Army plagued by anxious Majors as Staff College selections draw near
November 17, 2017
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Ronald Sturkey
It's that time of the year again - Staff College selections, and as Army would have you believe, Army officers must compete on merit to be selected.

An alien concept to their Navy and Air Force counterparts, approximately 200 Majors across Army are competing for just 60 spots to attend the prestigious Australian Command and Staff College, conducted on the hallowed grounds of Weston Creek in Canberra.

It has been reported that tensions are high across Army, as many majors have realised they should have done more earlier in the year to increase their chances of being selected.

“I really felt like I did a good job commanding my company and preparing them for operations during the Road to Talisman Sabre" said Major Tim Fradon, an OC from 1 RAR.

“But, in hindsight, I really feel I let myself down by not ‘liking’ enough of the Forces Commander or Chief of Army’s tweets."

"Hashtag followershipfail."

About 30 Army Colonels deliberate on the last 10 years of reporting on each Major that is presented to the board.

"It's great to be a part of this selection process", said Colonel Richards. "As the CASG lead for procuring field survey notebooks, I am well positioned to help select the next batch of Army's commanding officers".

“It's a fair process”, stated an objective careers advisor from the Directorate of Officer Career Management (DOCM).

However, not all seem to share this sentiment.

“I have performed at the top of my cohort since I graduated… but going through 10 years of reporting is a really daunting prospect. I mean, I have only been in the system for 4 years”, quipped a very nervous Public Affairs Major.

Whilst there are a lot of nervous O4s (technical slang for major types) constantly hanging around the commanding officer’s office (out of sight, but within hearing distance of the CO's speakerphone conversations), or speaking with their ‘mates’ at DOCM, there are some who have a more opportunistic approach to the selections.

“Look, I’m a realist”, said a non-special forces infantry officer who asked not to be named.

“It's a tough gig these days, getting into staff college."

"If I don’t get up this time round, simple - I'll take an extended holiday in Thailand, get some quick surgery, and I'll be a sure thing come this time next year."

Spokespersons for Navy and RAAF HR departments couldn’t understand what the big fuss is about.

“We give our people bonuses to attend staff college, and still can’t get them to attend...Army can have our spots if they want”, said WGCDR Ortonson.

When the APS was questioned about anxiety levels of personnel seeking selection for ACSC, the response was “what's a staff college?”
http://www.raspberrycreekbugler.com/single-post/2017/11/17/Army-plagued-by-anxio...

It might be satire, but boy does a lot of this ring true!!!!  I like this bit:

"But, in hindsight, I really feel I let myself down by not ‘liking’ enough of the Forces Commander or Chief of Army’s tweets."