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Domestic Violence (Read 37496 times)
mothra
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #45 - May 6th, 2015 at 3:40am
 
While it's true that many men have become the victims of domestic violence, the data is skewed a little.

Male and male relationships report a distinctly high number of domestic violence incidents.

This is not to say that heterosexual men are not the victims of DV. It is a growing problem. I would like to float however that it is other men who create barriers to these men seeking help. It is considered 'unmanly' to be the subject of a woman's bad behaviour.

Is it considered unwomanly to be the subject of a man's bad behaviour?

That blunt edge swings both ways ... with no winners.

All said and done, the most likely to abused are women. Women with children. This is the primary demographic for abuse. Abuse of all kinds,
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Agnes
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #46 - May 6th, 2015 at 12:31pm
 
Some men are just very easy going- and are taken advantage of - it would be a huge loss of face for a man to admit he is the victim  of aggression from a woman..my partner is such a man..not a mean bone in his body.
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Phemanderac
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #47 - May 6th, 2015 at 3:29pm
 
Skewed data = piffle....

The bottom line is (or perhaps rather should be) using any form of violence to express yourself, get your way or blow off steam is inappropriate and, at least, in a socially integrated and civilised society has NO PLACE....

So, since we have an issue of increasing violence it would seem that we (that's right folks, men and women) need to either accept that we are neither socially integrated or civilised or come up with a few meaningful and effective solutions as recently as RIGHT NOW....

Since many would seemingly prefer to let themselves be bogged down in the age old men vs women thing, I suspect most would reasonably lean to the harsh reality that we are simply still a bunch of anti social barbarians.
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cods
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #48 - Jan 15th, 2016 at 7:08am
 
Phemanderac wrote on May 6th, 2015 at 3:29pm:
Skewed data = piffle....

The bottom line is (or perhaps rather should be) using any form of violence to express yourself, get your way or blow off steam is inappropriate and, at least, in a socially integrated and civilised society has NO PLACE....

So, since we have an issue of increasing violence it would seem that we (that's right folks, men and women) need to either accept that we are neither socially integrated or civilised or come up with a few meaningful and effective solutions as recently as RIGHT NOW....

Since many would seemingly prefer to let themselves be bogged down in the age old men vs women thing, I suspect most would reasonably lean to the harsh reality that we are simply still a bunch of anti social barbarians.



one of my main WAR CRIES on this topic has always been stop the bloody blame game..whos the worst..


lets find the answer to stopping it...

but there is always the few that just wont stop the verbal bashing....

I agree with Rosie Batty.. who says the word DOMESTIC need to be replaced....

it means its an insular problem.. its your problem only you can fix it..

why on earth we think coppers can do anything I will never understand....its a revolving door as far as I am concerned.....and DVOs are pieces of paper that give women false security....

its bandaid laws that make us all think they are actually doing something towards preventing any more of it..

like it or not.. Mr Little killing himself and his two little boys is "DOMESTIC" VIOLENCE..

so many women have been killed because of "DOMESTIC" VIOLENCE.

a "mans" home is his castle.. to be protected at all times.. what goes on behind closed doors....is for them to sort out..

for a long time there has been shame over us about a marriage not working....we picked the wrong person...for a lot of people .. they were warned b y family not to marry that person....so when things go wrong they dont want to hear the  old.. "I told you so"reaction they presume they will get if they tell...

so they DONT talk about it.. they hope they can mend the broken fence without anyone knowing....

to bad about the kids...who mostly think whats happening is normal..I thought my childhood was the norm ours was mental abuse .. which can be a whole lot worse because its so hard to explain what it does to you...

lets find answers....
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Agnes
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #49 - Jan 15th, 2016 at 7:49am
 
cods wrote on Jan 15th, 2016 at 7:08am:
Phemanderac wrote on May 6th, 2015 at 3:29pm:
Skewed data = piffle....

