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Aussie Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 37678 Gender:	Re: Off Topic Reply #60 - Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:35pm AiA wrote on Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:24pm: I got a PM instructing me to "ask Mary" regarding a question about Aussie. Who is Mary? Given you have already beached the 'PM content' Rule, you might as well say who you got it from.
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AiA Gold Member Offline Posts: 18405 Gender:	Re: Off Topic Reply #61 - Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:38pm Laugh till you cry wrote on Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:27pm: AiA wrote on Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:24pm: I got a PM instructing me to "ask Mary" regarding a question about Aussie. Who is Mary? Jesus's mother. On yer knees, knave. You mean, Mary, Mother of God? I am to ask her? Do I pray?
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Laugh till you cry

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Reply #62 - Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:49pm

AiA wrote on Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:38pm:

Laugh till you cry wrote on Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:27pm:

AiA wrote on Jan 1^st, 2019 at 2:24pm:

I got a PM instructing me to "ask Mary" regarding a question about Aussie. Who is Mary?

Jesus's mother. On yer knees, knave.

You mean, Mary, Mother of God? I am to ask her? Do I pray?

You need to do a lot of confessing and groveling to apologize for all your sins.

You should beg Gordon to return your balls.

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Please don't thank me. Effusive fawning and obeisance of disciples, mendicants, and foot-kissers embarrass me.

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Gordon Gold Member Online Australian Politics Posts: 20231 Gordon Gender:	Re: Off Topic Reply #63 - Feb 2^nd, 2019 at 9:24pm So it's a groundhog day type scenario. Woman does too much coke at a party, walks out and gets hit by a cab and re-spawns in the bathroom at the party. She goes through the same scenes, makes it a bit father than dies another way.
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Gordon Gold Member Online Australian Politics Posts: 20231 Gordon Gender:	Re: Off Topic Reply #64 - Feb 13^th, 2019 at 7:53am Off-Topic replies have been moved to this Topic.
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Mattyfisk

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Reply #65 - Feb 12^th, 2019 at 3:58pm

You could write one based on your own life, Gordon. It can be called Persian Princess.

It's a story about a veiled Muslim woman learning to express her sexuality - and the Canadian Yid who mentors her and brings her out of her devious Muslim shell to uncover a beautiful white princess.

A modern My Fair Lady, it explores the theme of becoming - becoming in love certainly, but also becoming free, leaving behind their evil Muslim conditioning and backward tinted ways to become more like us.

Hit songs include Touch Me There/the Call To Prayer, Force Me Into Marriage, I Don't Like Homous ( Not That There's Anything Wrong With It), Habibi Ha-baby, It's Raining Imams (Allah Uakbar), I Blame Islam (But That's Just Me), Mutilate Me Gently With Your Love, and a whole lot more.

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« Last Edit: Feb 12^th, 2019 at 5:33pm by Mattyfisk »

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Reply #66 - Feb 12^th, 2019 at 4:41pm

Or how about Boong Finger? A high-spirited young man on a football trip to Dubbo has an intimate liaison with one of the natives, proving to his friends he's not racist.

The Boongs find out and run him out of town, turning his life upside down with racist threats and black magic. He must confront the leader of their savage tribe/gang, and in so doing, confront his own personal demons.

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Reply #67 - Feb 12^th, 2019 at 7:04pm

A light-hearted romantic comedy: Curry King.

A light-skinned Indian lady moves into Gordon's toilet block. He instantly falls in love with her, proving he's not racist, but sadly, she has other ideas. She wants her toilet fixed, along with a whole list of repairs Gordon can't get right, no matter how hard he tries. We watch his bungling attempts to bring her around with horror, all to no avail. With each calamity - pipes bursting and toilets exploding in his face - she turns off him even more (the bursting pipe, of course, is a visual metaphor for Gordon's premature ejaculation).

The Indian lady has her eyes on a rich property developer who plans to take over the neighbourhood and sell it to a Chinese conglomerate. Only one place is holding up his plans - Gordon's toilet block. The boss offers her marriage, but he has one condition - she must first talk Gordon into selling. A virtuous woman from a good family, she initially resists, but her greedy sisters talk her into it.

