If Julia Gillard is an Australian, then I'm not an Australian.
If Peter Slipper is an Australian, then I'm certainly not an Australian.
If Tony Abbott is an Australian, I'm not a clown so not an Australian.
If Malcom Turnbull is an Australian, I'm not a bankster so not an Australian.
If Wenny Pong is an Australian, then no way am I Australian.
If those cringing sycophants in the background of Parliamentary broadcasts are Australian, then I'm certainly not.
If Graeme Richardson is an Australian, I don't have shares in Offset Alpine and don't get prostitutes from criminal mates, so I'm not an Australian.
If "Joe Hockey" is an Australian, then God help them; I'm sure he's a cyborg.
If that grovelling faggot, Little Johnnie Howard, is human, then God help the human race.
And let's not go anywhere near Anna Bligh, Christine Kinneally, or that Bishop creature.
If any of those sweaty NRL or AFL perverts are Australian, then I'd hate to be an Australian.
I don't "Dance with the Stars" so I'm not an Australian.
My kitchen doesn't rule, so I'm not an Australian.
I don't have "The Voice" so I'm not an Australian.
If those grinning idiots on morning TV are Australian, then I'm not Australian.
If the plastic talking heads on TV News are Australian, then I'm not Australian.
If the boneheads on "Sport TV" are Australian, then no way I am.
Who, in their right mind would want to be an Australian?