Australian Politics Forum - extreme Domestic Violence

cods

Gold Member

Offline

Australian Politics

Posts: 88048

extreme Domestic Violence
Mar 18^th, 2018 at 11:25am

https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/teacher-charlene-saliba-details-horri...

CHARLENE Saliba remembers living in fear.

Ms Saliba, a 26-year-old Sydney primary school teacher, suffered physical and emotional abuse at the hands of NRL footballer Matthew Lodge, and is today speaking out for the first time because she wants the truth to be known.

Until now only a handful of people, including her parents and close friends, knew of Ms Saliba’s true story.

Ms Saliba, who turned down a paid media interview and repeated requests from TV programs, was the victim of a 2015 assault, to which Lodge pleaded guilty and was sentenced to a two-year good behaviour bond without a conviction being recorded.

Lodge, who has returned to the NRL with the Brisbane Broncos after two years out, during which time he was convicted of a violent attack on a New York family, claimed in a Fox League interview last week he had never “hit any women or assaulted any”.

That claim prompted Ms Saliba to come forward.

The Sunday Telegraph has also obtained evidence of Lodge’s violence against her, including police and court documents, and his Facebook messages threatening her life and calling her a “bitch” and “slut” amid declarations of love and pleas for her to return to him.

Ms Saliba said their two-year relationship began in 2013 but soon descended into cycle of domestic violence, including vile verbal abuse, stalking, intimidation and physical attacks that included grabbing her, elbowing her face, smashing her head into a car roof and hitting in her in the face hard enough that she fell to the ground.It started with controlling behaviour, then name-calling, then came the emotional abuse, he started throwing things, physically restraining me, (he) spat in my face, then pushing and shoving me, which then lead to threats on my life,” Ms Saliba said.

“I’ve lived the cycle of domestic abuse. I came out the other side.

“I am one of the lucky ones.”

“I have moved on with the help of my amazing partner and am only speaking because of repeated media requests and to correct what has been said about me.”

Court documents show that on August 20, 2015, police arrested Lodge and charged him with eight domestic violence-related offences against Ms Saliba, including common assault, stalking/intimidation and damaging property.

Police obtained an apprehended violence order on Ms Saliba’s behalf, and in May 2016 he pleaded guilty to one of the charges of common assault in Parramatta Local Court.That charge could only proceed because police had a witness: Lyn Walker, a neighbour who saw Lodge attack Ms Saliba.

The other charges did not proceed because Ms Saliba declined to attend court, but she has not wavered from her account of his behaviour.

“I didn’t speak in court because Matthew was playing (with Wests Tigers) at the time, I knew my story would go public and I was scared of the attention and how it would impact my chance at a normal life after,” Ms Saliba said.

“I just wanted to feel safe. The AVO was in place. I knew he couldn’t do anything to me anymore.

“My self-esteem was battered. The abuser always makes the person feel that’s their fault for the way their acting.“I was very confused even embarrassed and ashamed because I had lost myself in a man and a life I was frightened of. I am educated, successful, I had a blessed upbringing.

“And honestly, despite all he did to me, I didn’t wish to end his career. I knew that it was not going to help me heal or change the past.”

The AVO application lodged by police details eight alleged offences on five days in August 2015.

On August 8, Lodge allegedly reached across from the passenger seat of Ms Saliba’s parked car after an argument, grabbing her hair, ripping out her earring, and slapping her face.

On August 11, Lodge allegedly grabbed Ms Saliba’s throat, forced her back against a towel rail, causing pain, then threw his mobile phone at a wall, leaving a 3cm hole.

Lodge let go of Ms Saliba and then drove away, the police documents say.

On August 14, Lodge was sitting in the driver’s seat of a car when he allegedly grabbed Ms Saliba’s coat “and forcefully pushed her upward causing her head to slam on the roof of the car” and ripping the buttons from her coat.

He allegedly said: “I triple dare you to call the cops, your life won’t end that well.”

On August 18, Lodge allegedly elbowed Ms Saliba on top of her head while they lay in bed, slamming her teeth together.

