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Cash-strapped (Read 1040 times)

greggerypeccary

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Cash-strapped
May 7^th, 2018 at 3:48pm

It has been revealed today in a morning newspoll that most Australian voters would be perfectly able to go about their day to day lives if Liberal backbencher Michaelia Cash were unemployed. While Australia knows that it would have a cut back on certain lifestyle choices, such as leaking important federal police raids to the media and falsely accusing opposition politicians of sleeping with their staffers, ultimately the Australian public say they would be able to get through the rough period without the Liberal Party backbencher.
The newspoll was today conducted after Cash stated that she believes she could live off the newstart allowance, because she once spent time backpacking on holiday, an experience that she suggested was like being on the unemployment benefit as she too, “drank a lot of goon and partied a lot, just like other unemployed people.”

“I understand that people who are unemployed often have to chose between feeding themselves or paying for necessities such as internet, but I had to pay 10 cents a minute in a run down internet cafe in France to search up the hottest nightclubs in Europe,” said Cash empathetically, “and after that night on the town, I too was unable to eat the next morning.”

The Liberal Party has come out strongly against the Newspoll findings, stating in a press release, “The Liberal Party stands with Michaelia Cash, and we will not let her lose her job due to the findings of a single newspoll, they don’t even really matter. The Liberal Party is the only truly fiscally conservative party in the nation and thus we are determined to save Cash.”

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Aussie Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 37678 Gender:	Re: Cash-strapped Reply #1 - May 7^th, 2018 at 3:49pm
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Its time Gold Member Offline Boot libs out Posts: 25639 Gender:	Re: Cash-strapped Reply #2 - May 7^th, 2018 at 4:00pm dumb bogan
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Grappler Truth Teller Feller Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 80211 Proud pre-1850's NO Voter Gender:	Re: Cash-strapped Reply #3 - May 7^th, 2018 at 5:35pm Oh - sorry - not that kind of strapped.... maybe closer to the truth, though....
Back to top	“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.” ― John Adams IP Logged

Aussie Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 37678 Gender:	Re: Cash-strapped Reply #4 - May 7^th, 2018 at 5:36pm Gawd.
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Grappler Truth Teller Feller Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 80211 Proud pre-1850's NO Voter Gender:	Re: Cash-strapped Reply #5 - May 7^th, 2018 at 6:31pm Aussie wrote on May 7^th, 2018 at 5:36pm: Gawd. Can never understand why a woman would bother with that kind of dicking around when the real thing is warm, soft skinned, adaptable, made for the job and doesn't feel like plastic.
Back to top	“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.” ― John Adams IP Logged

juliar Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 22966	Re: Cash-strapped Reply #6 - May 8^th, 2018 at 12:16am The old gecko troll has lived up to his "reputation" as a ....
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Grappler Truth Teller Feller Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 80211 Proud pre-1850's NO Voter Gender:	Re: Cash-strapped Reply #7 - May 9^th, 2018 at 12:01am .. and once again, simply by appearing, juliar has killed the discussion........ Nominated for Jellyfish of the year...
Back to top	“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.” ― John Adams IP Logged

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