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Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls (Read 3035 times)
Cu Chulainn
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #15 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 7:37pm
 
I'm pretty sure I've mentioned the runaway girl we took in a few years ago, really pretty girl but heaps of issues, my youngest brought her around one day as "she was kicked out of where she lived". I asked where is her stuff(clothes etc)? "The place she was staying won't give them back". I said to son, you know, to me it sounds like she's run away from home and has just been staying at friends houses. This is exactly what had happened. Her mum was from Lismore and moved to Brisbane and she ran away from there to come back here.

She was a cutter, not as bad as some I've seen. We tried to get her back into school, bought her clothes, fed her. The friends she had come back to be with were scum. I denied her access to them, she tried to lie a few times but being a father know what to go was and stopped it. We treated her like we would our own child. My wife took her shopping for new clothes, we went on family weekend barbies etc. Over time and talking she let that wanting to hang with the losers go, settled down quite a lot.

We had been in contact with her mum and she seemed really worried but wasn't demanding we turn her over, which she could have, she was 15. Anyway, we eventually got them reconciled, her mum came and picked her up and then things went to poo again. I tried to advise her mum about how to deal with her, as we had but her mum just went fruitloops and severed contact. For some reason so did Rachael. I suspect she ran away again and the two retaining wall blocks thrown at my son's car were related.

I honestly wish we had not contacted her mother, no-one can live up to a mad woman's dreams and insanity and she blamed her daughter for her failings as a mother, blamed her for any bad influence on her younger sister. Rachael felt she was deserving of punishment because everything was her fault and would punish herself to ease the pain she felt.

Nothing to do with religion, I'm not religious. Care, boundaries, calm home life, lack of blame, talking things through without rancour, treating them like you care about people, protecting them and explaining your decisions if needed.
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Cu Chulainn
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #16 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 7:59pm
 
edit to the above: Because I wanted her to have something she could read and hold in her room at night when she felt down and wanted to cut herself I printed this for her.

Quote:
Rachel,
If you want or need help, we will help you. I think that has been made clear by what we have tried to do for you so far. Our help didn't have conditions, we didn't judge you, we welcomed you into our home and have tried to make it your home too.

We did this for you because everyone deserves a chance of a happy life, a life that is good and makes them feel wanted, loved and worth being alive. Our lives haven't been all rose gardens and we have tried to make our kids better than ours. I think we have succeeded to a great extent. We can only help you, guide you, advise you if you want more out of life than you have.

I'm sure you can see we have gone out of our way for you, that, in and of it's self, should show we ae serious. We want you to be happy and grow into a beautiful, confident woman who can do the same for her children. Unhappy people bring up unhappy children and no child deserves sadness.

You need to make some life choices. You need to decide what you want your life to be, what you want your childrens lives to be, you will almost certainly have them. You're not far off being an adult, do you see your future like your present? Unless you change direction, give up bad friends and bad habits and embrace good friends and people it will be and that will be a waste of another life.

It takes strength of purpose to try to be all that you can be, it's not easy but what is the alternative? A life of unhappiness? You know better than I what your life is like and no matter what we do, we can not help you unless you want to be helped. I really hope you want the help we are offereing, you deserve better than what you are doing to yourself now..

Sure, changing your life may be boring at times, days may drag, nights feeling lonely or depressed. Life is like that sometimes. It's just a part of the up and down of it. I know I'm not always happy with my life, it sucks sometimes. To be honest, seeing a great young person self destruct makes me feel down. You are not an island, what you do affects those that care about you, just as what Stephanie does affects you.

I've never had a daughter, I'm not practiced in it at all, so I though I'd write this for you. I've had three sons though and they have all turned out to be pretty good people. I think a large part of that is that they trusted us and our judgement and they could understand and see when we would say things like "that person is not your friend" or "can you see what that person" is trying to do?

If you choose bad friends, you will conform to their norms, your friends are a relection of you. Good friends care for you, not what they get from you. Good friends want the best for you, good friends support you, if someone does not want the best for you, they are not your friend, even if you want them to be, even if it hurts to cut them free. You will always lose in a relationship like that.

Anyway, like I've said, I have no experience in dealing with talking to girls that are growing up. I can give it a go but it has to be a two way thing like it has been with my sons and you know, all good relationships are based on that. If you trust us, we'll trust you, any relationship grows from there. You can't keep hiding if you want help, be honest, help us help you.

To be honest, if it was one of my sons going through doing what you are doing to yourself, I'd be beside myself with worry and grief. I can tell you honestly it was hard for me tonight(13/8/2012) to just sit here and hear the messages on FB and not be able to do anything and it really saddened me when you didn't come here(home?) to sleep. You really need to value yourself and allow those that would value you to do so.

