Perhaps its un-natural for relationships to be eternally durable.

We are fighting against nature itself to maintain our relationships in  some sort of healthy state.

ALso as individuals we are changing constantly and so are the other people we are dealing with.

Maybe relationship breakdown and renewal is a healthy phenomenon?

Also as individuals we are changing constantly and so are the other people we are dealing with.

Maybe relationship breakdown and renewal is a healthy phenomenon?

- Foolosophy

This reminded me of a wedding I attended a few years back.

The wedding vows ended with the words as long as I am able to.

At the time a few of us were quite alarmed.

The marriage in question only lasted a few years. And I'm not sure that they really broke their vows either.

It's as if this aspect of change had been factored into their wedding vows based on the mutual capacity to endure each other.

Perhaps the couple were demonstrating their honest and realistic intentions/expectations of each other.

Wonder what this says about those of us who boldly promise to love, honour and cherish til death do us part?

Yes .. this is so true.

I quite loved the Albatross example. There's something very attractive and ever so beautiful for me about undying love ... irrespective of whether it occurs within the human or animal domains.

I wonder if it's because this represents an ideal.

Only relationship that are 'over-invested in' break down. They break down because they are over-invested in.

Relationships that are overestimated, for whatever reason. People participate in them as if the relationship was more significant than it really is. People play act themselves into all sorts of relationships. Eventually, disillusionment arrives.

if you start a thread about relationship breakdowns guess what will happen to yours ...........

that's what you are stating and am focussed on

Equitist wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 4:28pm:


EXCELLENT POINT! SOOOO VALID too! Thanks for raising it.

Unfortunately .. I've got some personal experience in this area (my 1st marriage which is all ancient history now).

Briefly .. after studying and working my butt off for 3 yrs straight .. I was able to negotiate and secure this awesome HR promotion with the Managing Director of a certain multinational corp. It basically saw me earning the same salary package as my husband at the time. It came at a time when my husband was STILL waiting for his long awaited promotion to come through .. so for that particular time frame .. we were BOTH bringing home the same sized bacon (so to speak).

The problem was this: I was a 25 yr old woman whereas my husband was a 45 yr old man.

Bottom line? My husband gave me an ultimatum .. and I felt forced to resign in order to keep the peace. His terms were not negotiable and I HAD to choose btwn career or marriage.

Competition .. an interesting dynamic within ANY relationship for sure!