The AVO application said Lodge apologised. The final incident in their relationship occurred on August 20, 2015, outside Lodge’s then residence at Marayong during an argument.

On that morning Lodge hauled Saliba out of a moving car as she tried to leave his property.

He then grabbed her by the rear collar of her shirt in an attempt to drag her into his house.

He then slapped her in the face and pushed her to the ground. This is the offence to which Lodge pleaded guilty.

Lodge’s neighbour, grandmother Lyn Walker, was watching from her front doorstep and called out: “Let her go.”

Lodge let go of Ms Saliba and then drove away, the police documents say.

Ms Walker urged Ms Saliba to call the police and both women gave statements to Constable Jenah Butler of Blacktown Police.

Ms Walker spoke this week to The Sunday Telegraph.

“There was a lot of yelling and a lot of abuse, verbal abu

Back to top

IP Logged

cods

Gold Member

Offline

Australian Politics

Posts: 88048

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #1 - Mar 18^th, 2018 at 11:27am

cont..

Ms Walker spoke this week to The Sunday Telegraph.

“There was a lot of yelling and a lot of abuse, verbal abuse from him, and the next thing you know he hit her,” Ms Walker said.

“He hit her, I believe twice. He hit her hard enough, he was quite a big guy, she was small, she fell to the floor. With that I then walked out and intervened.”

“I felt she fought my fight for me when I wasn’t strong enough.”

Ms Walker told Lodge to “bloody well leave her alone” after the 118kg footballer verbally and physically abused the 57kg primary school teacher.

“He yelled out: ‘You don’t know what is happening’,” Ms Walker said. “I said: ‘There is no excuse. I don’t need to know what is happening. Just leave her alone.’ And I stood there.

“Because he watched me and I stood there. I thought I am not going anywhere until I see she is safe,” Ms Walker said.

Ms Walker added: “He was trying to defend his actions. It didn’t matter what he said, there is no excuse for it, for hitting a woman.”

Ms Saliba yesterday described Walker’s intervention as a moment that changed her life.

“A stranger on the street gave me a second chance for a life where I no longer felt threatened and trapped,” Ms Saliba said.

Lodge pleaded guilty to misdemeanour reckless assault in New York in 2015.
“Constable Jenah was very patient and not judgmental.

“I felt she fought my fight for me when I wasn’t strong enough.”

Ms Saliba said from early on in their relationship, Lodge, who had a tattoo of Charlene’s name on his hip, told her she was not allowed to wear make-up or revealing clothes and forced her to create new social media accounts with no male friends.

As the abuse became worse she said she started to keep a diary of his emotional and violent outbursts.

PAUL KENT: THE REAL REASON BEHIND MATT LODGE’S EXILE

“At first I tried to forget about the abuse,” Saliba said.

“He would tell me it was normal. He would always apologise profusely after an incident, that ‘no one else will love you like I do’, and I would forgive him.

“But then I started writing down everything, all the abuse, when it was, what happened, why it happened, I started to realise I was a victim of domestic violence … and it wasn’t my fault.”

In October 2015 Lodge was sacked by the Tigers after being arrested in New York and charged in relation to a terrifying night in which he threatened to kill two women and assaulted a man who came to their rescue.

He pleaded guilty to misdemeanour reckless assault in a New York court in December 2015 and a subsequent civil court hearing saw him ordered to pay $US1.2 million in damages to his victims.

Returning to Australia to face the domestic violence charges, he pleaded guilty in May 2016 to the assault in Parramatta Local Court.

Lodge was sentenced to a 12-month good behaviour bond with a conviction recorded against his name.

Lodge has never apologised to Saliba for his behaviour.

He appealed to the NSW District Court and in September 2016 the sentence was amended to a two-year bond with no conviction to be recorded.

Ms Saliba said she was telling her story in the hope of helping others.

“Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate,” she said.

“You don’t have to accept domestic violence, verbal or physical, it’s not normal, it’s not your fault.