Have a good think about what you want out of life, embrace those that will help you achieve it. Those that don't want that for you are not your friends and are probably using you for their own ends, emotional  or physical. No-one can do it all for you, they can only help or hinder your wishes.

Cheers,
        Doug.


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« Last Edit: Sep 12th, 2018 at 8:08pm by Cu Chulainn »  
 
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Jasin
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #17 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 8:02pm
 
PZ547 wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:35pm:
Gnads wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:33pm:
Jasin wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:00pm:
The majority of suicidal/self destructive cases that came into Emergency departments (to be monitored, specialled, etc) - were
1. Based on religious beliefs (a lot of young moslems kids were in because they found it difficult trying to please Australia, while also trying to please their own Middle-Easternised parents)
2. Media/Celebrity - Party attitude of just getting drunk/drugged beyond control to have a good time  Roll Eyes
3. Broken Families: kids with none or one parent or parental abusiveness.

There were others, but not as common.

The joke is:
How do you kill an Aussie?
Leave them alone and they will do it themselves.

A lot of Australia's self-loathing, is based on its 'criminal' (Convict) past. Obviously, there is no 'pride' in being a criminal, though some do try the short cut and try to take pride in such things like Ned Kelly, etc - by 'glorifying' crime, just like they do with Piracy.
But that's how 'denial' works. It's a false Australian sense of culture.

Personally, these young girls just need some of that illegal boat people meat to make them their wives. They breed young and early anyway. These girls don't want to be Germaine Greers (childless, bitter old over-achievers for USA money and fame). They just want to have babies.

...but we all know 'breeding' in Australia is a 'crime'  Wink


That's crap.

They don't need that at all. They have plenty of Australian males willing to breed with them

and that's exactly what they are doing.




I agree.  That post by Ja sin is crap.  Maybe he's having an off-day

Crap in more ways than one


Nah, its true.
Media just released a more 'successful' IVF outcome (because a lot 'fails' or the kids grow to just keep licking windows like it was a test tube from way back).
Looks like 'population growth' here is pretty fragile and 'technologically dependent' like a handicap to a wheelchair.
Seems white women have to go to Sperm banks to have kids here and the only real regular donors are Gay white males and Indian/Pakistani males.
The Sperm bank is crying for more 'sperm'!
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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.
 
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Yadda
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #18 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:16pm
 
freediver wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:49pm:

Is that 800,000 per year in the US alone?

A lot of the increase could possibly be put down to more honest reporting and more investigative effort. People historically prefer to say someone died by accident rather than suicide.




FD,       that is 800,000 per year worldwide, looks like,      though the article didn't specify that it was a 'whole world' suicide figure.



Google;
WHO, about 800,000 people die by suicide every year


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"....And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead."
Luke 16:31
 
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Cu Chulainn
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #19 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:49pm
 
Yadda wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:16pm:
freediver wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:49pm:

Is that 800,000 per year in the US alone?

A lot of the increase could possibly be put down to more honest reporting and more investigative effort. People historically prefer to say someone died by accident rather than suicide.




FD,       that is 800,000 per year worldwide, looks like,      though the article didn't specify that it was a 'whole world' suicide figure.



Google;
WHO, about 800,000 people die by suicide every year




It's not the lack of your god that makes them suicide. It's their perceived lack of hope. Why isn't your god providing that? Oh that's right, it's all planned out in the book, your god created them that way.

I lack your god and I'm not suicidal.

edit: Anyone who needs a god for their well being is of weak character. Those that cannot stand on their own. That is the purpose of religion, to help those who cannot help themselves. It gives them a belief, a dad that will look after them, a future even though they know they are dead. It supports the weak.

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« Last Edit: Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:09pm by Cu Chulainn »  
 
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Yadda
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #20 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:07pm
 
Cu Chulainn wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:49pm:
Yadda wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:16pm:
freediver wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:49pm:

Is that 800,000 per year in the US alone?

A lot of the increase could possibly be put down to more honest reporting and more investigative effort. People historically prefer to say someone died by accident rather than suicide.




FD,       that is 800,000 per year worldwide, looks like,      though the article didn't specify that it was a 'whole world' suicide figure.



Google;
WHO, about 800,000 people die by suicide every year




It's not the lack of your god that makes them suicide. It's their perceived lack of hope. Why isn't your god providing that? Oh that's right, it's all planned out in the book, your god created them that way.

I lack your god and I'm not suicidal.




Cu Chullain,

My response to your post,    ....is here.

------- >

http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1516795090/0#0


Don't you want free will ?

Don't you want the right, to make mistakes ?

Or,        do you simply want no one else to have such a right ?


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"....And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead."
Luke 16:31
 
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Cu Chulainn
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #21 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:11pm
 
Yadda wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:07pm:
Cu Chulainn wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:49pm:
Yadda wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:16pm:
freediver wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:49pm:

Is that 800,000 per year in the US alone?

