Merry Christmas To My Female Friends

If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigour,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old colour that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or f...y,
From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.

I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's for an oestrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Yea

many blessings

all got what they wanted

many have not unwrapped the prezzies !

look within and see your divine gift of sacred light

for it is there , with

so very much love

namaste

- : ) =

Hah... not a female.

I got a surfboard, video camera, some lottery tickets in a pack, a gift voucher from the fishing tackle shop, and some chocies and a Xmas pudding (first class with cognac), and two cases of beer.

Rosie wrote on Dec 26^th, 2014 at 11:11am:



well done rosie! yes I did thank you.. I kind of ended up in the kitchen...WHY IS THAT???>.

talked to the family in Copenhagen via Skype and the youngest 5 went racing round the house bringing out every gift one at a time to flash in front of the camera it was kind of my santa moment as the others are all teens.. and well past it...I went home very happy.. it did rain most of the day here and was very humid...which we all complained about and today its just perfect..blue sky gentle breeze....

sadly the fairies didnt come and wash m y kitchen floor but that will get done sometime.......... I hope..haha..

This was the first year I didn't do the Christmas dinner so no mess to clean up today.  We went next door to our son's place and he did a great job.  I bought lots of bon bons and those little exploding things that send streamers in the air.  I decided they had made a mess of my place for the last few years it was their turn this year. He has two small girls, seven and 11 and they had a ball.

Dnarever wrote on Dec 26^th, 2014 at 12:48pm:


But will that make it better or worse?

Kat wrote on Dec 28^th, 2014 at 2:23pm:



my husband [bless him] had a habit of keeping us all waiting sitting in the car while he checked every door and window...he would come out after we  were all about to start tearing into each other...only to go for one last check...........groooooooooan....it set us off every time..