“I hope through education, knowing the warning signs and people speaking out, it will encourage everyone to start taking domestic violence seriously.

“I can’t thank my family, my parents, my partner, for their unconditional love and support as I healed from that time of my life.”

Lodge has never apologised to Saliba for his behaviour.

The NRL would not respond to questions as to whether its Integrity Unit spoke to Ms Walker or Ms Saliba or looked into documents on the incident from police and courts.

The NRL again said it took into account Mr Lodge’s guilty plea to domestic violence when it rejected his request to return to the game several times.

“He was allowed to return to the NRL after two years only after undergoing extensive rehabilitation,” a spokesman said.

The Sunday Telegraph approached Matthew Lodge for comment through the Brisbane Broncos and his manager but received no response.

Roll Eyes

Back to top

IP Logged

Sir Spot of Borg Gold Member Offline WE ARE BORG Posts: 26460 Australia	Re: extreme Domestic Violence Reply #2 - Mar 18^th, 2018 at 12:03pm Quote: Lodge has never apologised to Saliba for his behaviour. Because in his mind it was her fault Spot
Back to top	Whaaaaaah! I'm a Moron! - edited by some unethical admin - you think its funny? - its a slippery slope IP Logged

cods

Gold Member

Offline

Australian Politics

Posts: 88048

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #3 - Mar 18^th, 2018 at 4:35pm

Sir Spot of Borg wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 12:03pm:

Quote:

Lodge has never apologised to Saliba for his behaviour.

Because in his mind it was her fault

Spot

exactly EVERY TIME... and every time he apologised it wont happen again EVERY TIME...

it appears the NRL has no line in the sand when it comes to giving someone with a gift for playing a game .... the good old second 3rd even 4th chance...

this guy is 22 years old... and look at his record... OMG!

Back to top

IP Logged

Agnes

Gold Member

Offline

fish dinner

Posts: 6081
Bedford Park rnd

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #4 - Mar 18^th, 2018 at 8:24pm

This is just terrible cods- at 22 years old he is no where near a man at that age some are still extremely juvenile- there are no kids involved luckily and she can leave anytime- she has to protect herself- only she can do that- they all say you either "made me do it" and it wont happen again- always lies and deflecting blame- she s pretty young thing she will be ok if she gets away from him- but he needs to learn a very fast lesson - lets hope now its public he will suffer repercussions for this cowardly behaviour and will be forced to behave

Back to top

x=^..^= x <o((((>< ~~~ x=^..^=x~~~x=^..^=x<o((((><~~~x=^..^=x

farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic

IP Logged

cods

Gold Member

Offline

Australian Politics

Posts: 88048

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #5 - Mar 18^th, 2018 at 9:58pm

Agnes wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 8:24pm:

This is just terrible cods- at 22 years old he is no where near a man at that age some are still extremely juvenile- there are no kids involved luckily and she can leave anytime- she has to protect herself- only she can do that- they all say you either "made me do it" and it wont happen again- always lies and deflecting blame- she s pretty young thing she will be ok if she gets away from him- but he needs to learn a very fast lesson - lets hope now its public he will suffer repercussions for this cowardly behaviour and will be forced to behave

well from what I can gather they are always very persuasive when they say it wont happen again they probably mean it at the time.....and you know women we think we can fix everything and every one....many women wont admit they made a mistake especially if they were warned before hand.....''no one likes being wrong.

but what we read today these guys are serial abusers..... quite a few have a record of abusing females.....but they are usually good looking and charming....the usual thing women fall for...and of course they show no signs of being cowards before they get the girl to move in....

in this case the NRL are his accomplice!

