Australian Politics Forum - if you had a long friendship...

Amadd Gold Member Offline Mo Posts: 6217	if you had a long friendship... Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:00am And then had a falling out, should you be bothered to attend the service?
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Amadd Gold Member Offline Mo Posts: 6217	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #1 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:02am Personally, I don't think so. They need to supply a wortwhile life to even care.
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Amadd Gold Member Offline Mo Posts: 6217	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #2 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:07am Na..I'd given myself the answer. not attend.
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Amadd Gold Member Offline Mo Posts: 6217	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #3 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:08am No way,
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cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #4 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 5:31am are you referring to a funeral service??? It would depend on how much value I had on the friendship... if I had done something stooopid.. I think I would try and make amends.. if that was rejected.. and then ex friend passed... I would leave it at that.... they didnt want you in life......so be it.
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mantra Gold Member Offline ozpolitic.com Posts: 10750 Gender:	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #5 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 5:37am Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:07am: Na..I'd given myself the answer. not attend. Unless your conscience is telling you to do it - I wouldn't worry about it either. Your ex friend is beyond caring.
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Gordon Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 20221 Gordon Gender:	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #6 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 7:29am Whats the ratio of duration of friendship to estrangement?
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Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 39506 Gender:	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #7 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 7:43am Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:00am: And then had a falling out, should you be bothered to attend the service? If I was invited, yes. Friendships will wax and wane. Don't be the one to cut it off.
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Amadd

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Re: if you had a long friendship...
Reply #8 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:13am

Sprintcyclist wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 7:43am:

Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:00am:

And then had a falling out, should you be bothered to attend the service?

If I was invited, yes.

Friendships will wax and wane.
Don't be the one to cut it off.

Yes you are right there. Many people would be shocked if I did not attend, however, I'm thinking that there will be many other shocks of non-attendance besides me.

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Amadd Gold Member Offline Mo Posts: 6217	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #9 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:14am Gordon wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 7:29am: Whats the ratio of duration of friendship to estrangement? 4:1
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John Smith Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 72209 Gender:	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #10 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:17am you can be the bigger man, or you can be the one whos funeral no one attends.
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Gordon Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 20221 Gordon Gender:	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #11 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:25am Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:14am: Gordon wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 7:29am: Whats the ratio of duration of friendship to estrangement? 4:1 If declining health or mental health was the cause of the falling out, I'd go. If he was a crunt and always was a crunt, probably not.
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Amadd Gold Member Offline Mo Posts: 6217	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #12 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:44am Yes, the latter. Sometimes big personalities tend to get a good following, even though they are not very well liked as a person. Thanks for your opinions.
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Aussie Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 37678 Gender:	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #13 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:48am Ask his Family what they reckon.
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Jovial Monk

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Re: if you had a long friendship...
Reply #14 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 12:22pm

My former business partner, the one who about destroyed the business racking up huge debts then left after I made sure hhe couldn’t take more money out of the business. . .died in 2007 and that was after a long illness.

I did not know it at the time and when I found out I felt, hmm s bit out of sorts. Maybe I felt we should have met one time during his illness and put the enmity to rest?

I still find it difficult to rationalise that he is dead. We had been friends since the 70s, parted ways in early 90s.

So that is a real life case. I would have gone to his funeral service if I had known.

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Sprintcyclist

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Re: if you had a long friendship...
Reply #15 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 1:33pm

Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:13am:

Sprintcyclist wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 7:43am:

Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:00am:

And then had a falling out, should you be bothered to attend the service?

If I was invited, yes.

Friendships will wax and wane.
Don't be the one to cut it off.

Yes you are right there. Many people would be shocked if I did not attend, however, I'm thinking that there will be many other shocks of non-attendance besides me.

If others don't attend, that's up to them.
What you do is up to you.

It's your decision. Remember the good things, attend of those times.

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cods

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Re: if you had a long friendship...
Reply #16 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 2:22pm

Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:13am:

Sprintcyclist wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 7:43am:

Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:00am:

And then had a falling out, should you be bothered to attend the service?

