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The_Barnacle Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 6205 Melbourne Gender:	Atheism Jokes Mar 17^th, 2018 at 10:37am Who said Atheists couldn't be funny?
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The_Barnacle Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 6205 Melbourne Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #1 - Mar 17^th, 2018 at 10:39am
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The_Barnacle Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 6205 Melbourne Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #2 - Mar 17^th, 2018 at 10:56am
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Yadda

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Re: Atheism Jokes
Reply #3 - Mar 17^th, 2018 at 11:41am

An atheist is walking through the countryside when he is ambushed by a huge grizzly bear.

"Oh God!" he screams "Help me!"

The bear stops in its tracks and a voice from the heavens rings out "All your life you've said you don't believe in me, slandered my name and now you want my help?"

"I realise that my request is rather bold," replies the atheist "but would it be possible for you to turn this very wild bear, into a Christian bear?"

"Of course i can!" replies God.

The bear closes its eyes and clasps its paws in prayer and says, "Dear Father, for what we are about to receive, we thank you."

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"....And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead."
Luke 16:31

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issuevoter

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The Great State of Mind
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Re: Atheism Jokes
Reply #4 - Mar 17^th, 2018 at 12:18pm

An atheist commits suicide and is surprised to find himself in heaven.

"Wow," he says to God, "you know I didn't expect to be here. I'm an atheist and on top of that I thought you're not supposed to go to heaven if you kill yourself."

"No, it's okay," says God. "I've thought about suicide myself."

"Really?" asks the man. "Why?"

"Well," God says, "what if this is all there is?"

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No political allegiance. No philosophy. No religion.

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Jasin Gold Member Offline Posts: 46467 Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #5 - Mar 17^th, 2018 at 12:28pm all of the above
Back to top	AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY. IP Logged

The_Barnacle

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Re: Atheism Jokes
Reply #6 - Mar 18^th, 2018 at 12:45pm

Q: What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?
A: Stays awake all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.

A man sees a boy with a box of kittens The man goes over and says "Oh what cute kittens!" The boy replies "Yes they are Christian kittens". About a week later the man sees the boy again with the same batch of kittens. Once again he walks over and says "my, those are just adorable!" The boy replies "Yes, they are atheist kittens" The man asks "wait, weren't they christian before?" The boy looks at the man and says "Yeah but they have their eyes open now"

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/religiousjokes/atheistjokes.html

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The Right Wing only believe in free speech when they agree with what is being said.

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The_Barnacle Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 6205 Melbourne Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #7 - Mar 22^nd, 2018 at 10:04am
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The_Barnacle Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 6205 Melbourne Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #8 - Mar 29^th, 2018 at 10:59am
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Setanta Gold Member Offline \/ Peace man! Posts: 15914 Northern NSW Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #9 - Mar 29^th, 2018 at 10:53pm The_Barnacle wrote on Mar 29^th, 2018 at 10:59am: http://i63.tinypic.com/20uy0ra.jpg That's no joke Barny! That's the truth.
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Jasin Gold Member Offline Posts: 46467 Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #10 - Mar 29^th, 2018 at 11:19pm Atheists have no moral code of conduct (like Religion). They rely heavily on Science as it attempts to play 'God' with the world.
Back to top	AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY. IP Logged

Setanta

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Re: Atheism Jokes
Reply #11 - Mar 30^th, 2018 at 1:39am

Jasin wrote on Mar 29^th, 2018 at 11:19pm:

Atheists have no moral code of conduct (like Religion).
They rely heavily on Science as it attempts to play 'God' with the world.

More trolling? OK, Here's a nibble to keep you sitting on the shore with your hook in the water.

I can only speak for me but I'd say it's pretty universal. That pic posted above is true. We know this life is the only one we have and hold it dear. We don't seek anything else beyond what we have here, no god to "save" us or give us rewards. We don't believe there is a heaven or hell and the best we can do is try to make heaven here on Earth whist the religious folk try and turn it into hell. We only have one shot at this.

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The_Barnacle Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 6205 Melbourne Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #12 - Mar 30^th, 2018 at 3:17pm Jasin wrote on Mar 29^th, 2018 at 11:19pm: Atheists have no moral code of conduct (like Religion).
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Jasin Gold Member Offline Posts: 46467 Gender:	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #13 - Mar 30^th, 2018 at 3:30pm You have Religion - that matters. You have Athiesm - that Anti-matters.
Back to top	AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY. IP Logged

Raven Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 2981 Around	Re: Atheism Jokes Reply #14 - Apr 5^th, 2018 at 11:36am Jasin wrote on Mar 29^th, 2018 at 11:19pm: Atheists have no moral code of conduct (like Religion). A truly moral person does the right thing without fear of divine retribution or the promise of divine reward.
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