there was a time  when we would say

not in front of the children..


now they murder each other in front of the children...



its unbelievable how low we have sunk as a society....

yes somehow our society is turning a blind eye to what is taking place..sure we notice and speak up AFTER the death...but its not stopping anything is it?...

what makes us tick has certainly changed....

there is no remorse in fact if they plead a certain way they get a reward of a lighter sentence.....

which they serve and then get on with the rest of their lives......all the while the victim is rotting in the grave  ten to one forgotten for the main part....


we accept that..... he/she gets to walk around in society  as if nothing happened....incredible..

I have seen DV many times in the past.

Friends, family, acquaintances and neighbours.

From both male and female

But probably more from female on male than the other way around.

There is much talk about men, with their "toxic masculinity" being the only perpetrator on DV.

But DV isn't only physical.

I have seen women harass, hound, harp and insult men to the point of suicide.
All in the knowledge of what they do and the fact that should he respond, he knows he will end up in gaol.

I have seen women hit, assault and attack men with everything they have on hand, secure in the knowledge tgat should he protect himself, he will end up in gaol and be ostracized.

I have seen women deliberately play around openly, knowing that when her husband loses it, he will end up in court.

Women hold the high hand in DV.
They can prove abuse by the bruises, he can only say what she did and she will deny it.
Courts give women more than half of what he has earned and made.
But if she leaves him with the kids, he most often gets nothing.

Three men I knew committed suicide because of what women have done to them.
Several have dissapeard, so as to hide from them and the law.

On the other side of the coin, I have seen women abused as well.
From partners who have been drunk, depressed or just plain stupid.

But to focus all efforts on women is not only unfair.
It also creates and fans the flames of a problem ignored.
Women are just as culpable as men in DV.
Perhaps not physically, but just as damaging.

How many times have you heard a woman say " ill make his life a living hell "
Or, " ill take him for everything he has"
These are well known tacticts used by the female in broken relationships.

It's too easy these days.
It's too easy for people to just walk away from a marriage and then attack from afar.
No longer do people Truely believe in "for better or worse"

I have been married for 40 years.
We both still love each other.
There have been hard times, some close to breaking point.
But we worked our way through them, because we know, deep down, that we are soul mates.
We believe in our love and see what has happened to so many around us.

DV isn't a one way street.
DV isn't only and singularly always the male at fault.
DV will never get better until these truths have been recognised, acknowledged and acted upon.

Domestic violence is going to remain a problem as long as people have a basic taker mentality

the truth is that in a relationship especially one that produces children
it has to be about other people and not about you

Modern society with its emphasis on
Ever increasing rights
Self actualisation
Self-esteem
Self fulfilment
And living the dream

Encourages this sort of crybaby mentality when things don't go your way

For a husband he needs to accept but his life is going to be hard as f a a r k
And he has to love that it is hard
For a wife she needs to accept that her role is going to be selflessly looking after children
And nurturing her husband so that he has to strength to face up
To the brutal harsh reality of life

A successful partnership particularly in raising children requires people to move into the giving mentality not the taking mentality

but look at our modern society that we have constructed
There is nothing noble about it
It is all about protesting yelling screaming and demanding that government be your perpetual mother

Government doesn't have a pulse
Government doesn't have ten fingers and ten toes
When you scream at Scott Morrison to fix your problems
You're really screaming at your fellow man to fix your problems
You're really announcing to the world that you are a taker

And when a taker  is put under pressure
He lashes out
Women may lash out verbally
Men may lash out physically
Relationships are high pressure environments

You need to train yourself hard to be the sort of creature that can smile in the face of adversity

Cods, with respect, you're never going to get a productive debate on family violence on this forum. I've tried and tried and tried.

It's just overflowing with hyper-defensive misogynists.

Sadder still i feel, the few good men rarely speak up.

mothra wrote on Jun 30^th, 2020 at 6:36am:





yes I get that   out they come with their usual  BUT WOMEN....kinda ask for it...

no reasonable chat sadly!

and I believe talking about this is the best thing we can do.....we are not in a position to change anything.  I have no clout thats for sure..but how can we sit back and read where children are now watching one parent kill the other  in front of them...
and say nothing because we might offend someone who seems to think we are men haters...INCREDIBLE..

cods wrote on Jun 30^th, 2020 at 6:53am:



I know. It's really frustrating. I've torn my hair out here trying hopelessly for fair-minded discussion.

It will not happen.
.
This is not the forum.

Grappler is obsessed. By his own admission he was handed a AVO years back from a partner he doesn't think he deserved. Legal actions were taken againslt him he doesn't think he deserved. He's championed the rights of men ever since.

You will not get reasoned debate form him. Everything he comments on on the subject is underlined with his fury at what he sees as persecution.

It's really sad.

cods wrote on Jun 30^th, 2020 at 6:56am:



I'm not being flippant -
murderers need to be hanged.