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cods

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sad news
Nov 9^th, 2019 at 5:15pm

how do you deal with the worst news?

this morning a friend wrote me how her husband has been diagnosed with a brain tumor I saw him a few months ago as bright as a button...now its terminal he has had an operation and will have some treatment but all it will do is maybe give him and her of course a few more months if that......having been through this terrible news....you would think I would know what to say or do.....it brought back my pain as you may have guessed... but I would like to help her cope...lucky she has her family close by and they are holding her up at the moment he is home and she is caring for him so she has plenty to do...but I know whats ahead of her.. he is the sweetest of men...I can never understand why its those who do nothing to warrant such dreadful news...that always seem to die early. he is only in his 60s... I am still coming to terms with the news...

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Jasin

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Re: sad news
Reply #1 - Nov 9^th, 2019 at 10:09pm

For me, Death should be just as happy a moment as being born is.
For some it is 'glorious' and to be 'remembered' down through the ages, as they die a heroic deed in battle.

I die when I am very old. Sitting under a tree, I examine my broken walking stick. A branch from above falls and knocks me on the head. Lights out! Alas, even my 'Family Tree' had kicked me out like a broken branch. Tongue

Sometimes, death is of our choosing.

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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.

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Yadda Gold Member Offline Posts: 20977 A cat with a view	Re: sad news Reply #2 - Nov 9^th, 2019 at 10:14pm Quote: how do you deal with the worst news? I don't know 'how to deal with it'. It is always a deeply cutting, and emotionally damaging, experience when it is someone very close to you. With time, the hurt fades.
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Dnarever

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Re: sad news
Reply #3 - Nov 9^th, 2019 at 10:55pm

I find that when you lose the people closest to you it changes who you are forever, you are never quite the same again.

I remember that when my grandmother died my Mother carried a little bit of sadness with her for the rest of her life.

They say that time heals I find that for many it doesn't but it does make it easier. The pain losses some of its sharpness and doesn't visit as often.

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cods

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Re: sad news
Reply #4 - Nov 10^th, 2019 at 6:26am

Dnarever wrote on Nov 9^th, 2019 at 10:55pm:

I find that when you lose the people closest to you it changes who you are forever, you are never quite the same again.

I remember that when my grandmother died my Mother carried a little bit of sadness with her for the rest of her life.

They say that time heals I find that for many it doesn't but it does make it easier. The pain losses some of its sharpness and doesn't visit as often.

oh definitely time fades thats all

some people can replace the person they lose...that didnt happen to me I didnt want it too......I know what my friend has to face ahead that doesnt help at all...

you are on the outside looking in...

never quite fitting in.....its a burden you cant share with anyone...

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Jasin Gold Member Offline Posts: 46595 Gender:	Re: sad news Reply #5 - Nov 10^th, 2019 at 8:38am Those that have died to me are only away, never absent from me.
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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: sad news Reply #6 - Nov 10^th, 2019 at 9:44am Jasin wrote on Nov 10^th, 2019 at 8:38am: Those that have died to me are only away, never absent from me. how about a long loving partner jasin?... one that you have become so used to having around and suddenly they are ripped away from you!
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Jasin

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Re: sad news
Reply #7 - Nov 10^th, 2019 at 5:15pm

cods wrote on Nov 10^th, 2019 at 9:44am:

Jasin wrote on Nov 10^th, 2019 at 8:38am:

Those that have died to me are only away, never absent from me.

how about a long loving partner jasin?... one that you have become so used to having around and suddenly they are ripped away from you! Sad

I'ld say go watch some Attenborough Doco's (Good one on Australia Wednesday night).

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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.

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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: sad news Reply #8 - Nov 12^th, 2019 at 5:27am my friend is off to the hospital today taking hubby to prepare for his radiation treatment which starts soon... I wish I had the words to help her through this.. jasin you obviously have never lost someone so close to you and I am glad for you....until you walk in their shoes.. have a nice day!
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Jasin

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Re: sad news
Reply #9 - Nov 12^th, 2019 at 7:48am

cods wrote on Nov 12^th, 2019 at 5:27am:

my friend is off to the hospital today taking hubby to prepare for his radiation treatment which starts soon...

I wish I had the words to help her through this..

jasin you obviously have never lost someone so close to you and I am glad for you....until you walk in their shoes.. Sad

have a nice day!

I've experienced many people die around me.
I've worked Palliative, Mental Health (Suicides) and more.
Being 'close' to someone is relative.
I look after a family atm - both parents will pass in a few years, as I and a few other 'staff' endeavour to give them a quality of life.

Dying should be a happy experience, just like being born - no? Huh

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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.

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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: sad news Reply #10 - Nov 13^th, 2019 at 7:26am ahh! so you feel no pain.. I get it.. it isnt the dying its the watching them fade away the lose of hope...the helplessness....you wouldnt understand that of course.....
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betty

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Re: sad news
Reply #11 - Nov 13^th, 2019 at 11:14am

cods wrote on Nov 13^th, 2019 at 7:26am:

ahh! so you feel no pain.. I get it..

it isnt the dying its the watching them fade away the lose of hope...the helplessness....you wouldnt understand that of course.....

Well he could try but what good would it do him I wondering ? He might try to understand and then think about it some more ?

Jasin give it a go and see what you come up with ?

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cods

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Re: sad news
Reply #12 - Nov 13^th, 2019 at 4:48pm

betty wrote on Nov 13^th, 2019 at 11:14am:

cods wrote on Nov 13^th, 2019 at 7:26am:

ahh! so you feel no pain.. I get it..

it isnt the dying its the watching them fade away the lose of hope...the helplessness....you wouldnt understand that of course.....

Well he could try but what good would it do him I wondering ? He might try to understand and then think about it some more ?

Jasin give it a go and see what you come up with ?

jasin thinks being in aged care and watching strangers pass is the same thing as watching a dear one pass.

its a bit like feeling the pain of watching a mate go to the dentist......its impossible unless you have been there.

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Jasin Gold Member Offline Posts: 46595 Gender:	Re: sad news Reply #13 - Nov 14^th, 2019 at 7:32am I'm not in Aged Care. In an over-populated world by 7 Billion. Life is cheap, but toilet paper is expensive. We need a cull, or the greater Death will be upon us - for all eternity. It's a throw away society Cods. You can't fix it. So just go out and buy yourself a new one.
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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: sad news Reply #14 - Nov 14^th, 2019 at 8:42am go away jasin this thread isnt for you... and I dont need this right now .. thanks anyway!
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