How? How else? There are only two ways a woman can influence a man - through his "you know what" and his stomach. She must pretend to fall in love with Gordon and raise his "you know what". Her father doesn't mind as long as she keeps feeding him dosas.

So she agrees to go on a date with Gordon. But, in spite of herself, as they stroll down the Parramatta river in the sunset, she finds herself liking him. Gordon, you see, is an honest man - certainly not a racist. The boss is only interested in money. Gordon is interested in love. They come to the fountain in the Church Street Mall. This sets the stage for the moment she falls in love with Gordon and they both dance and sing. She opens her heart and calls out to him, her sari blowing in the wind. He wobbles his head, puts his hand on his heart and promises to be faithful. The government workers and junkies and Big Issue sellers all dance around and agree.

But the boss isn't happy. He still wants Gordon's toilet. He sends his goons around to break Gordon's legs, but Gordon's clumsy attempts to divert them see their motorbikes skidding off the road and pipes and toilets falling on their heads, knocking them out. Her father takes the last one out with a frypan without looking up as he tastes a dish on the stove.

In the final scene, we see the rabbi and the wedding and her breaking the glass with her shoe, proving once and for all Gordon's not racist. Gordon went to India once. Not only does he rent these people flats and saves them from being built out by Chinese conglomerates, he even marries them.

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Frank

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Reply #68 - Feb 12^th, 2019 at 9:52pm

Mattyfisk wrote on Feb 12^th, 2019 at 7:04pm:

A light-hearted romantic comedy: Curry King.

A light-skinned Indian lady moves into Gordon's toilet block. He instantly falls in love with her, proving he's not racist, but sadly, she has other ideas. She wants her toilet fixed, along with a whole list of repairs Gordon can't get right, no matter how hard he tries. We watch his bungling attempts to bring her around with horror, all to no avail. With each calamity - pipes bursting and toilets exploding in his face - she turns off him even more (the bursting pipe, of course, is a visual metaphor for Gordon's premature ejaculation).

The Indian lady has her eyes on a rich property developer who plans to take over the neighbourhood and sell it to a Chinese conglomerate. Only one place is holding up his plans - Gordon's toilet block. The boss offers her marriage, but he has one condition - she must first talk Gordon into selling. A virtuous woman from a good family, she initially resists, but her greedy sisters talk her into it.

How? How else? There are only two ways a woman can influence a man - through his "you know what" and his stomach. She must pretend to fall in love with Gordon and raise his "you know what". Her father doesn't mind as long as she keeps feeding him dosas.

So she agrees to go on a date with Gordon. But, in spite of herself, as they stroll down the Parramatta river in the sunset, she finds herself liking him. Gordon, you see, is an honest man - certainly not a racist. The boss is only interested in money. Gordon is interested in love. They come to the fountain in the Church Street Mall. This sets the stage for the moment she falls in love with Gordon and they both dance and sing. She opens her heart and calls out to him, her sari blowing in the wind. He wobbles his head, puts his hand on his heart and promises to be faithful. The government workers and junkies and Big Issue sellers all dance around and agree.

But the boss isn't happy. He still wants Gordon's toilet. He sends his goons around to break Gordon's legs, but Gordon's clumsy attempts to divert them see their motorbikes skidding off the road and pipes and toilets falling on their heads, knocking them out. Her father takes the last one out with a frypan without looking up as he tastes a dish on the stove.

In the final scene, we see the rabbi and the wedding and her breaking the glass with her shoe, proving once and for all Gordon's not racist. Gordon went to India once. Not only does he rent these people flats and saves them from being built out by Chinese conglomerates, he even marries them.

Stick to cleaning - and haunting - 'multicultural' community toilets, Paki. You know you want to.

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Mattyfisk

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Re: Off Topic
Reply #69 - Feb 12^th, 2019 at 10:31pm

Frank wrote on Feb 12^th, 2019 at 9:52pm:

Mattyfisk wrote on Feb 12^th, 2019 at 7:04pm:

A light-hearted romantic comedy: Curry King.

