Australian Politics Forum

Sprintcyclist

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OzPolitic

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Re: Joke time
Reply #30 - Dec 13^th, 2007 at 8:49am

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a
beautiful dress on sale in the second.

In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile
phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a
terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that
she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be
her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more
shops before heading to the hospital.

She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a
cup of coffee and a beautiful coffee slice complimentary from the last
shop.

She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband.

Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.

She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her Husband's
condition.

The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished
your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself!
While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town,
your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just
as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely
the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will
require round the clock care. And you'll now be his full time carer!'

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.

The female doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg.
He's dead. What'd you buy?'

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freediver Gold Member Offline www.ozpolitic.com Posts: 53184 At my desk.	finally - the answer! Reply #31 - Dec 13^th, 2007 at 11:28am finally - the answer!
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oceanz Gold Member Offline Auzgurl.. Posts: 3531 Gender:	Re: Joke time Reply #32 - Dec 13^th, 2007 at 11:36am Freediver- Im not getting that one but cute bear..? Sprint..I actually laughed out loud to that one..
Back to top	&&Jade Rawlings on Cousins " He makes our team walk taller..a very good team man , Ben Cousins" IP Logged

Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 41795 Gender:	Re: Joke time Reply #33 - Dec 13^th, 2007 at 1:03pm oceans - that piccie confirms one of lifes big questions. "Does a brown bear ....."
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freediver Gold Member Offline www.ozpolitic.com Posts: 53184 At my desk.	Why men shouldn't buy baby clothes Reply #34 - Jan 10^th, 2008 at 11:45am http://www.ozpolitic.com/funny/why-men-shouldn't-buy-baby-clothes.html GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING DO NOT SWALLOW CHEWING-GUM !!
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freediver Gold Member Offline www.ozpolitic.com Posts: 53184 At my desk.	Re: Joke time Reply #35 - Feb 14^th, 2008 at 5:28pm
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oceanz Gold Member Offline Auzgurl.. Posts: 3531 Gender:	Re: Joke time Reply #36 - Feb 16^th, 2008 at 2:31pm
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Acid Monkey

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Re: Joke time
Reply #37 - Feb 26^th, 2008 at 5:38pm

freediver wrote on Dec 7^th, 2007 at 4:44pm:

About sexually explicit jokes - what does everyone think about the issue? (In a general sense - don't make this personal) Should we allow them?

I have strong views about racial, religious and sexual discrimination, and politics. However, a joke is a joke; and I think that its okay to joke about the issues that you believe in. Just as it's ok to crack jokes at your own expense. It's just making light of a situation and a bit of fun.

But it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. You have to be mindful of the sensitivity of others. And should you offend someone you apologise because you've taken it too far. End of story.

Many of you already know my stand on most of the issues over the last year... so here's a joke I've just heard:

I was feeling suicidal the other day so I called Lifeline. I got some call centre in Pakistan. When I told them my problem they whooped with joy and asked me whether I can drive a truck.

Wink

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RecFisher Senior Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 347	Re: Joke time Reply #38 - Feb 27^th, 2008 at 5:35pm I was feeling depressed the other night, so I rang Lifeline. I got a call centre in Afgahnistan. I told them I was feeling suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane!
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RecFisher Senior Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 347	Re: Joke time Reply #39 - Feb 27^th, 2008 at 5:36pm The Aboriginals said they were sorry too, but they don't know nuffin about no "stolen generators"...
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freediver Gold Member Offline www.ozpolitic.com Posts: 53184 At my desk.	Re: Joke time Reply #40 - Feb 28^th, 2008 at 1:05pm Bollywood transcribed (music video): http://www.crikey.com.au/video.html?source=cmailer
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Sprintcyclist

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Re: Joke time
Reply #41 - May 22^nd, 2008 at 8:26am

"Jailed donkey proves law is an ass By staff writers
May 22, 2008 08:10am

A DONKEY has been freed from a Mexican jail after serving three days for assaulting two men.

Local TV showed showed Blacky the donkey eating from a bucket after three days in a jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances, the Associated Press reported.

Blacky was jailed for biting and kicking two men near a ranch outside Tuxtla Gutierrez, the capital of the southern state of Chiapas.

Officials freed the donkey after its owner paid a $US36 ($38) fine and the $US115 hospital bill for the men.

They were bitten on the chest and one suffered a broken ankle"

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23739461-5003402,00.html

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freediver Gold Member Offline www.ozpolitic.com Posts: 53184 At my desk.	Re: Joke time Reply #42 - May 22^nd, 2008 at 8:57am I know what they'll be thinking ..... mmmm burritos http://xkcd.com/386/
Back to top	« Last Edit: Jun 5^th, 2008 at 2:58pm by freediver » dick_bunny.gif (199 KB \| 45 ) People who can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I cannot put into words. IP Logged

DILLIGAF Gold Member Offline Posts: 1259 The greens are red Gender:	Re: Joke time Reply #43 - Jun 18^th, 2008 at 12:45am LOL heres a beaut!
Back to top	lol.JPG (134 KB \| 46 ) Total anti-marxist and anti-left wing. The Right is Right.&&&&&& IP Logged

Acid Monkey Gold Member Offline Goth Father Posts: 1064 EU Gender:	Re: Joke time Reply #44 - Jun 18^th, 2008 at 4:36pm freediver wrote on May 22^nd, 2008 at 8:57am: I know what they'll be thinking ..... mmmm burritos http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png http://xkcd.com/386/ LOL. I can think of a few people like that whop frequent this site (myself included).
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