Australian Politics Forum - Seventy Two Virgins Quiz

tallowood

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Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz
Reply #15 - Mar 5^th, 2009 at 7:36am

The belief that men who die in suicide missions are going to enjoy the 72 virgins in heaven has been disputed on the ground that the old Arabic term hur, has been mistranslated as virgin but actually means white grape. If this is so then suicide bombers look even sillier blowing themselves up for a bunch of grapes.

BTW, is it just a coincidence that hur sounds like whore?

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Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 41883 Gender:	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #16 - Mar 5^th, 2009 at 8:25am tallow - I have heard that. Surely any wannabe suicide bomber would check out what is said in the koran himself ? A sexual reward for murdering infidels is more in keeping with the ways of mohammad and the aims of the koran than some fruit.
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Calanen Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 2241	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #17 - Mar 5^th, 2009 at 10:04am It's a pity that so many people have to die to fulfill an infantile schoolboy grade fantasy. You should hear the imams have a wet dream in their sermons describing the luscious imaginary women waiting for the shahids who dies as martyrs. It would be amusing, except people are dying for it.
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tallowood Gold Member Offline Израиль Навсегда Posts: 8490 Gender:	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #18 - Mar 6^th, 2009 at 8:12am "The West treat women as a commodity to be bought and sold and used and abused like pieces of meat. " (c) abu abu, you are wrong. The crazy sheik from Lakemba is not the West, he is your muslim brother.
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tallowood Gold Member Offline Израиль Навсегда Posts: 8490 Gender:	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #19 - Mar 6^th, 2009 at 3:31pm This question is for people knowledgeable about islamic literature Do 72 virgins wear nickers? Is it mentioned in the koran or any hadith?
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tallowood Gold Member Offline Израиль Навсегда Posts: 8490 Gender:	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #20 - Mar 7^th, 2009 at 9:10pm Seventy Two Virgins sat on a wall, Seventy Two Virgins had a great fall. All the genital mutilations, and all the islamic's fatwas Couldn't made poor women virgins again!
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Paladin

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Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz
Reply #21 - May 15^th, 2009 at 5:18pm

After His Death

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to heaven.

There he was greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across his face and yell at him, ''How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!''

Patrick Henry approached and punched Osama in the nose and shouted, ''You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.''

James Madison entered, kicked Osama in the groin, and said, ''This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!''

Thomas Jefferson came in and proceeded to beat Osama many times with a long cane and said: ''It was evil men like you that provided me the inspiration to pen the Declaration of Independence!''

These beatings and thrashings continued as John Randolph,
James Monroe, and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed
their anger on the Muslim terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and writhing in unbearable pain, an Angel
appeared. Bin Laden wept and said to the Angel, ''This is not what you promised me!''

The Angel replied, ''I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in heaven. What did you think I said?''

Grin

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Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt

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Soren

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Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz
Reply #22 - May 15^th, 2009 at 6:47pm

"What did you think I said?" indeed. Excellent gem of a joke.

Here's a slightly more vulgar expression of the misunderstanding that is Mohammedanism:

A Taliban suicide bomber pulls the plug and... BOOOMM! A short while later he finds himself on a huge white staircase leading towards Heaven, so he starts to climb them. After an hour or so climbing he arrives at a landing where an old man in white robes and a long flowing beard is sitting surrounded by ledgers.

'Excuse me sir he says, are you Mohammed?

'No,' replies the old man I am St Peter, Mohammed is further up the stairs.'

'But this is great news,' exclaims the bomber, 'Mohammed is higher than St Peter I can hardly believe it!'

He continues up the stairs, after another hour of hard climbing he arrives at another landing and standing there is a serene looking man with long hair and a beard.

'Excuse me sir, are you Mohammed?'

'No,' replies the man, 'I am Jesus, Mohammed is further up the stairs.'

'But this is amazing news,' exclaims the bomber, 'Mohammed is even higher than Jesus! Martyrdom is wonderful!'

With this he continues ascending the stairs, after two long hours of hard climbing he arrives on a huge landing, there sitting on a magnificent throne is another old man with flowing white robes, a beard and long white hair.

'Excuse me sir, are you Mohammed?'

'No replies the old man, I am God.'

'But this is incredible news!' screams the bomber, 'Mohammed is even higher than God. I am so excited I cannot believe it, martyrdom is thrilling!'

'You look tired my son,' says God, 'Would you like to sit down and rest a while?'

'Oh yes,' replies the bomber, 'I am very tired and would love to rest before I carry on. Thank you.'

The bomber sits and God says, 'You look thirsty my son, would you like a cup of coffee?

'Oh yes please,' replies the bomber. 'I am most thirsty'

With this, God turns and snaps his fingers and shouts, 'Oy Mohammed! Two coffees over here!'

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Jim Profit Senior Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 439 Gender:	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #23 - May 15^th, 2009 at 8:09pm I have one. A suicide bomber blows up nearly one hundred infidels, he goes to heaven to find 72 pregnant women and Jim Profit. And he's like "these are not virgins! They're pregnant!" And I said "Yo dog! I heard you like virgins! So I artificialy impregnated these women so you could have virgins in your virgins!"
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Soren Gold Member Offline Posts: 25654 Gender:	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #24 - May 15^th, 2009 at 10:06pm No, that's not the joke. You are the joke, pestilential, pestiferous pest.
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Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 41883 Gender:	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #25 - May 15^th, 2009 at 10:57pm no, islams the paedophillic joke
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tallowood Gold Member Offline Израиль Навсегда Posts: 8490 Gender:	Re: Seventy Two Virgins Quiz Reply #26 - May 18^th, 2009 at 10:08pm Years ago I saw the girl wearing the t-short with "virgins are useless" printed on it.
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oceanz Gold Member Offline Auzgurl.. Posts: 3531 Gender:	72 billion re-virginised Reply #27 - May 19^th, 2009 at 8:18pm that makes it sound far more interesting..
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