The bottom line is (or perhaps rather should be) using any form of violence to express yourself, get your way or blow off steam is inappropriate and, at least, in a socially integrated and civilised society has NO PLACE....

So, since we have an issue of increasing violence it would seem that we (that's right folks, men and women) need to either accept that we are neither socially integrated or civilised or come up with a few meaningful and effective solutions as recently as RIGHT NOW....

Since many would seemingly prefer to let themselves be bogged down in the age old men vs women thing, I suspect most would reasonably lean to the harsh reality that we are simply still a bunch of anti social barbarians.



one of my main WAR CRIES on this topic has always been stop the bloody blame game..whos the worst..


lets find the answer to stopping it...

but there is always the few that just wont stop the verbal bashing....

I agree with Rosie Batty.. who says the word DOMESTIC need to be replaced....

it means its an insular problem.. its your problem only you can fix it..

why on earth we think coppers can do anything I will never understand....its a revolving door as far as I am concerned.....and DVOs are pieces of paper that give women false security....

its bandaid laws that make us all think they are actually doing something towards preventing any more of it..

like it or not.. Mr Little killing himself and his two little boys is "DOMESTIC" VIOLENCE..

so many women have been killed because of "DOMESTIC" VIOLENCE.

a "mans" home is his castle.. to be protected at all times.. what goes on behind closed doors....is for them to sort out..

for a long time there has been shame over us about a marriage not working....we picked the wrong person...for a lot of people .. they were warned b y family not to marry that person....so when things go wrong they dont want to hear the  old.. "I told you so"reaction they presume they will get if they tell...

so they DONT talk about it.. they hope they can mend the broken fence without anyone knowing....

to bad about the kids...who mostly think whats happening is normal..I thought my childhood was the norm ours was mental abuse .. which can be a whole lot worse because its so hard to explain what it does to you...

lets find answers....

  The comfort some women believe they have with a DVO is scary you are right- if a man wants to really hurt you it means nothing. And as for Mr Little killing his 2 little boys that way, I believe he was mentally ill- none the less it was DV.  Pt Lincoln is just down the road from me.
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cods
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #50 - Jan 15th, 2016 at 7:27pm
 
Agnes wrote on Jan 15th, 2016 at 7:49am:
cods wrote on Jan 15th, 2016 at 7:08am:
Phemanderac wrote on May 6th, 2015 at 3:29pm:
Skewed data = piffle....

The bottom line is (or perhaps rather should be) using any form of violence to express yourself, get your way or blow off steam is inappropriate and, at least, in a socially integrated and civilised society has NO PLACE....

So, since we have an issue of increasing violence it would seem that we (that's right folks, men and women) need to either accept that we are neither socially integrated or civilised or come up with a few meaningful and effective solutions as recently as RIGHT NOW....

Since many would seemingly prefer to let themselves be bogged down in the age old men vs women thing, I suspect most would reasonably lean to the harsh reality that we are simply still a bunch of anti social barbarians.



one of my main WAR CRIES on this topic has always been stop the bloody blame game..whos the worst..


lets find the answer to stopping it...

but there is always the few that just wont stop the verbal bashing....

I agree with Rosie Batty.. who says the word DOMESTIC need to be replaced....

it means its an insular problem.. its your problem only you can fix it..

why on earth we think coppers can do anything I will never understand....its a revolving door as far as I am concerned.....and DVOs are pieces of paper that give women false security....

its bandaid laws that make us all think they are actually doing something towards preventing any more of it..

like it or not.. Mr Little killing himself and his two little boys is "DOMESTIC" VIOLENCE..

so many women have been killed because of "DOMESTIC" VIOLENCE.

a "mans" home is his castle.. to be protected at all times.. what goes on behind closed doors....is for them to sort out..

for a long time there has been shame over us about a marriage not working....we picked the wrong person...for a lot of people .. they were warned b y family not to marry that person....so when things go wrong they dont want to hear the  old.. "I told you so"reaction they presume they will get if they tell...

so they DONT talk about it.. they hope they can mend the broken fence without anyone knowing....

to bad about the kids...who mostly think whats happening is normal..I thought my childhood was the norm ours was mental abuse .. which can be a whole lot worse because its so hard to explain what it does to you...

lets find answers....