Back to top

IP Logged

Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: extreme Domestic Violence Reply #6 - Mar 18^th, 2018 at 10:43pm yes they will back him until the heat is turned up too high then they will back off and drop him like a hot potato as they did with Ben Cousins- but anyway glad she has come forward and put it out there-
Back to top	x=^..^= x <o((((>< ~~~ x=^..^=x~~~x=^..^=x<o((((><~~~x=^..^=x farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic IP Logged

rhino

Gold Member

Offline

Australian Politics

Posts: 17179
Gender: male

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #7 - Mar 18^th, 2018 at 10:48pm

Agnes wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 8:24pm:

This is just terrible cods- at 22 years old he is no where near a man at that age some are still extremely juvenile-

Sorry to say but this sort of behavioural type is pretty well written in stone by the time they are teenagers. If hes doing it at 22 he will be doing it at 42 unless he learns a very hard lesson from it. Hes had minimal repercussions so he will continue this behaviour.

Back to top

IP Logged

cods

Gold Member

Offline

Australian Politics

Posts: 88048

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #8 - Mar 19^th, 2018 at 9:08am

rhino wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 10:48pm:

Agnes wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 8:24pm:

This is just terrible cods- at 22 years old he is no where near a man at that age some are still extremely juvenile-

Sorry to say but this sort of behavioural type is pretty well written in stone by the time they are teenagers. If hes doing it at 22 he will be doing it at 42 unless he learns a very hard lesson from it. Hes had minimal repercussions so he will continue this behaviour.

sadly that is the case this young man has had many opportunities to change this around...

he has been found guilty in America and has a fine of $1.6 million that he has made no attempt to pay....al;l for violence.....while we make excuses and the footy codes keep turning a blind eye....why in the hell should they turn it around?>..

Back to top

IP Logged

mantra

Gold Member

Offline

ozpolitic.com

Posts: 10750
Gender: female

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #9 - Mar 19^th, 2018 at 10:40am

rhino wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 10:48pm:

Agnes wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 8:24pm:

This is just terrible cods- at 22 years old he is no where near a man at that age some are still extremely juvenile-

Sorry to say but this sort of behavioural type is pretty well written in stone by the time they are teenagers. If hes doing it at 22 he will be doing it at 42 unless he learns a very hard lesson from it. Hes had minimal repercussions so he will continue this behaviour.

The women in his life have been too soft obviously, but when you encounter this sort of man for the first time - it would be difficult to know how to handle them. Because of his sporting prowess - few men would have the guts to stand up to him either and tell him to pull his head in.

Still - at 22 he's young enough to change his behaviour if he wants to. The negative publicity might help if he's got half a brain left.

Back to top

IP Logged

cods

Gold Member

Offline

Australian Politics

Posts: 88048

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #10 - Mar 19^th, 2018 at 2:54pm

mantra wrote on Mar 19^th, 2018 at 10:40am:

rhino wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 10:48pm:

Agnes wrote on Mar 18^th, 2018 at 8:24pm:

This is just terrible cods- at 22 years old he is no where near a man at that age some are still extremely juvenile-

Sorry to say but this sort of behavioural type is pretty well written in stone by the time they are teenagers. If hes doing it at 22 he will be doing it at 42 unless he learns a very hard lesson from it. Hes had minimal repercussions so he will continue this behaviour.

The women in his life have been too soft obviously, but when you encounter this sort of man for the first time - it would be difficult to know how to handle them. Because of his sporting prowess - few men would have the guts to stand up to him either and tell him to pull his head in.

Still - at 22 he's young enough to change his behaviour if he wants to. The negative publicity might help if he's got half a brain left.

yes half a brain is probably all he has this is not his first time....if he was my son or grandson I would hold him by the scruff of his neck and put him on his knees and make him apologise.....and no I would not allow him to play football....he could of course clean the showers and toilets for 12 months..

Back to top

IP Logged

Aussie

Gold Member

Offline

OzPolitic

Posts: 37678
Gender: male

Re: extreme Domestic Violence
Reply #11 - Mar 19^th, 2018 at 2:59pm

Quote:

if he was my son or grandson I would hold him by the scruff of his neck and put him on his knees and make him apologise.

Violence against him is not gonna work cods. In your dreams that you'd be able to hold anyone other than a child by the scruff of the neck and not incite some physical retaliation. Grandmas don't get to do violence either.

Back to top

IP Logged