A light-skinned Indian lady moves into Gordon's toilet block. He instantly falls in love with her, proving he's not racist, but sadly, she has other ideas. She wants her toilet fixed, along with a whole list of repairs Gordon can't get right, no matter how hard he tries. We watch his bungling attempts to bring her around with horror, all to no avail. With each calamity - pipes bursting and toilets exploding in his face - she turns off him even more (the bursting pipe, of course, is a visual metaphor for Gordon's premature ejaculation).

The Indian lady has her eyes on a rich property developer who plans to take over the neighbourhood and sell it to a Chinese conglomerate. Only one place is holding up his plans - Gordon's toilet block. The boss offers her marriage, but he has one condition - she must first talk Gordon into selling. A virtuous woman from a good family, she initially resists, but her greedy sisters talk her into it.

How? How else? There are only two ways a woman can influence a man - through his "you know what" and his stomach. She must pretend to fall in love with Gordon and raise his "you know what". Her father doesn't mind as long as she keeps feeding him dosas.

So she agrees to go on a date with Gordon. But, in spite of herself, as they stroll down the Parramatta river in the sunset, she finds herself liking him. Gordon, you see, is an honest man - certainly not a racist. The boss is only interested in money. Gordon is interested in love. They come to the fountain in the Church Street Mall. This sets the stage for the moment she falls in love with Gordon and they both dance and sing. She opens her heart and calls out to him, her sari blowing in the wind. He wobbles his head, puts his hand on his heart and promises to be faithful. The government workers and junkies and Big Issue sellers all dance around and agree.

But the boss isn't happy. He still wants Gordon's toilet. He sends his goons around to break Gordon's legs, but Gordon's clumsy attempts to divert them see their motorbikes skidding off the road and pipes and toilets falling on their heads, knocking them out. Her father takes the last one out with a frypan without looking up as he tastes a dish on the stove.

In the final scene, we see the rabbi and the wedding and her breaking the glass with her shoe, proving once and for all Gordon's not racist. Gordon went to India once. Not only does he rent these people flats and saves them from being built out by Chinese conglomerates, he even marries them.

Stick to cleaning - and haunting - 'multicultural' community toilets, Paki. You know you want to.

Thanks, dear boy. C U there, eh?

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Frank

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Reply #70 - Feb 12^th, 2019 at 10:35pm

Mattyfisk wrote on Feb 12^th, 2019 at 10:31pm:

Frank wrote on Feb 12^th, 2019 at 9:52pm:

Mattyfisk wrote on Feb 12^th, 2019 at 7:04pm:

A light-hearted romantic comedy: Curry King.

A light-skinned Indian lady moves into Gordon's toilet block. He instantly falls in love with her, proving he's not racist, but sadly, she has other ideas. She wants her toilet fixed, along with a whole list of repairs Gordon can't get right, no matter how hard he tries. We watch his bungling attempts to bring her around with horror, all to no avail. With each calamity - pipes bursting and toilets exploding in his face - she turns off him even more (the bursting pipe, of course, is a visual metaphor for Gordon's premature ejaculation).

The Indian lady has her eyes on a rich property developer who plans to take over the neighbourhood and sell it to a Chinese conglomerate. Only one place is holding up his plans - Gordon's toilet block. The boss offers her marriage, but he has one condition - she must first talk Gordon into selling. A virtuous woman from a good family, she initially resists, but her greedy sisters talk her into it.

How? How else? There are only two ways a woman can influence a man - through his "you know what" and his stomach. She must pretend to fall in love with Gordon and raise his "you know what". Her father doesn't mind as long as she keeps feeding him dosas.

So she agrees to go on a date with Gordon. But, in spite of herself, as they stroll down the Parramatta river in the sunset, she finds herself liking him. Gordon, you see, is an honest man - certainly not a racist. The boss is only interested in money. Gordon is interested in love. They come to the fountain in the Church Street Mall. This sets the stage for the moment she falls in love with Gordon and they both dance and sing. She opens her heart and calls out to him, her sari blowing in the wind. He wobbles his head, puts his hand on his heart and promises to be faithful. The government workers and junkies and Big Issue sellers all dance around and agree.

But the boss isn't happy. He still wants Gordon's toilet. He sends his goons around to break Gordon's legs, but Gordon's clumsy attempts to divert them see their motorbikes skidding off the road and pipes and toilets falling on their heads, knocking them out. Her father takes the last one out with a frypan without looking up as he tastes a dish on the stove.

