In Mt Druitt we have many Turds passed off as Sausages.
When young and doin the 'sesh' in flannies, stubbies and thongs with the KB's flowin like a puddle in the corner of the garage.
I attended a 'Sesh' at a mates place (guy I didn't know from Letho). We were all eating Bangers n' Steaks from the BBQ (you know a good Barbie Bloke when he can cook it right while totally stoned!), listening to the Cricket on Radio (Windies floggin the Aussies). When a 'vibe' passed around us like a football being passed out the line. I instantly picked up that something was 'on'. Sure enough, one of the guys 'Gary from the back of Bidwill' (
"Back of Bidwill" was an area of Bidwill that was so bad, even the rest of Bidwill rejected it as being part of their 'burb'") - was the focus of the vibe.
It didn't take me long, stoned as I was on the purple weed of Jupiter, to pick up what was about to happen. There on Gary's plate was a 'turd' between two legit sausages. Now Gary's Sausages were broken, split and turned out. So they really didn't keep shape. As you could tell, our Barbie Bloke was too stoned to keep up the good work. But we were too stoned to complain anyway. Munchies are nothing to talk about when the mouth is full (Ancient Druitt Proverb).
So after Gary finished his earlier Sausage. He did, stoned as a munchkin with munchies, then pick up the 'solid, well formed TURD' and took a bite.
Silence and with
"Got him -yes!" by Bill Lawry in the background from the Radio, suddenly taking over the environment. Everyone, myself included, quietly watched Gary take another bite. Then another and finally the fourth and last bite. He then proceeded onto a Sausage again.
To say we were all 'gobsmacked' would be an understatement. The shock of what we just saw, showed that we didn't expect him to do that. That we thought he would cough up, spit out and get crappy with us straight away and thus trigger our massive laugh
Far outweighed the 'grossness' of what we just saw.
As Gary kept munching, oblivious to what had grabbed our attention and changed the world around him. We just started looking at each other for support, confirmation of what we just saw and something to break the silence of 10 other stoned stunned mullets.
"Well that's something that's gonna get around school real fast on Monday." Derek said finally. Somewhat perplexed as to what to think about what he too, just saw (but didn't help plan).
"So as I was saying..." Kerry said to the guy I knew only as Spag and the 'Turd n Gary' moment was quickly pushed into the 'Too Hard Basket' for us to cope with.
I would also say that no-one ate another Sausage off their plate after that. I know I didn't.
I soon learned that no-one liked Gary. No one liked anyone from the back of Bidwill anyway. It was a girl from this part of Bidwill that started a fight with a Plumpton girl during a Hockey match that ended up erupting on a massive scale and lasted like a full week. The Bidwill V Plumpton Riot involved 800 police having to 'Build a Wall' between the two areas until things settled. Brawls were erupting everywhere before the Cops arrived. Plumpton gangs up to 100 were pouring into Bidwill in retaliation and wrecking havoc and belting their way around. It was pretty full on and the Girls started it!
I remember being from Shalvey and becoming allied to Bidwill and twenty of us (I was a kid then) rode our bikes through Bidwill looking for Plumps! We never found anything directly, but we did find many places where Brawls had left people still standing attending their bloody faces with snot-rags and band-aids.
Anyway. Poor Gary did eventually click on to all the 'gross' stares he got at school and everyone reacting to him like a really bad smell.
I personally think that to this day - Gary is still not sure if he did in fact eat a Turd or that everyone is just messing with his head and making him think that he did, when he didn't. I kinda felt a tad sorry for Gary, but not much. Gary wasn't invited, no-one liked him and Gary just kinda turned up from a km away. He just came and went and did as he pleased. Even the school was happy that he didn't attend. You see, back in those days - no-one really knew what to do with guys like Gary who was known to molest kids much younger than him beyond just belting them around. Like Travis and the Murphy's much later in the 80's. Gary was the kind of guy that was damaged in the head from being beaten around a lot by his drunk old man (probably sodomised too) who was a nasty piece of work and in & out of Gaol.
In Kathmandu (where a lot of Indians are), I saw a man eat Turd for a performance for a few Rupee. I didn't pay him as I said
"I saw a guy in Mt Druitt eat one in a way that was pure Spiritual in its act!" The Indian Beggar was like a beaten man, not getting his ruppee
. I just expressed disgust at his bad breath and walked away.
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