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Domestic violence cases (Read 1531 times)
mothra
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #15 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:22am
 
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:09am:
mothra wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:04am:
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 6:53am:
mothra wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 6:36am:
Cods, with respect, you're never going to get a productive debate on family violence on this forum. I've tried and tried and tried.

It's just overflowing with hyper-defensive misogynists.

Sadder still i feel, the few good men rarely speak up.





yes I get that   out they come with their usual  BUT WOMEN....kinda ask for it... Sad

no reasonable chat sadly!

and I believe talking about this is the best thing we can do.....we are not in a position to change anything.  I have no clout thats for sure..but how can we sit back and read where children are now watching one parent kill the other  in front of them...
and say nothing because we might offend someone who seems to think we are men haters...INCREDIBLE..






I know. It's really frustrating. I've torn my hair out here trying hopelessly for fair-minded discussion.

It will not happen.
.
This is not the forum.

Grappler is obsessed. By his own admission he was handed a AVO years back from a partner he doesn't think he deserved. Legal actions were taken againslt him he doesn't think he deserved. He's championed the rights of men ever since.

You will not get reasoned debate form him. Everything he comments on on the subject is underlined with his fury at what he sees as persecution.

It's really sad.





doesnt mean  " sensible" people like you and I and maybe other women who do not need to be "right" all the time......to discuss such a serious problem in a lets find some solutions here...type of way..

to me its getting worse by the day... and thats the ones we hear about... what about all those silent cases. Sad



There is a dearth of people on this forum to discuss this sensibly.

I noticed in the other thread on this subject at the moment, they'd arrived at the conclusion that women often ask for it. And they mean it.

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Bobby.
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #16 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:27am
 
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:14am:
well as we do not have the death penalty in this country   AND NO WE NEVER WILL.....then yes it is flippant....do you have children bobs?....



We need hanging now more than ever -
our politicians are just too weak to re-introduce it.
Why should my children status affect anything?
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cods
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #17 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:30am
 
Bobby. wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:27am:
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:14am:
well as we do not have the death penalty in this country   AND NO WE NEVER WILL.....then yes it is flippant....do you have children bobs?....



We need hanging now more than ever -
our politicians are just too weak to re-introduce it.
Why should my children status affect anything?


because this is the seriousness of this thread.....children watching their mum being murdered...people are hanged AFTER THE CRIME   not before it..
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cods
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #18 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:33am
 
mothra wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:22am:
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:09am:
mothra wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:04am:
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 6:53am:
mothra wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 6:36am:
Cods, with respect, you're never going to get a productive debate on family violence on this forum. I've tried and tried and tried.

It's just overflowing with hyper-defensive misogynists.

Sadder still i feel, the few good men rarely speak up.





yes I get that   out they come with their usual  BUT WOMEN....kinda ask for it... Sad

no reasonable chat sadly!

and I believe talking about this is the best thing we can do.....we are not in a position to change anything.  I have no clout thats for sure..but how can we sit back and read where children are now watching one parent kill the other  in front of them...
and say nothing because we might offend someone who seems to think we are men haters...INCREDIBLE..






I know. It's really frustrating. I've torn my hair out here trying hopelessly for fair-minded discussion.

It will not happen.
.
This is not the forum.

Grappler is obsessed. By his own admission he was handed a AVO years back from a partner he doesn't think he deserved. Legal actions were taken againslt him he doesn't think he deserved. He's championed the rights of men ever since.

You will not get reasoned debate form him. Everything he comments on on the subject is underlined with his fury at what he sees as persecution.

It's really sad.





doesnt mean  " sensible" people like you and I and maybe other women who do not need to be "right" all the time......to discuss such a serious problem in a lets find some solutions here...type of way..

to me its getting worse by the day... and thats the ones we hear about... what about all those silent cases. Sad



There is a dearth of people on this forum to discuss this sensibly.