If I was invited, yes.

Friendships will wax and wane.
Don't be the one to cut it off.

Yes you are right there. Many people would be shocked if I did not attend, however, I'm thinking that there will be many other shocks of non-attendance besides me.

never " attend or not attend" to please others..

do what sits well with yourself...you will have to live with you actions...not others.. let them gossip if thats what want to do..

at times like this you go to say goodbye to the person you had as a friend....thats what matters.

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Agnes Gold Member Offline fish dinner Posts: 6081 Bedford Park rnd	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #17 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 3:19pm Some good advice here from cods and sprint..I would go regardless..at one time you were friends and the latter part of your friendship may have been bitter and may still be lingering, but that was only one part of a whole.. pay your respects be the bigger man.. no regrets later on.
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Aussie

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Re: if you had a long friendship...
Reply #18 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 3:22pm

Agnes wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 3:19pm:

Some good advice here from cods and sprint..I would go regardless..at one time you were friends and the latter part of your friendship may have been bitter and may still be lingering, but that was only one part of a whole.. pay your respects be the bigger man.. no regrets later on.

That's the dilemma. Is it being the bigger man....or is it being a hypocrite.

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Agnes

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Re: if you had a long friendship...
Reply #19 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 3:34pm

cods wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 2:22pm:

Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 11:13am:

Sprintcyclist wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 7:43am:

Amadd wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:00am:

And then had a falling out, should you be bothered to attend the service?

If I was invited, yes.

Friendships will wax and wane.
Don't be the one to cut it off.

Yes you are right there. Many people would be shocked if I did not attend, however, I'm thinking that there will be many other shocks of non-attendance besides me.

never " attend or not attend" to please others..

do what sits well with yourself...you will have to live with you actions...not others.. let them gossip if thats what want to do..

at times like this you go to say goodbye to the person you had as a friend....thats what matters.

agree cods

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farewell to days of wild abandon and freedom in the adriatic

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Neferti

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Re: if you had a long friendship...
Reply #20 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:23pm

I don't go to Funerals. I went to my Father's in 1971 and my Mother's in 1993. I did not go to my sister's in 2007, she knew that I wouldn't be there, we discussed it.

I don't expect anybody to come to my funeral. It will be a very Private affair.

Besides, most people go to Funerals to "support" the bereaved, the person in the coffin doesn't know whether you are there or not.

Do what your conscience tells you, Amadd. Your friend won't care.

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Gordon Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 20221 Gordon Gender:	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #21 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:34pm Just go for the free food and booze at the wake.
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cods

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Re: if you had a long friendship...
Reply #22 - Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:37pm

Aussie wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 3:22pm:

Agnes wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 3:19pm:

Some good advice here from cods and sprint..I would go regardless..at one time you were friends and the latter part of your friendship may have been bitter and may still be lingering, but that was only one part of a whole.. pay your respects be the bigger man.. no regrets later on.

That's the dilemma. Is it being the bigger man....or is it being a hypocrite.

I think we all have friends and then for some unknown reason we dont keep in touch... the other person is just as involved in the break....

when that person dies you dont know what was in their heart.. regrets or anger....you really have to look at what kind of friendship you had...and see it from where you are.. do you regret not getting in touch and trying to mend the relationship....its like family some dont speak for years...for one reason or another...but death brings them to the funeral...it is a form of cleansing...

I dont think you should regard someone as a hypocrite..unless they have spent years defaming said person....

just shut up and try to learn to live with yourself.... Roll Eyes

the worst thing you an do .. is give yourself REGRETS to live with the rest of your life...

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Amadd Gold Member Offline Mo Posts: 6217	Re: if you had a long friendship... Reply #23 - Mar 2^nd, 2017 at 9:31am Gordon wrote on Feb 27^th, 2017 at 4:34pm: Just go for the free food and booze at the wake. Best advice ever. Cheers!
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