Bravely bold Tony Abbott
Rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh brave Tony Abbott.
He was not at all afraid
To be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Tony Abbott.
He was not in the least bit scared To be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out,
And his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split
And his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled Brave Tony Abbott.
His head smashed in
And his heart cut out
And his liver removed
And his bowls unplugged
And his nostrils raped
And his bottom burnt off
And his pen--
("That's... that's enough music for now lads, there's dirty work afoot???")
Brave Tony Abbott ran away.
("No!")
Bravely ran away away.
("I didn't!")
When danger reared it's ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
("no!")
Yes, brave Tony Abbott turned about
("I didn't!")
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat.
Bravest of the braaaave, Tony Abbott!

-- with thanks to the Monty Python crew

Monty Python did 9-11