A lot of the increase could possibly be put down to more honest reporting and more investigative effort. People historically prefer to say someone died by accident rather than suicide.




FD,       that is 800,000 per year worldwide, looks like,      though the article didn't specify that it was a 'whole world' suicide figure.



Google;
WHO, about 800,000 people die by suicide every year




It's not the lack of your god that makes them suicide. It's their perceived lack of hope. Why isn't your god providing that? Oh that's right, it's all planned out in the book, your god created them that way.

I lack your god and I'm not suicidal.




Cu Chullain,

My response to your post,    ....is here.

------- >

http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1516795090/0#0


Don't you want free will ?

Don't you want the right, to make mistakes ?

Or,        do you simply want no one else to have such a right ?


See my edit and I'm not bound by your insanity.
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Yadda
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #22 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:19pm
 
Cu Chulainn wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:11pm:
Yadda wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:07pm:
Cu Chulainn wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:49pm:
Yadda wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:16pm:
freediver wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:49pm:

Is that 800,000 per year in the US alone?

A lot of the increase could possibly be put down to more honest reporting and more investigative effort. People historically prefer to say someone died by accident rather than suicide.




FD,       that is 800,000 per year worldwide, looks like,      though the article didn't specify that it was a 'whole world' suicide figure.



Google;
WHO, about 800,000 people die by suicide every year




It's not the lack of your god that makes them suicide. It's their perceived lack of hope. Why isn't your god providing that? Oh that's right, it's all planned out in the book, your god created them that way.

I lack your god and I'm not suicidal.




Cu Chullain,

My response to your post,    ....is here.

------- >

http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1516795090/0#0


Don't you want free will ?

Don't you want the right, to make mistakes ?

Or,        do you simply want no one else to have such a right ?


See my edit and I'm not bound by your insanity.




And neither am i,      by yours.




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"....And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead."
Luke 16:31
 
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Jasin
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #23 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:32pm
 
I think that God, Allah, Yalweh, Buddha, etc - does/do provide a saving grace from suicide.
It's proven.

But
'God'
is not the only answer.
The Medical Industry provides an answer.
Even a kid, lifting himself/herself out of their 'self destruction' and discovering 'Politics' of all things, is a saving grace from Suicide.


Ever notice that male Musicians/Celebrities/Entertainers in the USA and Australian Sportsmen are a lot more 'self destructive' and Suicidal - than the 'females'?
Why is that?
Is it because of God?
Not to any great extent to be considered the
ONLY
answer.

That's the insanity of the Human race - to think there is ONLY ONE RIGHT ANSWER.

Even when in the Medical Industry - there were just some things that it couldn't do for its patients ...they had to go further afield.

Feeling
BLUE
with Depression?
The pharmaceuticals and councilling just not working as good as you thought...

...then you take a dive into that
DEEP BLUE
out in the ocean and suddenly everything just washes away.
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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.
 
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Cu Chulainn
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #24 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:34pm
 
Yadda wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:07pm:
Cu Chulainn wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:49pm:
Yadda wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 9:16pm:
freediver wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 12:49pm:

Is that 800,000 per year in the US alone?

A lot of the increase could possibly be put down to more honest reporting and more investigative effort. People historically prefer to say someone died by accident rather than suicide.




FD,       that is 800,000 per year worldwide, looks like,      though the article didn't specify that it was a 'whole world' suicide figure.



Google;
WHO, about 800,000 people die by suicide every year




It's not the lack of your god that makes them suicide. It's their perceived lack of hope. Why isn't your god providing that? Oh that's right, it's all planned out in the book, your god created them that way.

I lack your god and I'm not suicidal.




Cu Chullain,

My response to your post,    ....is here.

------- >

http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1516795090/0#0


Don't you want free will ?

Don't you want the right, to make mistakes ?

Or,        do you simply want no one else to have such a right ?




Your god does not give me free will Yadda. You know that. Just as leaving a child in front of a fire and saying "do not touch" then leaving the tent, the child, unsupervised, after your goading, then touches the fire is the child's fault. Your god is an abomination that blames children for touching the fire. A sick god, a god of control, a god that tempts then blames innocents. Your god is an arsehole.

Edit: If you don't get the metaphor to"original sin" there, there is not hope for you.
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Jasin
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #25 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:52pm
 
Don't worry.

Before the New Worlds were discovered (and the Tree of Life tasted).
The Religions of Judaism, Christianity & Mohommedism sprouted out of the Middle-East to steal from Asia, oppress Europe and keep Africa in the dark.

