An Australian Aboriginal picks up a hooker.

"How much do you charge for da hour, sister?" he asks.

"$100," she replies.

He says "Do you do Aboriginal style?"

"No" she says.

"I pay you $200 to do it Aboriginal style"

"No", she says, not knowing what Aboriginal style is.

"I pay you $300"

"No", she says.

"I pay you $400"

"No", she says.

So finally he says, "OK, I pay you $1,000 to do it Aboriginal style."

She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had  every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world. How bad could Aboriginal Style be?''.

So she agrees and has sex with him.

They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several hours, they finish.

Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So what exactly is 'Aboriginal  style'?"

The Aboriginal replies "You send da bill to da Gub'ment"

I will do my best to do this one justice.....one I saw on the www...







A bloke arrives home after work, settles down in front of the TV, and says to his Wife, "Quick, grab me a beer before it starts."

...and she does.

He enjoys that one, and says, "Quick, grab me another one, it will start very soon."

...and she does.

He quaffs that one, and asks for another.

"Bugger you," she says, You have been here five minutes, flopped yourself in that chair, done bugger all, and you expect me to get your beer for you."

In reply, he says, "It's started."

An elderly lady complains to the M.D. that she passes gas many times a day. "It's really more of a nuisance than a problem," she explains, "They're silent and they don't smell." The M.D. gives her a prescription and tells her to come back in a week.

She returns and says, "I don't know what it was you gave me, doc, but I still pass gas all the time, it is still silent, but it smells terribly!"

The M.D. replies, "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, we'll see what we can do for your hearing."

Maybe this should be in the spirituality forum?
It does look strangely familiar.

I know one, I'll probably butcher it though.

Anyway, this guy wakes up one morning and the wife says to him "You look terrible! Get yourself off to the doctor!" to which he replied, "But I feel great love! Off to work with me, it's a lovely day, enjoy yourself sweetheart." And with that he set off to work with a smile on his face, signing along to the radio in the car.

He gets to work and all his workmates look at him with a look of shock on their faces. "Mate you looking horrible, go see a doctor there's something wrong with you." to which he said "There's nothing wrong I feel fine." the supervisor doesn't believe him and tells him to go to the doctor and get a certificate stating he can work.

So the man heads off to the doctor.

As soon as he gets there the receptionist looks up at him and exclaims "OH MY GOD!" and runs and gets the doctor. He stops seeing his other patient and they rush this man through in front of all the others in the waiting room, without even checking his medicare card.

The doctor clearly looks worried and is asking the man what's wrong. "I don't know doctor, I feel great but all day people have been telling me to go to the doctor and now I have to get a certificate saying I can work or my boss won't let me back on site." The doctor says, "There is clearly something wrong here, you look horrible! I'm going to have to run some tests."

The doctor runs a battery of tests on the man, all the while saying "Doc, I feel great!"

Finally, the doctor, completely out of his depth here sits down at his desk and begins consulting his text books.

After an hour or so of reading and flicking pages, the doctor lets out an "Ah ha! I found it! I know what's wrong with you! You look horrible and feel great right?" "Yeah doc, that's it, what's wrong with me?" to which the doctor replies, "You're a vagina."

Thanks goodbloke, and welcome to OzPolitic.

Read the last few lines.