I noticed in the other thread on this subject at the moment, they'd arrived at the conclusion that women often ask for it. And they mean it.




yes it is a tough subject no doubt about it.and not everyone can handle it......its really up to people like us to change the minds of those who think women ask for it....if they really believe that  how come so many women are killed after they leave the relationship.

they hide they take out dvos...why is it their fault they get killed.... Roll Eyes
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Bobby.
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #19 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:33am
 
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:30am:
Bobby. wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:27am:
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:14am:
well as we do not have the death penalty in this country   AND NO WE NEVER WILL.....then yes it is flippant....do you have children bobs?....



We need hanging now more than ever -
our politicians are just too weak to re-introduce it.
Why should my children status affect anything?


because this is the seriousness of this thread.....children watching their mum being murdered...people are hanged AFTER THE CRIME   not before it..



Cods,
when you hang a man you better look at him:

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mothra
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #20 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:39am
 
And when it looks like two women may have a chance at dialogue on the issue, there's Bobby. Hanging mothers and fathers.
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mothra
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #21 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:43am
 
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:33am:
yes it is a tough subject no doubt about it.and not everyone can handle it......its really up to people like us to change the minds of those who think women ask for it....if they really believe that  how come so many women are killed after they leave the relationship.

they hide they take out dvos...why is it their fault they get killed.... Roll Eyes


True. Most women are killed leaving or soon after. And this indeed is why so many women stay,despite the outcries from the great unwashed on here that a woman who doesn't leave immediately oily has herself to blame.

I've heard it all on here.


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If you can't be a good example, you have to be a horrible warning.
 
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mothra
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #22 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:55am
 
As for restraining orders, in some cases they're actually contraindicated. Known to antagonise.

And that is NOT me agreeing with Grappler in any way, shape or form. Those antagonised into action are solely to blame, not victims.
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mothra
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #23 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:59am
 
I have a male colleague who works exclusively with male perpetrators of family violence. He's really hard to get into, so underrepresented is his position. Man, we need more like him.

But what he so often tells me that a big part of his job is "gently inviting" the bloke into understanding who is responsible for his behaviour.

Make of that what you will.

I can hear distant hoof beats ... Horseboy? I'm already hearing your comments.
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cods
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #24 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 8:49am
 
mothra wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:59am:
I have a male colleague who works exclusively with male perpetrators of family violence. He's really hard to get into, so underrepresented is his position. Man, we need more like him.

But what he so often tells me that a big part of his job is "gently inviting" the bloke into understanding who is responsible for his behaviour.

Make of that what you will.

I can hear distant hoof beats ... Horseboy? I'm already hearing your comments.



well without making too many waves   

as we have noticed the men who are steadfast in their belief...that women are more violent.... they do have a knack of blaming the other person for their own behavior valkie was very strong on who he holds responsible   and as he knows so many in those awful relationships    he has to know what he is talking about.. dont you thinK>

as it is its all debatable   and everyone can change their minds or their opinions....

my concern is this "problem." is growing and its growing fast and will make it all the harder for anyone to make any inroads.....and when it gets sidetracked  by the blame game... it turns people off of debating it..

I have suggested anger manage course for those who are served DVOs  maybe the same for the persons who activates a dvo.....something better than just walking in asking for one and walking out again.....as if a piece of paper will solve something....


its amazing isnt it  we need to pass a test and get a licence to drive a car... yet a relationship/marriage requires nothing.......even getting a marriage licence doesnt mean you have to pass a relationship  test just have the money.
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cods
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #25 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 8:52am
 
mothra wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:39am:
And when it looks like two women may have a chance at dialogue on the issue, there's Bobby. Hanging mothers and fathers.




at least he is reading along with us.....who knows it might even penetrate one day... Grin Grin
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mothra
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #26 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 9:00am
 
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 8:49am:
mothra wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 7:59am:
I have a male colleague who works exclusively with male perpetrators of family violence. He's really hard to get into, so underrepresented is his position. Man, we need more like him.

But what he so often tells me that a big part of his job is "gently inviting" the bloke into understanding who is responsible for his behaviour.

Make of that what you will.

