Miranda Devine
The Sunday Telegraph
February 26, 2012 12:00AM

FOR pomposity, vainglory and pious sanctimony, Tony Windsor and Rob Oakeshott have no equal in Australian politics, judging by their recent antics. And that's saying something this week.

As Labor implodes, the country independents pose as kingmakers and honest brokers above the fray.

None of the ugliness of last week had anything to do with them. They were far too busy getting on with the oh so important and very hard work of "substantive issues" and the "reform agenda".

Self-interest? Never heard of it.

But, aw shucks, if you must ask, these noble sages will not countenance the Labor Party ditching Julia Gillard tomorrow.

Windsor warned of dark consequences: "If they want to get to the next election we can probably bring it on a bit quicker than what they think."

Oakeshott declared "all bets are off" if Labor chooses Kevin Rudd. He even called for regime change in the Coalition, identifying Malcolm Turnbull as the leader long favoured by the pair.

"If on an outside chance on Monday there is a change of leadership from the Labor Party, more than likely my first phone call would be to Malcolm Turnbull to ask him: 'Can you command a majority on the floor of the house of representatives?'."

The delusion that he is so powerful he can dictate who the Coalition chooses as leader pretty much tells the story.

They are drunk with power. Duchessed by the government and any MP with a baton in the knapsack, slapped on the back in parliament house corridors, invited into the inner sanctum, their uninspired opinions sought and listened to as if they mattered, flattered by the media, ushered into Gillard's office for cups of tea and treated to solicitous text messages from the prime ministerial mobile, they think they are somebodies. In short, they have come to believe the hype.

As the bitterness in their electorates mounts, despite the pork they keep funnelling home, the love in Canberra envelopes them with a warm sense of consequence.

Creating the Wind-Shott Frankenstein, all bloated with self-importance, has been a crucial work of the Prime Minister. No one does saccharine flattery better. She must giggle to herself in private moments.

Oakeshott gushed when he recounted her glories to Fran Kelly on Radio National last week: "I think she's doing a pretty outstanding job in a challenging reform agenda."

It was in that interview that Oakeshott flew the flag for Turnbull.

"But you're just dreaming or making mischief," exclaimed Kelly. "You don't get to choose who the Coalition elects as their leader."

"Oh no, look," spluttered Oakeshott, "More than likely he would say no, he can't command authority. But ... the disappointing thing with the ... Liberal party leadership is ... it is more close to, you know, the BA Santamaria, the DLP view of the world, not true Liberal economics. It is closer to print-more-money economics."

What's he on about?

Abbott doesn't advocate printing money. That's Obama's gig.

But in his way, Oakeshott reveals much about what likely drives Wind-Shott. It seems to me to be a visceral hatred of Abbott. Windsor, cousin of Rudd strategist Bruce Hawker, seems to enjoy sideswiping Abbott. He can't help it - the venom just trickles out the side of his mouth. The imagery of Windsor's coarse description of Abbott offering to "sell his arse" to win his support after the 2010 election was deliberate.

Oakeshott finally let the cat out of the bag last week when he told Kelly: "Ultimately if I have to, if (Abbott) is the only person in the parliament who can command a majority,then I will talk to him."

Joined at the hip, with Oakeshott as the Mr-Smith-Goes-To-Washington ingenue and Windsor as the wily coyote, Wind-shott is an increasingly unattractive package.

No wonder Abbott wants nothing to do with them.

"This government was only formed because of them," he said. "This government only survives because they back it. Every mistake that this government makes, every day that this ... shambles goes on, it is is their responsibility."

You bet.

Adam Bandt or Andrew Wilkie are being true to their electorates. Tony Crook, the so-called WA independent National, is just a pretender.

Bob Katter, touring Queensland to spruik his new political party on Friday, is easy with his conscience.

"We didn't deliver the current Commonwealth government. We're not a part of it," said his spokesman.

Wind-Shott try to dress up their embrace of Labor with high-minded notions of policy. But it boils down to self-interest, revenge and bigotry.

No doubt the two want this parliament to last, because after an election they will be, not only out of a job, but dropped by all their new friends.

Of course they want to postpone the moment of truth.

They also want this parliament to last until their pet projects, like the carbon tax, are concreted in.

The illusion that they sacrificed their good names for the greater good is all they will have to keep them warm on the lonely nights ahead.

Life would be so much easier if we just had a hard line ultra conservative dictatorship. At least it would stop the neo cons from whinging every 5 minutes.

Life_goes_on wrote on Feb 26^th, 2012 at 3:56pm:


So true...they'll always find someone or something to hate

Now were posting Miranda senseless rants

matty wrote on Feb 26^th, 2012 at 1:47pm:


awesome article. I am looking forward to these two bozo's electoral flogging even MORE than Gillard's.

Life_goes_on wrote on Feb 26^th, 2012 at 3:56pm:


Here's a guy who whinges about other people whingeing and can't see the irony in that.
Idiot.

blackadder wrote on Feb 26^th, 2012 at 4:59pm:


True, BA. We should let him have it, and congratulate him. He's worked hard for it, just look at how he has tried to equate the Howard "Never ever GST" (which was taken to an election) with the Gillard "No carbon tax under the government I lead" (which was forced upon us with no mandate).

Dnarever wrote on Feb 26^th, 2012 at 4:15pm:





so whos rants would you prefer on a political board?????

lets only hear one side of the story... is that really the way to go????

what about Paul Howes... another front bencher waiting in the wings...he also has his little rants in the same paper...