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Lisa Jones

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #90 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 8:57am

aquascoot wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 8:38am:

Lisa Jones wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 8:30am:

aquascoot wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 6:27am:

miketrees wrote on Dec 19^th, 2017 at 10:52pm:

Going on stress leave is a risk.

You take leave and you may not get paid if the case is not accepted.

I still maintain you should just quietly escape from a sociopath if you can.

I also know that that is not possible at times,,, my idea of hell being stuck with a sociopath.

I would admire anyone that can do what Aqua suggested, playing along with them.
I would kill them first.

there is a reason to be resentful of a bully.
life is unfair.
people have every right to feel self pity.
people have every right to feel victimised.
i just dont think it works.

psychopaths and bullies arent pleasent to deal with.
neither is cancer, a relationship breakdown, one of your kids being in a car accident.
but life is suffering .

the 2 most important people from the east and the west (buddha and jesus) both came to this conclusion.
their life was symbolic of this.
they nailed jesus to a cross for gawds sake.

so much for the "good news'.

but once you accept life is suffering, you can begin to transcend it.
what you resist will persist.

but if you can accept that you just pick up your cross and move forward with your head held high, then you cant fail to win.

because a bully is weak, a psychopath is weak and they are looking for a target that will make nice gratifying sounds of suffering.

and if you bear your cross nobley and with a smile, you are now a source of good clean energy. and people "like" good clean energy and it will turn around for you.

if you whine and complain, go home and kick the dog, let this pain define you, become a self pitying cry baby in front of your wife and kids, then you are a source of dirty polluted energy. and people dont want to be around that sort of energy.

i think there is a truism "laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone".

so remain disciplined,. dont let the bully win, be strategic and build relationships "around" the bully.
"be that guy".

we all like it to be easy.
thats a mistake.
you should like it that its hard.
thats where the growth is.
this bully can fuel your resilience
this bully can put you in a mental state where you feel more awesome becasue you went thru the fire.

you think this bully is your worst enemy, in fact, he could be your best friend .

Ummm ok.

Meantime......Sprint needs to know what his next step should be. That means seeking free and confidential professional legal advice.

Unfortunately it's the silly season and as such...many industries are more or less closing down until the 2nd week of the New Year.

umm , ok,

meanwhile i would offer this advice.

this organisation allowed this situation to arise.
and "you cant solve a problem in the paradigm in which it was created".

you have to think outside the box.

legal avenues, unions and HR might convey "victim status" on you. and victim status will lead to you being diminished as a man. i would caution against going down that route. look at the evidence around you for the consequences of playing the victim.

recharge
recalibrate
re engage
and go out on the attack.

thats how you fuel an upward spiral

I don't believe that Sprint is PLAYING the victim. At all.

I do believe that his organisation needs a good wake up call (in particular the HR department). The workplace safety culture overall stinks! I shudder to think if/what workplace dispute resolution procedures are in place there.

There clearly needs to be a more proactive transparent communication mechanism as regards the provision and addressing of constructive feedback.

In addition I can see the need to restructure existing education and awareness programs through workplace safety training opportunities. Across all levels.

Sigh.....someone in HR needs to get up and do this.

There's an opportunity here for HR management to save that organisation a lot of money (in future premiums). HR should also be addressing the cost/benefit issues of employee retention. Then they should be highlighting the importance of a mutual trust culture in the workplace. Why? Because it yields higher productivity yadda yadda yadda.

Apologies....I'm shopping ATM and quickly thinking on my feet.

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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)

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aquascoot

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #91 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 9:18am

Lisa Jones wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 8:57am:

aquascoot wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 8:38am:

Lisa Jones wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 8:30am:

aquascoot wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 6:27am:

miketrees wrote on Dec 19^th, 2017 at 10:52pm:

Going on stress leave is a risk.

You take leave and you may not get paid if the case is not accepted.

I still maintain you should just quietly escape from a sociopath if you can.