  The comfort some women believe they have with a DVO is scary you are right- if a man wants to really hurt you it means nothing. And as for Mr Little killing his 2 little boys that way, I believe he was mentally ill- none the less it was DV.  Pt Lincoln is just down the road from me. 


oh dear.. then that must have affected you badly.. I am sorry, I always feel bad for the whole community...and these small places seem to cop this dont they??...look at finding that little girls body in the suitcase......something like 250 people in the whole place and all the while her broken little body was lying there....
shes home with her mum and family now...god bless her..little soul.

its so cruel to have to spend your life trying to live with this...
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Agnes
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #51 - Jan 18th, 2016 at 1:20am
 
Yes it is always heart breaking when adults go off the deep end and take the life of little ones, but all too often that is the case . That poor little girl in the suitcase, my heart broke for her and her poor mother, only a child herself. That was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever heard- a small child dead in a suitcase, left on the side of a road like that. Horrible.

There are some deliberately cruel monsters in this world and then we have troubled souls like that man and his little boys- he didn't get the help he needed in time to save him and his boys.
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« Last Edit: Jan 18th, 2016 at 2:34am by Agnes »  

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cods
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #52 - Jan 18th, 2016 at 9:39am
 
Agnes wrote on Jan 18th, 2016 at 1:20am:
Yes it is always heart breaking when adults go off the deep end and take the life of little ones, but all too often that is the case . That poor little girl in the suitcase, my heart broke for her and her poor mother, only a child herself. That was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever heard- a small child dead in a suitcase, left on the side of a road like that. Horrible.

There are some deliberately cruel monsters in this world and then we have troubled souls like that man and his little boys- he didn't get the help he needed in time to save him and his boys.



agnes not everyone will accept help..
I cannot even begin to think what goes through someones mind when they take a childs life.........

Im not sure what treatment there is for that. and you know some of these counselors shouldnt be in the job...
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #53 - Jan 20th, 2016 at 2:49pm
 
Neferti wrote on Apr 18th, 2015 at 9:46am:
Cry me a river! Cheesy

I think so too  Grin
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Agnes
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #54 - Jan 20th, 2016 at 10:14pm
 
darinnoah wrote on Jan 20th, 2016 at 2:49pm:
Neferti wrote on Apr 18th, 2015 at 9:46am:
Cry me a river! Cheesy

I think so too  Grin

  Hi "darinnoah", aren't you and Naffy just like peas in a pod, I do declare.
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« Last Edit: Jan 20th, 2016 at 11:05pm by Agnes »  

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bogarde73
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #55 - Feb 7th, 2016 at 12:41pm
 
I don't think there is any such thing as anger management in many cases, other than deep deep sedation.
Submission won't do it. Who can ever submit enough or know when or how
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #56 - Feb 8th, 2016 at 11:05am
 
Years of ADVOs failed to protect allegedly murdered mother of five Sharon Michelutti


Quote:
A mother of five who was allegedly stabbed by her fiance had been the subject of many apprehended domestic violence orders dating back to the 1990s, including one that was taken out two weeks before her death.

This week those orders failed to protect Sharon Louise Michelutti when her partner, Gavin Debeyer, allegedly stabbed her in the chest at their home in Sydney's south-west.

He is allegedly one of thousands of men in NSW who continue to turn a blind eye to the law and breach the ADVOs taken out against them.


http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/years-of-avos-failed-to-protect-allegedly-murdered-mot...
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cods
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #57 - Feb 10th, 2016 at 8:20am
 
Neferti wrote on Feb 8th, 2016 at 11:05am:
Years of ADVOs failed to protect allegedly murdered mother of five Sharon Michelutti


Quote:
A mother of five who was allegedly stabbed by her fiance had been the subject of many apprehended domestic violence orders dating back to the 1990s, including one that was taken out two weeks before her death.

