I like the mood ring one.

8 women and one man get rescued by a helicopter from the top of a burning building and are all holding onto a thin rope which can only withstand the weight of 8 people.
Realising that one must let go of the rope, the man gives a sensitive speech about his duty to sacrifice himself for the women.
At the end of his speech, the women all start clapping.

ITALIAN BOY'S  CONFESSION

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with  a
loose  girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano  ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I  can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'
Well,  Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell  me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa  Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry,  but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are  sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell  you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight  lipped,
and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.  You
cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and  behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco  slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five  good leads

Sprintcyclist wrote on Nov 6^th, 2008 at 9:19pm:


Abu's certainly nodding his head with approval.

The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. 
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more. 
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.
He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.
She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! 

Why ??? i
You can't killTwo Birds withOneStone?!!!

A visual comment on current Stockmarket volatility:

THE NEW PASSWORD
 
A woman was helping  her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in  the process, told him he would now need to enter a  password..
Something he would use to log-on.
Her husband was  in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for the shock  effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the  computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious  to his wife that he was keying  in:



P...

E...

N...

I...

S..

His  wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer  replied:

***PASSWORD INVALID............NOT LONG  ENOUGH***

A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a rabbi are discussing what they would like people to say after they die and their bodies are on display in open caskets.

Priest: I would like someone to say "He was a righteous man, an honest man, and very generous."

Minister: I would like someone to say "He was very kind and fair, and he was very good to his parishioners."

Rabbi: I would want someone to say "Look, he's moving."

A western feminist visits Kabul shortly after the fall of the Taliban and is not pleased to find that women must walk 5 paces behind the men.

A year later she returns and is delighted to find that men must now walk 5 paces behind the women.

She asked the interpreter, "What brought about the change?"

He replied, "land mines".