I also know that that is not possible at times,,, my

I would admire anyone that can do what Aqua suggested, playing along with them.
I would kill them first.

there is a reason to be resentful of a bully.
life is unfair.
people have every right to feel self pity.
people have every right to feel victimised.
i just dont think it works.

psychopaths and bullies arent pleasent to deal with.
neither is cancer, a relationship breakdown, one of your kids being in a car accident.
but life is suffering .

the 2 most important people from the east and the west (buddha and jesus) both came to this conclusion.
their life was symbolic of this.
they nailed jesus to a cross for gawds sake.

so much for the "good news'.

but once you accept life is suffering, you can begin to transcend it.
what you resist will persist.

but if you can accept that you just pick up your cross and move forward with your head held high, then you cant fail to win.

because a bully is weak, a psychopath is weak and they are looking for a target that will make nice gratifying sounds of suffering.

and if you bear your cross nobley and with a smile, you are now a source of good clean energy. and people "like" good clean energy and it will turn around for you.

if you whine and complain, go home and kick the dog, let this pain define you, become a self pitying cry baby in front of your wife and kids, then you are a source of dirty polluted energy. and people dont want to be around that sort of energy.

i think there is a truism "laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone".

so remain disciplined,. dont let the bully win, be strategic and build relationships "around" the bully.
"be that guy".

we all like it to be easy.
thats a mistake.
you should like it that its hard.
thats where the growth is.
this bully can fuel your resilience
this bully can put you in a mental state where you feel more awesome becasue you went thru the fire.

you think this bully is your worst enemy, in fact, he could be your best friend .

Ummm ok.

Meantime......Sprint needs to know what his next step should be. That means seeking free and confidential professional legal advice.

Unfortunately it's the silly season and as such...many industries are more or less closing down until the 2nd week of the New Year.

umm , ok,

meanwhile i would offer this advice.

this organisation allowed this situation to arise.
and "you cant solve a problem in the paradigm in which it was created".

you have to think outside the box.

legal avenues, unions and HR might convey "victim status" on you. and victim status will lead to you being diminished as a man. i would caution against going down that route. look at the evidence around you for the consequences of playing the victim.

recharge
recalibrate
re engage
and go out on the attack.

thats how you fuel an upward spiral

I don't believe that Sprint is PLAYING the victim. At all.

I do believe that his organisation needs a good wake up call (in particular the HR department). The workplace safety culture overall stinks! I shudder to think if/what workplace dispute resolution procedures are in place there.

There clearly needs to be a more proactive transparent communication mechanism as regards the provision and addressing of constructive feedback.

In addition I can see the need to restructure existing education and awareness programs through workplace safety training opportunities. Across all levels.

Sigh.....someone in HR needs to get up and do this.

There's an opportunity here for HR management to save that organisation a lot of money (in future premiums). HR should also be addressing the cost/benefit issues of employee retention. Then they should be highlighting the importance of a mutual trust culture in the workplace. Why? Because it yields higher productivity yadda yadda yadda.

Apologies....I'm shopping ATM and quickly thinking on my feet.

i dont think sprint is playing the victim either.
but legal and union departments have been known to encourage that sort of behaviour.

as for what HR "should' be doing.
well.

you can point out to people what they "should' be doing and they will usually go on the defensive and you may not get the result you desired.

why?

because if they "should" have been doing it and they were effective, they already 'would" have been doing it.

i believe in maximal personal responsibility.

YOU are responsible for building an environment around you of "good ' people.
if people arent behaving well, you can only work on yourself.

there will be good people in most workplaces. build that ecosystem.

if, for example, there are other butt hurt people who are "sad", dont sit with them and sh**t talk and get all sad together. they will "seep' into you. we are like sponges.
get yourself around strong powerful joyful positive people. let THAT seep into you. never surround yourself with influences that make you weak

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Sprintcyclist

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #92 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 10:56am

The union have been very good.

I have kept them undisclosed to HR, so there is minimal direct conflict.
Noone wins a war.

I send the union things I am considering sending to HR, he discusses it with me, edits it and sends it back.

He has stopped me from making a few bad mistakes.
Management are experienced at this sort of thing, I am not.

I need someone who is a paid expert on my side.

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Modern Classic Right Wing

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Lisa Jones

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #93 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 11:08am

Sprintcyclist wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 10:56am:

The union have been very good.

I have kept them undisclosed to HR, so there is minimal direct conflict.
Noone wins a war.

I send the union things I am considering sending to HR, he discusses it with me, edits it and sends it back.

He has stopped me from making a few bad mistakes.
Management are experienced at this sort of thing, I am not.

I need someone who is a paid expert on my side.

Yep. You sure do. Let me know IF you'd like the details a suitably qualified LEGAL expert who is also a managing partner of a reputable law firm.

