Couldn't find a picture of the donkey mascot... The Dicken's Cider Ass.

An indigenous australian woman was pregnant. She decided to have an abortion.
So the abortion went ahead, 5 weeks later she got a cheque for $5000 from the Australian Government.
Thinking it was an error about the child bonus scheme, she rang up the phone number provided.
The voice answered the phone "Crime Prevention Unit here."

They were funny, any more?

John S wrote on Nov 27^th, 2010 at 8:17am:




Yes, I have seen that before.
The symbols allocated to the numbers change each time.
But there is a common symbol.
And that is the one that relates to the "use" of the mathematical equation.

Much like the "trick" or twist with the number 9.

Or try this:

http://www.digicc.com/fido/

Question:      If Kevin Rudd,   Wayne Swan, Bob Brown and Julia Gillard took a boat ride outside the Barrier Reef and the boat sank, who would survive?

Answer:      Australia

A dark and stormy night

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty Hill were vacationing in Europe... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway.  It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts,"Hello My name is Bob Hill and this is my wife Betty Hill. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"
   
"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone..

My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"

Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare an infusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob Hill  and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace... He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch a movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up .!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory,  bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master! .....
The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

 

A chicken was lying back in bed, smoking a cigarette with a satisfied look on his face, while the disgruntled looking egg next to him says;
"well that settles that question then!"