Australian Politics Forum - Gay marriage and children

queer Full Member Offline Socialism is the answer! Posts: 117 SA Gender:	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #225 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 8:10am Good to see you're stocked up with that sh!t!
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oceanz Gold Member Offline Auzgurl.. Posts: 3531 Gender:	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #226 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 8:14am queer wrote on Oct 8^th, 2008 at 8:10am: Good to see you're stocked up with that sh!t!
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oceanz Gold Member Offline Auzgurl.. Posts: 3531 Gender:	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #227 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 8:16am a preemptive one coz Im bored with you already -- boo hoo.
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queer Full Member Offline Socialism is the answer! Posts: 117 SA Gender:	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #228 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 8:43am UR A n00b!
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jordan484

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Re: Gay marriage and children
Reply #229 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 9:48am

Anyway, back on topic, queer, do you believe that a child with 2 mothers (or 2 fathers) does not miss out in any way, shape or form? Even if they had the idealistic, loving parents in a loving relationship with no problems or anything else. I don't want to know if you think they are "better off" than a lot of children in situations with heterosexual parents have divorced or are abusive, I want to know if gay parents think the child misses out in some way by not having a parent of both sexes in their life.

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queer

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Re: Gay marriage and children
Reply #230 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 10:12am

jordan484 wrote on Oct 8^th, 2008 at 9:48am:

Anyway, back on topic, queer, do you believe that a child with 2 mothers (or 2 fathers) does not miss out in any way, shape or form? Even if they had the idealistic, loving parents in a loving relationship with no problems or anything else. I don't want to know if you think they are "better off" than a lot of children in situations with heterosexual parents have divorced or are abusive, I want to know if gay parents think the child misses out in some way by not having a parent of both sexes in their life.

No I don't think they miss out on anything.

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jordan484 Gold Member Offline Genuine Aussie Posts: 1115	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #231 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 10:14am Is that because you hope they don't, or that you have studied enough on the topic to make that call?
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queer

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Re: Gay marriage and children
Reply #232 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 10:42am

Its from the fact that I've seen quite a few single parents raise perfectly normal kids so if a single parent can raise a kid normally then two parents of the same sex can also raise one normally. No real long term studies have been undertaken in my opinion as homosexual child adoption is a relatively new thing and it would be best to answer this question in another 50 years or so for more concrete results. But in general, yes, I feel two gay or lesbian parents can raise a kid just as well as any single or coupled hetero's can with the same results in the child.
It has more to do with the environment and morals around the child than the sex of the parents. Just because a traditional family is M/F doesn't mean M/M or F/F can't work just as well as many traditions are being disassembled these days with good results. Subjective opinions will always get in the way of this question and I am trying to give my honest unbiased opinion on this matter through personal experience and the few test results that there are.

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mantra

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Re: Gay marriage and children
Reply #233 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 10:43am

Quote:

Is that because you hope they don't, or that you have studied enough on the topic to make that call?

Of course children miss out on a lot when they don't have their father around. A lot more stress is put on the mother and hopefully most of them cope - but one good parent is still better than 2 bad parents. Two good parents are great (of any sex) - but not so common these days.

I coped - mainly alone - but my children didn't want to share me with just anyone and I put their needs first. I do know a couple of gay women - who were once "straight" and they are raising children - but with good input from the fathers - and these children are very well adjusted and not ashamed of their mothers.

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jordan484

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Re: Gay marriage and children
Reply #234 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 10:50am

I grew up without a mother, and my boys are as well (both through death) and I know how much I missed out on, but particularly my sister, the mother daughter bond is so crucial, and I know my boys will miss out terribly not having their mother around, I try to include female relatives in their lives to give them great role models of the opposite sex, which I think is essential, in fact I know from experience that it is. I'm still of the opinion it doesn't matter if a gay couple is loving and wonderful, the child still misses out on an essential relationship with the parent of the opposite sex to the couple.

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mantra

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Re: Gay marriage and children
Reply #235 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 11:20am

Quote:

I grew up without a mother, and my boys are as well (both through death) and I know how much I missed out on, but particularly my sister, the mother daughter bond is so crucial, and I know my boys will miss out terribly not having their mother around, I try to include female relatives in their lives to give them great role models of the opposite sex, which I think is essential, in fact I know from experience that it is. I'm still of the opinion it doesn't matter if a gay couple is loving and wonderful, the child still misses out on an essential relationship with the parent of the opposite sex to the couple.

Jordan - these situations do make us very sad - but no matter how sad we feel - to have our children grow up feeling secure, we have to put our wants aside for a little while. I can relate exactly to what you're saying, but in the reverse.

As long as your boys have some positive exposure to female relatives or friends occasionally - they will be fine. They have the security of you and that is the most important thing.

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jordan484 Gold Member Offline Genuine Aussie Posts: 1115	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #236 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 11:36am Thanks mantra, those were very kind words.
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Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 41872 Gender:	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #237 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 1:24pm Good luck with that jordan. One of my mates lost his wife (mother of 2) a few years ago. he had a tough time for a while, but kept going and is ok now. take care (yes, mantra is always like that, don't tell her though)
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jordan484 Gold Member Offline Genuine Aussie Posts: 1115	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #238 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 1:54pm Thank you sprint. We are doing ok, it's been 7 years since my wife died, it does get better as the years go by but it is still very difficult at times, but the boys keep me busy (they are triplets) and very focused, they are my world and I keep going for them.
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oceanz Gold Member Offline Auzgurl.. Posts: 3531 Gender:	Re: Gay marriage and children Reply #239 - Oct 8^th, 2008 at 2:06pm *
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