“I read about another rapist rabbi and I can’t function”
Dear Rabbonim,
I come to you with a mixture of pain, anguish and anger. I’ve heard about yet another very big “Rav” who is leading a double life.
To everyone on the outside he extolls the virtues of Yiddishkeit and the Torah and behind closed doors he’s a serial rapist. He abuses the innocent and vulnerable girls and women that come to him for shailos and guidance.
It’s two days after I heard about this and I’m still in shock. I literally can’t function. How can someone who claims to be so close to Hashem and purports to have emunah, stoop to such an extreme low, to transgress (time and time again) one of the three gravest sins of the entire Torah.
What bothers me even more, is when these allegations come to light, the rabbonim in town just lay low and choose to ignore these heinous crimes
At worst, the victim will either commit suicide or go off the derech and at best they would live their life as a frum Jew but everyday would be a struggle to get through the day. Every day would be a new battle necessitating new gear to plow through yet another day of the devastating effects of abuse. Another day of triggers and flashbacks that have such extreme power.
I know this battle because I’m a soldier fighting in its war every single day. No, I didn’t end my life. No, I didn’t go off the derech. No, I didn’t get into drugs or other pain numbing behaviors. Instead I chose to fight the battles head on. They don’t stop and don’t get easier. It takes years and years until there is a slightly noticeable difference in the severity of the battles. Yes, every day is a battle as there is not a day that goes by that I don’t struggle from my childhood abuse.
o I ask you, where are you all? Where are you hiding? Why are you laying so very low?
I see you at all the parlor meetings for Yeshivos and at the events collecting money for young orphans. We abuse victims are orphans. We lost our childhood. We lost our innocence. We lost our sense of trust and safety in the world. And now we are losing our sense of respect for you all. It hurts me to say this but this is how I feel and this is how so many other victims that I’ve spoken to feel.
Why is it that with every story that I hear about, I keep finding the same thing, that it was going on for years and nothing was done about it despite the fact that many of you knew about it
If you rabbonim don’t want to do anything, then why don’t we install video cameras in every Rav’s study? There’s a rule in the medical profession that if a male doctor needs to do an exam on a woman, they need another person in the room as a witness to appropriate conduct. What makes todays rabbonim “stronger” than these doctors. How can they be trusted to be in a room alone with women all day long? Just because an individual knows Halacha, it is hardly a safeguard against the worst inclinations of humanity.
If I tell you that the chief of police told me that if I would know all the cover ups that go on in our community I would run away, would that shake you up? Well, it shook me up and I think it should shake you out of your paralyzed state well. When will you make it your business to educate yourselves? When will you care about us victims and stop feeling bad for the reputation and families of the abusers?