For a long time, she believed his violence was her fault. "I would think it was reasonable", she said, "because I thought I'd done something wrong, and I deserved it."

He also repeatedly threatened to take another wife, which hurt and distressed Noor, not only because they were already struggling financially.

"I'm allowed to marry four women," he told her. "You have to change your Western mentality."

Now he was refusing to grant her a religious divorce.

Muslims in Australia may have a civil divorce, but if they do not also obtain a religious divorce, they are considered still married in Islamic law — and in the eyes of their community.

Getting an Islamic divorce, however, can be a difficult and protracted process, especially for women, who face stricter requirements for initiating divorce than men, depending on the laws of their cultural community.

While a husband is allowed to divorce his wife at any time, without cause, often imams will not grant a woman divorce without her husband's consent, or proof she has legitimate grounds for an annulment (which, depending on the legal school, can include infidelity, physical, financial or emotional harm, and sexual dysfunction).

In theory, domestic violence is one such reason: if a woman can prove her husband has been abusive — for example, by producing an intervention order, or photographs of her physical injuries — imams in Australia say they'll dissolve the marriage and hand over the paperwork, no problem.

But in practice, advocates and survivors say many imams are denying women the right to divorce, in too many cases detaining them in abusive marriages for years.

This was Noor's experience. Having presented the Board of Imams with what she believed was sufficient evidence, she was hopeful they'd acknowledge her husband's violence and swiftly grant a divorce.

Instead they dismissed the tape, she said, and told her to give the relationship another chance. "I honestly thought they weren't listening to me," she said. "They wanted me to go back and try again for the sake of the kids."

When she insisted she had tried, that she had made up her mind, they told her they needed to hear her husband's "side of the story" and that they'd be in touch after that.

It took six months for the Board of Imams to get back to her, Noor said, at which point they claimed to have forgotten the details of her case and asked her to come back in to retell her story.

Eventually, after a year of waiting, calling, praying, Noor — who had moved in with her parents — withdrew her divorce application, defeated and depleted.

"It killed me," she said. At that stage she wasn't interested in starting a new relationship; she simply longed to be free of a man who for years had controlled every aspect of her life.

"For me to move on psychologically I had to get that Islamic divorce ... I just wanted closure for me and my children, and at the same time I wanted [my ex] to stop saying I was his wife."

'It's easier to divorce in some Muslim countries'

In many Muslim countries around the world, women-led campaigns to reform Islamic laws governing marriage and divorce are gaining momentum.

In India, for example, the government is set to introduce new laws banning Muslim men from instantly divorcing their wives simply by pronouncing "talaq" — the Arabic word for divorce — three times.

Some countries — including Pakistan, Indonesia, Malaysia and Morocco — also stipulate women's right to initiate divorce in standard marriage contracts.

But in Australia, where Islamic law (sharia) operates in the shadow of the official legal system and the all-male imams who administer it with impunity, Muslim women's right to leave a marriage is not always recognised.

Compounding the problem, social workers and survivors say, is the fact that many imams are ignorant or dismissive of the dynamics and seriousness of domestic violence.

(There is no evidence suggesting Muslim women experience domestic abuse at a higher rate; no reliable data on this question has ever been collected in Australia.)

The article also referred to other articles done by the ABC on religion and domestic abuse in general. It was part of an ABC special investigation.

I thought they just setbfirevtobtgem in the kitchen

But that might be Indian?

Under Australian Law, any Mooselamb woman could probably wait until he is asleep and bludgeon her husband to death.

I wuz miztreeded

Unforgiven wrote on Apr 19^th, 2018 at 9:54pm:


Un4, if you continually add nothing but "un4 strikes again" you might take a holiday. Contribute more than slights at people.

Gordon wrote on Apr 19^th, 2018 at 10:48pm:


Absolutely not. Not all sects within the same religion are equally anti-woman

Setanta wrote on Apr 19^th, 2018 at 10:54pm:


In Islamic countries religion controls the behaviour of women. Can the same be said about the church in western countries?