Australian Politics Forum

Tap Senior Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 419 Gender:	Re: jokes Reply #45 - Jun 29^th, 2015 at 3:17pm .. How can you tell if a midget's having her period? She keeps tripping over the string. ..
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Tap

Senior Member

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Australian Politics

Posts: 419
Gender: male

Re: jokes
Reply #46 - Jun 29^th, 2015 at 3:25pm

,,˙ʇsɹᴉɟ ƃuᴉɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ sǝɹnsɐǝɯ ǝɥ ʍou os 'ʇᴉd ǝɥʇ ssɐd ʇ,uplnoɔ ǝɥ puɐ 'ʇᴉ ǝʇɐ ǝɥ puɐ 'ɥɔɐǝd ƃᴉq ɐ ɯᴉɥ ʍǝɹɥʇ ʎpoqǝɯos 'ʞǝǝʍ ʇsɐ˥ ˙ʎǝʞuoɯ ʇɹɐɯs ʎɹǝʌ ɐ s,ʇɐɥʇ 'oN,, 'sʎɐs ɹǝdǝǝʞooz ǝɥ┴
,,˙ʎǝʞuoɯ pᴉdnʇs ʎɹǝʌ ǝuo sᴉ ʇɐɥʇ 'uɐW,, 'sʎɐs ǝɥ puɐ 'ɹǝdǝǝʞooz ǝɥʇ oʇ sǝoƃ ǝH
,,¡ʞn⅄,, 'sǝoƃ ʎnƃ ǝɥ┴
˙ʇᴉ sʇɐǝ puɐ 'ʇno ʇᴉ sllnd 'puǝ ɹɐǝɹ sᴉɥ uᴉ ʇᴉ sʞɔᴉʇs 'ʇnuɐǝd ǝɥʇ dn sʞɔᴉd ʎǝʞuoɯ ǝɥ┴ ˙ʇnuɐǝd ɹǝɥʇouɐ ʎǝʞuoɯ ǝɥʇ sʍoɹɥʇ ǝH
,,¡ʞn⅄,, 'sǝoƃ ʎnƃ ǝɥ┴
˙ʇᴉ sʇɐǝ puɐ 'ʇno ʇᴉ sllnd 'puǝ ɹɐǝɹ sᴉɥ uᴉ ʇᴉ sʞɔᴉʇs 'ʇnuɐǝd ǝɥʇ dn sʞɔᴉd ʎǝʞuoɯ ǝɥ┴ ˙ʇnuɐǝd ɐ ʎǝʞuoɯ ǝɥʇ sʍoɹɥʇ ǝH ˙sʎǝʞuoɯ ǝɥʇ pǝǝɟ oʇ ooz ǝɥʇ oʇ sǝoƃ ʎnƃ ∀

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Tap Senior Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 419 Gender:	Re: jokes Reply #47 - Jun 29^th, 2015 at 3:47pm What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? Getting her back inta her wheelchair.
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freediver Gold Member Offline www.ozpolitic.com Posts: 47369 At my desk.	Re: jokes Reply #48 - Jun 30^th, 2015 at 7:33pm .
Back to top	11694981_10152788744592434_6616439160238098017_n.jpg (9 KB \| 78 ) I identify as Mail because all I do is SendIT! IP Logged

Raven Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 2981 Around	Re: jokes Reply #49 - Jun 30^th, 2015 at 9:27pm freediver wrote on Jun 20^th, 2015 at 8:44am: . http://i.imgur.com/55oeM.jpg You know freediver Raven finds that very insulting. You shouldn't make jokes about terrorist victims Raven's grandfather was killed by terrorists in a nazi concentration camp
Back to top	Quoth the Raven "Nevermore" Raven would rather ask questions that may never be answered, then accept answers which must never be questioned. IP Logged

Raven Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 2981 Around	Re: jokes Reply #50 - Jun 30^th, 2015 at 9:28pm One of them threw their Star of David at him and he fell out of a guard tower
Back to top	Quoth the Raven "Nevermore" Raven would rather ask questions that may never be answered, then accept answers which must never be questioned. IP Logged

John Smith Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 72209 Gender:	Re: jokes Reply #51 - Jul 2^nd, 2015 at 1:05pm I have just been fired from my job with the 000 Emergency Call Centre. A guy called Abdul phoned and said,"I'm depressed and lying on the railway track waiting for the train to come,so I can finally meet Allah." Apparently, "Remain calm and stay on the line" was the wrong response.
Back to top	Our esteemed leader: I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus. IP Logged

cods Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 88048	Re: jokes Reply #52 - Jul 2^nd, 2015 at 1:51pm freediver wrote on Jun 30^th, 2015 at 7:33pm: . wheres the rest of your collection fd.. dont be shy .. we know you have all his pics in wet cossies.. let them out of the closet we wont tell..
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Neferti Gold Member Offline Posts: 7965 Canberra Gender:	Re: jokes Reply #53 - Jul 2^nd, 2015 at 6:58pm .
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John_Taverner

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Australian Politics

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Re: jokes
Reply #54 - Jul 3^rd, 2015 at 11:31am

freediver wrote on Jun 28^th, 2015 at 2:44pm:

CNN spots "ISIS flag" at gay pride parade and quickly summons national security analyst...

I was there. I did a double take when I saw the flag (not the first double take). My wife and I had a limousine transfer to our hotel. The route was blocked by the parade. We ended up with a 3km walk, most of it up Regent Street. Fortunately a rickshaw driver took pity on us, and could go where no taxi could go. So we hurtled down the streets of London, clinging for dear life with 50 plus kg of luggage bouncing in the seat (in the downhill stretches). It was entertaining to put it mildly, and he finally charged us 25 pounds, which I gladly gave him.

Our intended limousine transfer would have been much more boring.

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Phemanderac Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 3507 Gender:	Re: jokes Reply #55 - Jul 3^rd, 2015 at 3:52pm When the pirate captain was asked about the ship's wheel he kept in the front of his pants he replied, "Argggh it's driven me nuts..."
Back to top	On the 26th of January you are all invited to celebrate little white penal day... "They're not rules as such, more like guidelines" Pirates of the Caribbean.. IP Logged

Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 39515 Gender:	Re: jokes Reply #56 - Jul 3^rd, 2015 at 8:35pm
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John Smith

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Australian Politics

Posts: 72209
Gender: male

Re: jokes
Reply #57 - Jul 5^th, 2015 at 5:31pm

Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.

Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

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Our esteemed leader:
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

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John Smith

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Australian Politics

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Re: jokes
Reply #58 - Jul 8^th, 2015 at 2:14pm

A lifelong white racist in the Western end of Sydney is in a major car crash. When he comes round three days later in hospital the surgeon says “I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is you have had two pints of African blood and two pints of Muslim blood”. He screams “What the hell is the good news then”.

“The good news is your penis is 6” longer and you are on top of the housing list”.

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Our esteemed leader:
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

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John Smith

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Australian Politics

Posts: 72209
Gender: male

Re: jokes
Reply #59 - Jul 8^th, 2015 at 2:15pm

Patiently waiting for it to turn Green even though there was no
on-coming traffic.

A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-British
slogans, with a half- burned Union Flag duct-taped to the boot lid of
their car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan, spray painted on the side, was
stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar!" and took off before the light changed.

Out of nowhere a bus came speeding through the junction and
ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing
everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Bloody hell! That could have been me !"

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a bus driver.

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Our esteemed leader:
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

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