http://reneweconomy.com.au/2013/101-uses-for-tony-abbotts-green-army-15095
By Staff Reporters on 20 August 2013
Print Friendly

Given the inability of its election candidates to explain their party’s climate change policies, it is clear that the Coalition needs some help in defining Direct Action.

When Greenway (NSW) candidate Jaymes Diaz last week was asked to explain Direct Action, the best he could come up with was “Green Army”, “planting real trees”, and “a solar panel.” On Monday, Wakefield (SA) candidate Tom Zorich couldn’t even get that far, saying in a debate doing the rounds on Youtube that “I haven’t got much to tell you about that”.

That’s really not surprising, given that the Coalition policy chiefs are unable to explain the policy either, and will be looking for good ideas to make it work under an energy white paper that Greg Hunt will call for should the Coalition get elected next month.

The one constant we do know about is the creation of Tony Abbott’s Green Army. The Coalition has allocated $300 million (yes, $300 million) to the Green Army, but what will its 15,000 members do?

So far, the Coalition has suggested that it will be deployed to pick up litter, plant trees (real ones according to Diaz), and to build things like boardwalks in mangrove swamps. ”The Green Army will march to the rescue of our degraded land and polluted waterways,” Tony Abbott said (with a straight face) at its re-launch in July.

But what else could it do? We’d like your ideas of how the Green Army could be deployed. We’ll kick it off with a few ideas of our own, but we will really need your support to get to the goal of 101 great ideas. Please add here to comments, or tweet at #greenarmy.

Turn back the boats: Two slogans in one, axe the tax, stop the boats. The Green Army could form an impenetrable barrier – either on land or at sea – to repel the invasion of asylum seekers

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BRqdIrWCAAACGc5.jpg:large
Reduce ocean levels by forming a human chain with buckets: As cartoonist Alan Moir suggested in last week’s SMH, the Green Army could form a human chain and use buckets to reduce rising sea levels.

Act as a mobile sea wall: To extend on Moir’s suggestion, and given that coastal erosion is one of the major threats to the Australian coastline, the Green Army could be deployed in brigades up and down the coast (or as a single force in worst hit areas) to stand in front of the ocean at king tides to protect vulnerable dunes.

Act as a human solar tracker: If each of the members held one module each, that would equate to around 5MW of capacity. If they followed the sun from dawn to dusk, they could boost output by around 20 per cent, and get rainy days off.  Given that the Coalition will likely scuttle the renewable energy target, the army and its mobile solar farm could be deployed to different states to give all Australians the benefit of utility-scale solar power.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BR05DDECQAAZ64_.jpg:large
Chop down wind turbines: The Canberra Times cartoonist David Pope came up with his own suggestion last week, suggesting the Green Army could be used for chopping down wind turbines, given the hostility among many Coalition members, and aspiring members and advisors, to the deployment of wind energy.

And now, over to you ……

Maybe they could be used as press gangs for rounding up hippy dole bludgers from the various pubs & university campuses and getting them (real) jobs.

Maybe they could be used for keeping eco-socialists away from stuffing up CSG mining exploration.

Maybe they could be used to collect and bury all the thousands of rare bird species being cut out of the sky by wind farms.

Maybe they could act as a rentacrowd and actually protest for the establishment of a nuclear power industry in Australia.

Maybe they could be used as fire fighters to patrol all houses at risk from Kevie's pink batte calamity

Maybe they could be used to polish the plaques at all the thousands of useless Kevie-o-lemon school monuments around the country

Maybe they could be used (although you'd need one hell of a lot more of them) to count all the dollars in debt (future income tax increases) that Ruddy & Juliar have racked up over the past 6 years

Maybe they could be used as (although you'd need one hell of a lot more of them around 35,000 more) buddies for all the detained unlawful non-citizens that have arrived by boat