NB You won't be able to achieve much right now given it's Christmas. Everyone is winding down. You'll have more luck around the 2nd week of January 2018. Can you hang in there? Tip : Take any RDO's owing plus the Public Holidays plus any sick leave that's owing to you. You sound like you could do with a well earned break Sprint.

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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)

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Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: Sociopath Reply #94 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 11:53am A terrible situation Sprint and great to see you are trying to do something about it- I commend you- I wish you luck and in finding someone who can give you useful information that will lead to a resolution soon- work place bullying is disgusting cruel behaviour !
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TheFunPolice Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 9009 waggawagga Gender:	Re: Sociopath Reply #95 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 1:14pm Aqua sounds like a computer!
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cods

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #96 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 4:31pm

Agnes wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 11:53am:

A terrible situation Sprint and great to see you are trying to do something about it- I commend you- I wish you luck and in finding someone who can give you useful information that will lead to a resolution soon- work place bullying is disgusting cruel behaviour !

it disgraceful in this day and age...should have disappeared years ago...

we can see by little acts of bullying on ozpol..how some folks never know when to stop....when they have crossed a line....

in the work place I do blame management....I am pretty sure sprint isnt the only one in his work place who has gone to management with this issue....

where the hell is WORK SAFETY on this one???.... Angry

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miketrees Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 6488 Gender:	Re: Sociopath Reply #97 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 4:52pm No Cods I do not have the ability to suck up to sociopaths in the workplace. I just cant do it. Its probably going to involve having to treat some other poor person badly to conform to the wishes of the sociopath. never will.
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Lisa Jones

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #98 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:00pm

miketrees wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 4:52pm:

No Cods I do not have the ability to suck up to sociopaths in the workplace.

I just cant do it.

Its probably going to involve having to treat some other poor person badly to conform to the wishes of the sociopath.

never will.

You guys should be thankful you only work with sociopaths.

Try being married to one.

THEN you'd know about it. Undecided

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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)

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cods

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #99 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:05pm

miketrees wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 4:52pm:

No Cods I do not have the ability to suck up to sociopaths in the workplace.

I just cant do it.

Its probably going to involve having to treat some other poor person badly to conform to the wishes of the sociopath.

never will.

thats what I imagined aqua makes it sound so easy . but then most lecturers do I find...you were driven to make a massive change to your lifestyle so you know first hand how bloody un easy it is...

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Sprintcyclist

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #100 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:25pm

Lisa Jones wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:00pm:

miketrees wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 4:52pm:

No Cods I do not have the ability to suck up to sociopaths in the workplace.

I just cant do it.

Its probably going to involve having to treat some other poor person badly to conform to the wishes of the sociopath.

never will.

You guys should be thankful you only work with sociopaths.

Try being married to one.

THEN you'd know about it. Undecided

eeeeewwwwwwww, No thank you !!!!

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Modern Classic Right Wing

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Lisa Jones

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #101 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:32pm

Sprintcyclist wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:25pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:00pm:

miketrees wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 4:52pm:

No Cods I do not have the ability to suck up to sociopaths in the workplace.

I just cant do it.

Its probably going to involve having to treat some other poor person badly to conform to the wishes of the sociopath.

never will.

You guys should be thankful you only work with sociopaths.

Try being married to one.

THEN you'd know about it. Undecided

eeeeewwwwwwww, No thank you !!!!

No offence but once you've survived being married to/escaped from a sociopath.....suddenly other sociopaths who come across in your life are not as difficult/as stressful to manage.

I guess there's a lot to be said for experiential knowledge.

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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)

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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: Sociopath Reply #102 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:45pm its all about bullying though isnt it lisa.. I am bigger than you sort of thing.. in the work place its POWER..more so today than ever... I think they see you as a threat to their position. and they know getting another job is not that easy
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Lisa Jones

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Re: Sociopath
Reply #103 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:50pm

cods wrote on Dec 20^th, 2017 at 5:45pm:

its all about bullying though isnt it lisa..

I am bigger than you sort of thing..

in the work place its POWER..more so today than ever...

I think they see you as a threat to their position.

and they know getting another job is not that easy

True. And ths type of dysfunctional behaviour starts where ?????

1. The school yard

and even earlier than that.....

2. The home

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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)

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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: Sociopath Reply #104 - Dec 20^th, 2017 at 7:13pm there is a program on SBS tonight 8.30 eta..about psychopaths...should be interesting..
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