Q: What's the difference between Sprint and a vampire?
A: At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

I had a phone call from the school today.

They said, "Your son has just spray painted 'Muslims Are c_u_n_t_s' in giant letters across the playground."

"You must be joking?" I said, "I don't believe for a second that he's actually done it."

"Well, he did."  she replied, "I watched him."

"Fair play then," I said, "I owe him a tenner."

A Muslim walks into his local mosque with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about, Abdul?" Asks the Imam.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies Abdul. "I live by the railroad tracks and on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the rails, like in the American movies. I cut her free and took her back to my humble abode. Allah be praised - we made love all night, all around the tent. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position permitted by Mohammed, Peace Be Upon Him!"

"By the most Merciful," exclaimed the Imam, "you have been blessed. Was she as beautiful as a desert flower?"

Abdul grimaced, "By the Jinn, I do not know - I never found her head."

An Insightful Observation of Tolerance

Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says:

"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto.  I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.  Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."

"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.  We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other, a topless bar, would be called "You Mecca Me Hot."

"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs."

“Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods", and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."

"All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.” 

Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on.  And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point..  It is either past your bedtime, or its midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed.

Do you know how copper wire was  invented?

Two Jews fighting over a penny.

A Hindu runs into a Catholic church screaming

"My Karma has run over your Dogma"

http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1425418150