Now that the New Worlds have come onto the scene. The Tree of Knowledge (Religion) means nothing to the three Old Worlds and those Religions are being ignored, rejected and destroyed slowly.
They are falling back into the hole whence they came.

Asia, Europe & Africa now adhere to the MEDIA (& Science) of OCEANIA.  Wink
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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.
 
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Cu Chulainn
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #26 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 11:02pm
 
Jasin wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:52pm:
Don't worry.

Before the New Worlds were discovered (and the Tree of Life tasted).
The Religions of Judaism, Christianity & Mohommedism sprouted out of the Middle-East to steal from Asia, oppress Europe and keep Africa in the dark.

Now that the New Worlds have come onto the scene. The Tree of Knowledge (Religion) means nothing to the three Old Worlds and those Religions are being ignored, rejected and destroyed slowly.
They are falling back into the hole whence they came.

Asia, Europe & Africa now adhere to the MEDIA (& Science) of OCEANIA.  Wink


Too much lead in your life, Jasin?
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Jasin
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #27 - Sep 12th, 2018 at 11:17pm
 
Maybe some Heavy Metal
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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.
 
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #28 - Sep 13th, 2018 at 6:48am
 
everyone has a "religion".
and what people "say' they believe has nothing to do with it.

if you watch how people "act" then thats their religion.

and action requires that you believe and pursue certain things as being more worthy of believing and pursuing then other things.

so you HAVE a belief system whether you admit it or not.

the world is incredibly complex. you cant navigate a way forward without such a belief system.
it simplifies the world for you.
we are always doing this.

you simplify the world by having walls and rooves.
you dotn notice most things until they go wrong.
you really only notice your motor vehicle when it breaks down.

and then you are back in that complex world (which you dont like) and your stress levels go up.


what is the correct belief system.


this now depends on an understanding of darwin (who was a genius).

the correct belief system is the one which allows the species to survive.
for about 60 million years , whatever we have been believing in has worked because from a pragmatic view, we are still here.
and that makes our previous belief systems "true enough".

the modern man has chucked all that aside as superstition and dogma.
he believes in science and technology.
he sees the world as a world of objects...a world of mobile phones and cars and chairs.

this is very very recent.

people, even 500 years ago did not see the world like that.

and what has been the result of us placing all our trust in this belief of the enlightenment ?

well a couple of world wars, belief systems which are totalitarian, having enough nuclear weapons to wipe out the speicies (which may well happen) and environmental catastrophe.

so , from a darwinian point of view, you would have to say that the current belief system, the current religion, is not "true".

believe in it if you want, throw out the previous 60 million years of evolutionary biology which has made you what you are and believe that you now have all the amswers

see how far that gets you.

and when people self harm, i think they are having an existential crisis, because their underlying biology knows that they are not going down the right road.

is yaddas bible on the right road?
the narrative , at least , is the distillation of wisdom from 1000's of years that enabled us to move forward.
the pyshcological truths of the narrative are the collected wisdom of our historic uncsonscious.
i probably wouldnt just casually throw that out and rely on science.

you know scientists in russia seriously tried to cross ebola with smallpox .
thats where science can lead you if you just believe in it solely as the new religion
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Re: Shocking Rise in Self-Harm Among 14-Year-Old Girls
Reply #29 - Sep 13th, 2018 at 8:41am
 
Cu Chulainn wrote on Sep 12th, 2018 at 10:34pm:

Your god does not give me free will Yadda.

You know that.

Just as leaving a child in front of a fire and saying "do not touch" then leaving the tent, the child, unsupervised, after your goading, then touches the fire is the child's fault.


Your god is an abomination that blames children for touching the fire.

A sick god, a god of control, a god that tempts then blames innocents.

Your god is an arsehole.






That is      the God     which you, know.

He is not the God i know.

Q.
How come we see such a different God [from the same source - Jewish/ Christian scripture] ?


Cu Chullain,

That [i.e. your attitude towards 'a guiding authority'],     is what you 'brought to it', to your attitude to God's authority,   yourself.

You 'created' that God [the God, you hate], because that it what is in your heart.

And, what is it,       that is in your heart ?

Rebellion.




"Your god is an arsehole."

e.g.
I don't see evil,      in this message of proper guidance and proper control.

------- >


Never old.

IMAGE....
...




.




Cu Chullain,

Persons like yourself are in rebellion.      ....against the spirit,     of God.

That attitude [your attitude], is a    'corrupt fruit'     in God's eyes.

And      'the harvest of the earth'      is something which persons like yourself will not be able to avoid.      ....me neither.



Matthew 12:32
And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
33  Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.


Matthew 7:19
Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.



Cu Chullain,

Not, 'an aresole God'.



He is a God of truth,      and righteousness,      and justice.

He, is the God i respect, and LOVE.




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"....And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead."
Luke 16:31
 
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