This week those orders failed to protect Sharon Louise Michelutti when her partner, Gavin Debeyer, allegedly stabbed her in the chest at their home in Sydney's south-west.

He is allegedly one of thousands of men in NSW who continue to turn a blind eye to the law and breach the ADVOs taken out against them.


http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/years-of-avos-failed-to-protect-allegedly-murdered-mot...



its amazing the POWER we think a piece of paper has..

its like speeding fines....they work for a week or two after that business as usual..otherwise there would be no reason for loss of points.....would there?..

actually AVOs and DVOs only give some women a false sense of security...

and of course lets the law makers believe they are actually doing something to stop DV...

a lot is covered up...we still see it as shame...something to hide and not share....if someone has a DVO out on them then it should be common knowledge...women need to be told to  tell the neighbours.. so if they see this thug....they ring the police...its not the victims shame after all...... if someone was breaking into homes in the street you would tell everyone wouldnt you????...

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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #58 - Feb 10th, 2016 at 1:50pm
 
cods wrote on Feb 10th, 2016 at 8:20am:
Neferti wrote on Feb 8th, 2016 at 11:05am:
Years of ADVOs failed to protect allegedly murdered mother of five Sharon Michelutti


Quote:
A mother of five who was allegedly stabbed by her fiance had been the subject of many apprehended domestic violence orders dating back to the 1990s, including one that was taken out two weeks before her death.

This week those orders failed to protect Sharon Louise Michelutti when her partner, Gavin Debeyer, allegedly stabbed her in the chest at their home in Sydney's south-west.

He is allegedly one of thousands of men in NSW who continue to turn a blind eye to the law and breach the ADVOs taken out against them.


http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/years-of-avos-failed-to-protect-allegedly-murdered-mot...



its amazing the POWER we think a piece of paper has..

its like speeding fines....they work for a week or two after that business as usual..otherwise there would be no reason for loss of points.....would there?..

actually AVOs and DVOs only give some women a false sense of security...

and of course lets the law makers believe they are actually doing something to stop DV...

a lot is covered up...we still see it as shame...something to hide and not share....if someone has a DVO out on them then it should be common knowledge...women need to be told to  tell the neighbours.. so if they see this thug....they ring the police...its not the victims shame after all...... if someone was breaking into homes in the street you would tell everyone wouldnt you????...


I honestly do not think that AVOs and DVOs are worth getting, it only seems to make the "offender" antagonistic, which makes it even more dangerous for the woman (and children) involved.

Women need to learn to be assertive (not aggressive) and be able to walk away from a relationship BEFORE it becomes physically violent. In some instances, I feel that women bring it upon themselves ... they can goad a bloke to frustration enough that he lashes out .... learn to keep your mouth shut, ladies if you can't walk away BEFORE it gets beyond the point of no return.

Obviously, I do NOT condone a man hitting a woman (or vice versa) but as they say, it usually begins with "verbal abuse" (we see a LOT of that here from male Members) and progresses to a "slap" and so on. An AVO will not stop "abuse" and in fact might even encourage it.

My advice is. If your husband/partner/boyfriend/wife, etc begins abusing you, verbally (you are just like your Mother; you are a slut/whore, etc) do NOT retaliate ... consider the relationship as a bad one and move on!

I am not talking about the obvious "spats" that couples have over stupid things .... but verbal abuse for the sake of it is an early sign that the relationship could very well end up with you in Hospital ... or worse.
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Re: Domestic Violence
Reply #59 - Feb 10th, 2016 at 1:56pm
 
Well said Nef and cods.

Against an irate man, a piece of paper may not be overly effective.
Better to move away from said aggressive man before they get irate.
And keep a golf club in the wardrobe.

getting your man involved in a local club or any interest where he has time with other men may help.
This is years before he does anything untoward.

To the ladies, sorry.
Most of us men like women.
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