cods wrote on Jun 30
th, 2020 at 8:49am:
mothra wrote on Jun 30
th, 2020 at 7:59am:
I have a male colleague who works exclusively with male perpetrators of family violence. He's really hard to get into, so underrepresented is his position. Man, we need more like him.
But what he so often tells me that a big part of his job is "gently inviting" the bloke into understanding who is responsible for his behaviour.
Make of that what you will.
I can hear distant hoof beats ... Horseboy? I'm already hearing your comments.
well without making too many waves
as we have noticed the men who are steadfast in their belief...that women are more violent.... they do have a knack of blaming the other person for their own behavior valkie was very strong on who he holds responsible and as he knows so many in those awful relationships he has to know what he is talking about.. dont you thinK>
as it is its all debatable and everyone can change their minds or their opinions....
my concern is this "problem." is growing and its growing fast and will make it all the harder for anyone to make any inroads.....and when it gets sidetracked by the blame game... it turns people off of debating it..
I have suggested anger manage course for those who are served DVOs maybe the same for the persons who activates a dvo.....something better than just walking in asking for one and walking out again.....as if a piece of paper will solve something....
its amazing isnt it we need to pass a test and get a licence to drive a car... yet a relationship/marriage requires nothing.......even getting a marriage licence doesnt mean you have to pass a relationship test just have the money.
Valkie talks abslote crap. Always. he's perhaps the worst among us.
But yes, anger management counselling is critical. This is what i hinted at when i said my colleague who deals with violent men is underrepresented. There simply aren't enough men going into the area and there is not enough money to fund those that do. Men like Grap blame that on feminists. it's not true of course. Leading people to understand the mechanisms of impulse control and the like are essential life tools for all of us, let alone someone going through messy relationship problems. And however wishfully we think, not all people arrive at adulthood with these skills.
We need much, massively much more funding and training of support staff. We need more men to come forward and be accepted.
In my experience, people don't want to be caught in relentless loops of destruction. They just don;t know how to get out of it.