My joke: Barrack Obama supporters.

Thats all well and good but we all know that the biggest joke here is you oceanZ. 

oceanz wrote on Dec 29^th, 2008 at 5:40pm:

LOL. I don't think there are any guarantees in life - only probability, and when it comes down to it, we're all individuals with unique genetic backgrounds and unique life histories. We can predict for populations, but we can predict very little about an individual's life expectancy.

We all have different philosophies. I'll stick to mine. If I adopt yours, it's a bit like wearing somebody elses suit. Sometimes it fits, but there is no guarantee.

We all have to die some day. Me, I'd like to die in the peak of health, maybe during a street run or while kite surfing. I don't want to die after a long illness being attached to life support, or being cleaned every day because of incontinence. If I ever get to that stage, I'll find a way to end it all while I still can.

I'm not ready for it yet though, but ask me again when I'm 95. The trouble is that I'll probably want to put it off then because I'll still be having such a good time forgetting to act my age.

It's not the length of life that counts - it's the quality.

I exercise, eat vegetarian, don't drink, smoke, or do drugs - and I enjoy life to the full. - If the suit fits, wear it.

Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son, he is a martyr."

"You must be so proud," says the other.

"This is my second son. He is a martyr also."

"A fine looking young man," replies his friend.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully, "They blow up so fast, dont they?"

amadd - hahha, yes, it was

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Membership Renewal

Dear David

This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.

All the best, Jeff Peters


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Membership Renewal

Dear Jeff,

Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Hello David

How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags.

Cheers, Jeff


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

Do I get free shipping with that?

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months.


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to 'lift this', ''push that' dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Hello David

Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead.

Cheers, Jeff


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.

Regards, David.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Go f *ck yourself.

Lol, , very clever, and funny.

I wonder if it is real responses from the gym guy, or or if it is all just a clever piece of writing?

Either way, a good laugh.