and sexy.....  I know pansi will want one...and have made it in bright orange  its all the rage this season  I was told that by this nice little Chinese man I bumped into off the Melb Markets.. such a nice man he helped put the rolls in the back of the car for no extra cost..... he did say I would have enough to make shorts  and shirts for the lads..... what do you think agnes..????...