Australian Politics Forum

Fuzzball Gold Member Offline Posts: 6381 Australia Gender:	Re: Funnies Reply #30 - Sep 2^nd, 2018 at 2:46pm
Back to top	Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, "Holy Sh!t ... What a Ride!" IP Logged

Agnes

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Re: Funnies
Reply #31 - Sep 8^th, 2018 at 9:11pm

The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... "I promise!" Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3 am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, I thought! Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, "Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'Oh crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."

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UnSubRocky

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Re: Funnies
Reply #32 - Sep 8^th, 2018 at 11:54pm

One afternoon, I was talking to my 14-year-old daughter about the "ninja clouds" outside. She went outside to see what I was talking about. I heard her say from outside "Where?". I told her that they were out there. She walked back inside and said, "I don't see them". I looked at her and said "Exactly..."

She walked away muttering "I hate you".

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Agnes

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Re: Funnies
Reply #33 - Sep 9^th, 2018 at 2:26pm

UnSubRocky wrote on Sep 8^th, 2018 at 11:54pm:

One afternoon, I was talking to my 14-year-old daughter about the "ninja clouds" outside. She went outside to see what I was talking about. I heard her say from outside "Where?". I told her that they were out there. She walked back inside and said, "I don't see them". I looked at her and said "Exactly..."

She walked away muttering "I hate you".

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farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic

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UnSubRocky

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Re: Funnies
Reply #34 - Sep 10^th, 2018 at 7:53pm

Agnes wrote on Sep 9^th, 2018 at 2:26pm:

UnSubRocky wrote on Sep 8^th, 2018 at 11:54pm:

One afternoon, I was talking to my 14-year-old daughter about the "ninja clouds" outside. She went outside to see what I was talking about. I heard her say from outside "Where?". I told her that they were out there. She walked back inside and said, "I don't see them". I looked at her and said "Exactly..."

She walked away muttering "I hate you".

I checked beforehand to see if it was a cloud-free day before I did the Dad joke. It would lose impact if she decided that clouds on the horizon counted as the kind of clouds I was discussing.

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Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: Funnies Reply #35 - Sep 16^th, 2018 at 8:06pm -
Back to top	eskimo.GIF (127 KB \| 62 ) x=^..^= x <o((((>< ~~~ x=^..^=x~~~x=^..^=x<o((((><~~~x=^..^=x farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic IP Logged

Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: Funnies Reply #36 - Sep 20^th, 2018 at 9:51pm
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Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: Funnies Reply #37 - Sep 20^th, 2018 at 10:05pm -
Back to top	sheep_003.jpg (18 KB \| 56 ) x=^..^= x <o((((>< ~~~ x=^..^=x~~~x=^..^=x<o((((><~~~x=^..^=x farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic IP Logged

Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: Funnies Reply #38 - Nov 14^th, 2018 at 5:25pm
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Cu Chulainn Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 2135 Gender:	Re: Funnies Reply #39 - Nov 15^th, 2018 at 6:18pm Three old ladies were sitting quietly on a park bench, enjoying the sun when a flasher walked up, opened his coat and gave them an eyeful. The first old lady had a stroke, the second also had a stroke, the third couldn't reach.
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Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: Funnies Reply #40 - Nov 15^th, 2018 at 9:16pm Cu Chulainn wrote on Nov 15^th, 2018 at 6:18pm: Three old ladies were sitting quietly on a park bench, enjoying the sun when a flasher walked up, opened his coat and gave them an eyeful. The first old lady had a stroke, the second also had a stroke, the third couldn't reach. 3 times the charm
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Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: Funnies Reply #41 - Nov 15^th, 2018 at 9:21pm ----
Back to top	heel_66.jpg (53 KB \| ) x=^..^= x <o((((>< ~~~ x=^..^=x~~~x=^..^=x<o((((><~~~x=^..^=x farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic IP Logged

Cu Chulainn

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Re: Funnies
Reply #42 - Nov 15^th, 2018 at 11:27pm

Agnes wrote on Nov 15^th, 2018 at 9:16pm:

Cu Chulainn wrote on Nov 15^th, 2018 at 6:18pm:

Three old ladies were sitting quietly on a park bench, enjoying the sun when a flasher walked up, opened his coat and gave them an eyeful.

The first old lady had a stroke, the second also had a stroke, the third couldn't reach.

3 times the charm

Aww, not funny? Had an old lady crack up at that one the other day. The joys of not being PC.

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« Last Edit: Nov 15^th, 2018 at 11:34pm by Cu Chulainn »

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Agnes

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Bedford Park rnd

Re: Funnies
Reply #43 - Nov 16^th, 2018 at 7:12am

Cu Chulainn wrote on Nov 15^th, 2018 at 11:27pm:

Agnes wrote on Nov 15^th, 2018 at 9:16pm:

Cu Chulainn wrote on Nov 15^th, 2018 at 6:18pm:

Three old ladies were sitting quietly on a park bench, enjoying the sun when a flasher walked up, opened his coat and gave them an eyeful.

The first old lady had a stroke, the second also had a stroke, the third couldn't reach.

3 times the charm

Aww, not funny? Had an old lady crack up at that one the other day. The joys of not being PC.

I was laughing Set on the inside ( a definite smirk) was just trying to figure out if it was a dad joke or not lol Grin

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farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic

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Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: Funnies Reply #44 - Nov 18^th, 2018 at 12:07pm --
Back to top	9999.GIF (143 KB \| ) x=^..^= x <o((((>< ~~~ x=^..^=x~~~x=^..^=x<o((((><~~~x=^..^=x farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic IP Logged