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so sad! (Read 173 times)
cods
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so sad!
Oct 21st, 2017 at 9:45am
 
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/sydney-confidential/barry-dubois-...

THE scariest time is around 2am, while his family sleeps.

In the darkness, Barry Dubois worries about how his wife and five-year-old twins will cope without him. He wonders about the tumours and how much time they will allow him.

But then he meditates, pushes the fear aside, and gets on with it.

“What I have learnt is you can’t control everything in life. I have a situation, I am going to make the most of that situation and I am going to win this battle,” Dubois told The Saturday Telegraph.

In June, The Living Room’s much-loved renovation expert learned the cancer he beat six years ago, that had been in remission, had returned. Last time, there was one tumour in his neck. Now, he is “full of cancer”.

He shared the news in an emotional episode of the Channel Ten show last night.

“In the medical world, I am on the exit off the freeway, there is no doubt about that,” he said.

“What I want to do in this journey is to show everybody the things I am doing to make sure my exit journey is as long as possible and as easy to handle.

“So I’m 57 and I’ve got five-year-old kids and life isn’t where I want it to be when I leave.”
“I have always backed myself and I will back myself on this and I will have the support to win it,” the R U OK? ambassador said.

“I’m lucky. I have the support of my family and my beautiful friends around me. Things have changed in the six years since I last had cancer. Medicine has advanced, and the focus is on embracing holistic health alongside it — eating well, exercising, meditating, making your body as strong as possible to fight this.”


Dubois with wife Leonie. Picture: Jonathan Ng
Even before his first diagnosis, cancer had put its stamp on Dubois’ life. It claimed his mother in 2004, and a year later his wife, Leonie, was diagnosed. She recovered, but the couple needed IVF and a surrogate to have their twins Bennett and Arabella.

In 2010, Dubois was first diagnosed with plasmacytoma myeloma, a cancer of the immune system that attacks healthy bone marrow.

For years he had bimonthly blood tests but then he got complacent. A pain in his ribs five months ago saw him check in with his doctor.

When you’ve had cancer, a pain worries you,” Dubois said. “A couple of days after the test, the doctor rang and said, ‘We’ve got some problems here.’ I said, ‘I can’t be sick now, it is not the right time’. He said, ‘It is not good mate’. So I’m 57 and I’ve got five-year-old kids and life isn’t where I want it to be when I leave.”

But Dubois went ahead with a six-week family holiday to Europe.

“Six weeks wasn’t going to make a big difference,” Dubois said. “So we went away. I thought, what if this is our last holiday and that was hard. The kids don’t understand that dad is sick.”

He’s now begun chemo and is being treated at The Kinghorn Cancer Centre and St Vincent’s Hospital.

“I think I am the luckiest bloke alive,” he said. “I believe you are the sum of every day added up and I reckon I’ve got the best sum there is.

“I have got the most beautiful wife and children on Earth. I’ve got the most incredible friends. And I get to share my life with people on TV each week. I am a big believer in the home and a family life and society.”

Dubois said he would be sharing his journey as it unfolds.

“I am not going to layer myself up with stress that I don’t need.”
“I am going to beat this and I want to inspire others in similar situations and for people to learn from my journey,” he said.

Dubois has already started to lose hair but is still working and will keep going through chemo treatments up until Christmas. After that, Dubois will get a bone marrow retrieval and stem cell transplant. Then it will be a strong dose of chemo and three weeks in isolation at St Vincent’s Hospital.

He is hoping to get out to be with his kids when they start school at the end of January. He’s also keen to get back on The Living Room couch. But he isn’t putting pressure on himself.

“What I have learnt though is you can’t control everything. I have a situation, I am going to make the most of that situation and I’m going to help others,” Dubois said.

“I am not going to layer myself up with stress that I don’t need because stress is one of the biggest contributors of this thing.”

* If you feel a conversation has become too big and you need extra support, R U OK? go to ruok.org.au/findhelp.


Cry Cry Cry Cry
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