I can hear distant hoof beats ... Horseboy? I'm already hearing your comments.



well without making too many waves   

as we have noticed the men who are steadfast in their belief...that women are more violent.... they do have a knack of blaming the other person for their own behavior valkie was very strong on who he holds responsible   and as he knows so many in those awful relationships    he has to know what he is talking about.. dont you thinK>

as it is its all debatable   and everyone can change their minds or their opinions....

my concern is this "problem." is growing and its growing fast and will make it all the harder for anyone to make any inroads.....and when it gets sidetracked  by the blame game... it turns people off of debating it..

I have suggested anger manage course for those who are served DVOs  maybe the same for the persons who activates a dvo.....something better than just walking in asking for one and walking out again.....as if a piece of paper will solve something....


its amazing isnt it  we need to pass a test and get a licence to drive a car... yet a relationship/marriage requires nothing.......even getting a marriage licence doesnt mean you have to pass a relationship  test just have the money.



Valkie talks abslote crap. Always. he's perhaps the worst among us.

But yes, anger management counselling is critical.  This is what i hinted at when i said my colleague who deals with violent men is underrepresented. There simply aren't enough men going into the area and there is not enough money to fund those that do. Men like Grap blame that on feminists. it's not true of course.  Leading people to understand the mechanisms of impulse control and the like are essential life tools for all of us, let alone someone going through messy relationship problems. And however wishfully we think, not all people arrive at adulthood with these skills.

We need much, massively much more funding and training of support staff. We need more men to come forward  and be accepted.

In my experience, people don't want to be caught in relentless loops of destruction. They just don;t know how to get out of it.
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cods
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #27 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 9:30am
 
I think one of the things about counselling  is those in need   have to sit and listen to what THEY do or say.. you know if we all wore cameras and took videos of the actions as they take place  I can only imagine those responsible would be horrified to see how they look and sound...

sadly that cant happen so the next thing is words....being confronted by your own words..with nowhere to hide.....as has been said owning your own faults is half way to changing them,

if a women is a harpy nagger   what is the reason behind that?   maybe if she learnt the right words to use things wold be different...

as you say both sides need to want the relationship to work....

looking for somewhere to park the blame never did work for me....give us the tools   see if they help..

and lets face it not everyone can be helped.....but if saving one life is worth it.. then we have to find the money...
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #28 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 9:45am
 
Argh, aye - and who gently talks the woman into accepting responsibiity for her behaviour?  the universal mantra seems to be to reassure the poor dear that she's not responsible, like any good child, and it's all the fault of that big ol' knuckle-dragger... your starting a senseless argument with him then hitting him and slamming him with a frying pan isn't violence - but when he cried out in anger and pain - that's violence!!  And being drunk doesn't lessen your lack of responsibiity either, dear...

Until we, as a society, knuckle-drag our minds out of this insane 'women v men' drama and start addressing genuine responsibility from all parties - including those in 'authority' who are now 'entitled' to over-step the line to 'resolve' these issues - there is no end in sight to the women men war going on for the past forty years now in the West - which is destroying our culture and our nations one by one.

What you knuckle-dragging 'academic' pussies need to do is get out in the mud for a while and see for real.... idiots savant...

Jeez - no wonder the committees of workers and soldiers decided to storm the Duma in 1917 and oust the academic types running the Russian Revolution.
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Grappler Truth Teller Feller
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Re: Domestic violence cases
Reply #29 - Jun 30th, 2020 at 9:47am
 
cods wrote on Jun 30th, 2020 at 9:30am:
I think one of the things about counselling  is those in need   have to sit and listen to what THEY do or say.. you know if we all wore cameras and took videos of the actions as they take place  I can only imagine those responsible would be horrified to see how they look and sound...

sadly that cant happen so the next thing is words....being confronted by your own words..with nowhere to hide.....as has been said owning your own faults is half way to changing them,

if a women is a harpy nagger   what is the reason behind that?   maybe if she learnt the right words to use things wold be different...

as you say both sides need to want the relationship to work....

looking for somewhere to park the blame never did work for me....give us the tools   see if they help..

and lets face it not everyone can be helped.....but if saving one life is worth it.. then we have to find the money...


Well put....
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“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”
― John Adams
 
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