In the final scene, we see the rabbi and the wedding and her breaking the glass with her shoe, proving once and for all Gordon's not racist. Gordon went to India once. Not only does he rent these people flats and saves them from being built out by Chinese conglomerates, he even marries them.

Stick to cleaning - and haunting - 'multicultural' community toilets, Paki. You know you want to.

Thanks, dear boy. C U there, eh?

No, it's all your domain, paki.

Slober away.

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Mattyfisk

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Reply #71 - Feb 13^th, 2019 at 7:36am

Old boy? 2000 Man. A sci fi.

The tinted barbarians have attacked. The old boy is called back from the dead to avenge the attacks and save the empire from becoming tinted.

They send him in to depose an evil tyrant and cull Darkie, but alas, the old boy gets it all wrong. He invades the wrong country and kills the wrong tyrant.

The future? Oh no, the past.

Always, absolutely, never ever.

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Jasin

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Reply #72 - Feb 13^th, 2019 at 9:01pm

Mattyfisk wrote on Feb 12^th, 2019 at 3:58pm:

You could write one based on your own life, Gordon. It can be called Persian Princess.

It's a story about a veiled Muslim woman learning to express her sexuality - and the Canadian Yid who mentors her and brings her out of her devious Muslim shell to uncover a beautiful white princess.

A modern My Fair Lady, it explores the theme of becoming - becoming in love certainly, but also becoming free, leaving behind their evil Muslim conditioning and backward tinted ways to become more like us.

Hit songs include Touch Me There/the Call To Prayer, Force Me Into Marriage, I Don't Like Homous ( Not That There's Anything Wrong With It), Habibi Ha-baby, It's Raining Imams (Allah Uakbar), I Blame Islam (But That's Just Me), Mutilate Me Gently With Your Love, and a whole lot more.

Well KARNAL Knowledge and what worthy writers are those of the poor side of the Middle-East... no? Huh

Your story aroused a memory of when I deflowered a very attractive and innocent looking 40 year old MOSLEM virgin.
So when I brought her back to my grotty little hobo bedsitter shoebox room in some backwater delinquent Boarding House of nightly police visits. I just began taking my clothes off. She did too - but she said "I've never done this before". Verbally expressing her virginity to me. 'Dang, I thought - I was hoping for something more ...slutty'. Oh well, no time to think about it as I was eager for a root regardless if it was a young Barbarella from a very old movie. I had just walked into the workplace for the first time at my new job and she just walked past me and gave my waist a little 'poke' as she went about her business. That night, she was at my place.
So breaking her in was a mighty effort. With a young female, all you need is the combination or key to the lock - which you can buy at the liquor store or the local pot-dealer.
It's a tight and tender entry into her love palace.
But for a 'Woman' to be a Virgin at 40 years of age - well, I also needed a crow-bar, bolt-cutters, sledge-hammer and jack-hammer to get in. Real hard work for a man, I can tell you! Wink

Eventually, I politely let her know that I was about to plant my seed in her - she gasped in expectation and held me tight!
Over the course of my seeding of my Moslem virgin 'woman'. I was invited often to her house full of Moslem Brothers - all of whom had hoped to keep her as their 'slave', no kids of her own, no marriage - just pure dedication to her brothers whims and weens.
So after I $%&^*ed her heaps, I eventually gave her back to her brothers and said "There you go - she's all fixed and adapted to Australian Standards. That'll be $500 please!"

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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.

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Mattyfisk Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 92360 Gender:	Re: Off Topic Reply #73 - Feb 13^th, 2019 at 10:08pm Good story, JaSin. You're not racist. You did a deal with the Muselman and his woman.
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polite_gandalf Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 20023 Canberra Gender:	Re: Russian Doll Reply #74 - Feb 15^th, 2019 at 2:58pm gordon wouldn't it be better putting these threads in chat or something? Not exactly relevant to this sub-forum.
Back to top	A resident Islam critic who claims to represent western values said: Quote: Outlawing the enemy's uniform - hijab, islamic beard - is not depriving one's own people of their freedoms. IP Logged